How Difficult is your Parent?

This questionnaire allows you to see your parent’s level of “difficulty” with regards to 40 problem behaviors in six different categories. 

Check off next to each behavior that you feel applies to your parent. When done, the total at the bottom will be used to determine your parent's level of difficulty.  This questionnaire gives you a way to compare your parent’s behavior with a host of problem behaviors.  The process will help you to label specific behaviors so that you can learn how to address them.

This questionnaire was used with permission from the authors of Coping With Your Difficult Older Parents: A Guide For Stressed Out Children, by Grace Lebow and Barbara Kane with Irwin Lebow.

Scoring:

1-10 = Your parent is slightly difficult.  You might be managing both your and their expectations. You are probably holding up ok and aren’t really at the point of pulling your hair out. Sure, there might be one or two stressful points, but you are probably managing to deal with them without too many difficulties.  If your parent is slightly difficult, then you might be managing both your and their expectations. You are probably holding up ok and aren’t really at the point of pulling your hair out. 

11-20 = Your parent is moderately difficult.  At this point, trying to manage both your life and your parent's life is getting more difficult.  They are putting more demands on you to where it is starting to affect your personal life and your relationship with them.  You might be at a point where you need some help to manage your own mental health and stress.

21+ = Your parent is very difficult.  This is the red-alert zone.  You probably knew before you took this quiz that your parent is difficult.  Well, here is your proof!  At least 50% of adult children believe that their parent falls into this category.  So, on the one hand, you are not alone, but on the other, that statistic doesn't help you much.  If your parent is very difficult, then it is highly likely that your personal stress levels are becoming unmanageable and you are starting to jeopardize your own mental and physical stress.

Difficult behaviors in your parents could show up later in life, or they might have been difficult their whole life.  It is important to find out the cause of the difficulty regardless of how long the behaviors have been happening.  Understanding how and why they are acting this way can help you save your relationship with your parent and your own sanity.

Would you like to know:

·        Why they are acting that way and how you can respond?

·        How you can have less stress right now?

·        Proven action steps you can take to feel better?

Click below to get more information on how you can care for your aging parents without losing your mind or k*lling them.  It's time to Save Your Marbles!