Welcome!

First and foremost, Touch of Leather (ToL) is a gateway organization. Our mission is to open the door to people who are just discovering the world of Alternate Choice and help them feel at home, and also  help them find what may be the best path for them. We do this through facilitating education and recreation within the Alternative Lifestyle Arena.  We have been a recognized and registered group here in Texas since 1999.  People who attend ToL events understand that is important to be mindful of how they felt when they were at the place of beginning, and to not take advantage of those who are new to the scene.  

We encourage newcomers to take advantage of their own walk in the scene. To help you, we will provide education and safer spaces, however, it is up to each person to utilize education opportunities to negotiate and to take the time to determine their best course of action. 

Please be aware that are many different choices to be made in our lifestyle. There are also many  many different levels of experience within this club. We encourage everyone to remember that everyone is their peer until negotiation has been agreed to, that might put a power exchange in place. Utilize the resource of our membership and participants as you determine what may be comfortable, exciting, and workable for you. There is no one true way, but there is a way that is best for you, and that is by taking the time to ask BEFORE you act.

 

Personal Responsibility

You need to be aware that we expect a level of respect, measured courtesy, and good manners from everyone at our parties, munches, events, and what is written in online networks where what is written could be interpreted as indicative of representing the view of this organization. We do not “do” politics here. Not everyone may share the same kink or protocols, or lifestyle choices. We view this as a cause for celebrating our diversity and not creating discord. We do not all need to be the same. However, we do need to maintain an adult perspective. We are adults and are expected to respond to adult situations accordingly. If someone’s approach to What It Is That We Do is different than your own, please remember that we all do things with our own twists and special touches. We cannot, nor should we expect others to, know everything the first time they encounter new situations. We, as an organization, understand this and we expect you to understand this too. We expect you to show others the same respect that you wish shown to you. When in doubt, simple common sense and good manners will put you in good stead.

We want to clearly state this: ToL does not discriminate on the basis of  culture, creed, religion, gender, sexuality, or ethnicity.  We will not tolerate persons who are abusive or discriminatory towards our membership. Period. Go somewhere else.

We do not tolerate abuse in any form. It is mandatory that every adult of a ToL event have given their full consent to participate. No one under the age of 18 may participate at the parties  and anyone who requires a custodial guardian may not become a member of TOL because this is part of the concept that they cannot legally consent for their actions. 

 

Points of Contact for Touch of Leather

Let us take a moment and let you know about Touch of Leather as an organization and the official point(s) of contact for each.

The Central TX ToL website is: http://www.CenTxTOL.org

The ToL FetLife group is: https://fetlife.com/groups/2454

The Central TX ToL E-mail: CenTxTouchOfLeather@gmail.com

The fastest way to get in contact with the ToL Council is to send us an email. We will get back to you as soon as possible.

If you would like to be made a member of the ToL Facebook group (it is set to secret so that no one can see that you are a member nor your activity in the group), please request an invite from a council member. Currently, our Facebook page is where to find the most up-to-date information and updates about events. Send an email to inquire further.

Note that being a member of any of the Touch of Leather affiliate e-group, Fet group  or any electronic networking portal does NOT make you a member of Touch of Leather (the affiliation). Being a part of these online discussion venues makes it easier to get information and get to know people who are active within ToL activities. Please also note that removing ANY information from one of our lists and placing it elsewhere in a public venue is a direct violation of our privacy standards. You may not publish anything you find on a Touch of Leather site without the express permission of the author/photographer and Wicked_Mistress aka Becca. Do not use any of our material for your personal pursuits without written permission from the council.

Current Council Members

Name	Position	Fetlife Handle
Becca	President	Wicked_Mistress
Baloo	Vice President	BalooATX
Thumper	Treasurer / Volunteer Coordinator	SexyThumpinWolf
Mufasa	Member at Large / TCC Rep	Mufasa8u
Jishy	PR	JishyKitty
Kira	PR	Tenkisai
Scar	Member at Large / TCC Rep	Scar_64

This Council has committed to give their time each week to facilitate their focus ToL as an organization. If you have a concern or question you may contact any member of the Council.

You may also contact Becca at any time. Be prepared for her to inquire if you have spoken with your Council as well. Meeting with a member of the leadership helps us all put names with faces and creates a more relaxed and safe atmosphere for everyone. We have a “close knit family” vibe in ToL and we’d like to keep it that way. It also helps us better facilitate the folks who think of ToL as home. 

We do ask that if you are experiencing a challenge that deals with ToL, that you contact someone on the Council and allow us the opportunity of working with you. We frown upon trolling, spamming, and politics. It is so much easier to remember that we are simply all people here, who want to have fun, learn a thing or two, make a friend and have a safe space to find acceptance. This being said, we welcome folks who want to help out. While no one is expected to do everything, ToL does “Stone Soup” very well. When each person contributes a little of what they love to do,we all benefit and it makes the group stronger and an enjoyable club.    

**Please note-- If you are one who thinks that “Alternate Choice” means tapping the sexually desperate or if you forget that we are ALL equals in this group - please rest assured that we encourage our Council and Members to remind you that it may be wise to remember usage of either respect or the door. **

Membership

To become a card carrying Member you must attend 2 munches – one of which must be the New Member Orientation munch, and one educational event in the Texas Community and sign a waiver- (that will be validated by leadership)-that clearly states you understand what our venue is, what  you may experience and that you are who you say you are. The educational classes may be given by organizations outside of ToL, such as SAADE, Dom’s Den, etc. Participation in the official Mentoring Program also qualifies. Please note that any non-ToL educational events will need verification before “counting” toward ToL membership.

**Covid Addendum**

Virtual munches will count towards the required attended munches. Due to the lack of in person munches currently, a meeting with leadership to go over the New Member Orientation will be sufficient for one of those munches. 

There are three levels of Membership at this time. 

Associate Member- awarded to those who are active in the Community and have supported ToL or facilitated the membership in a selfless manner.
Affiliate Member- Under the age of 21.
Member-Age 21 and over.

These levels are recognized as ToL Members, and carry like discounts when applicable. Because of our Affiliation with TCC, Affiliate Members may not use TCC property. You MUST be a Member of ToL, (21 or over) to use the landsite. 

At no time will any person under the age of 18 (mentally, emotionally or physically) be a Member of ToL, attend any ToL party, or any event where play occurs.

Membership fee is $15.00 and must be renewed annually in January. The requirements for renewal do not demand the orientation or munch attendance, and we will do our best to make several educational workshops on varying subjects available to you throughout the year. (There will be a $5 charge for replacement cards should you need one). Please contact a council member for further details on Membership cards. 

 
Be prepared to give the exact name you wish on the card, your legal name, your legal signature, and your legal birth date.  These are required for a card to be issued. That information will not be placed on the card. Your card will have a reference number that will allow us to access your information should conduct within the group, or outlying Communities, become harmful.

Affiliations

We  belong to the Texas Conference of Clubs (TCC) and as part of that association, Members have the privilege of land use. This is not open to all.  And while members may bring 2 guests a year- a guest may only visit twice without membership to Touch of Leather. For more information, please speak to a TCC represntative to arrange a personalized TCC orientation.

Removal of Membership

If a point in time comes when you choose to leave the membership of ToL (or if you are asked to leave ToL,) you must turn your membership card over to one of the leaders or dispose of it. Be aware that if we are approached by another Alternate Choice organization and are made aware you are using an affiliation with us that does not exist; we will denounce the supposed affiliation.

Only personal choice (letting us know you no longer wish to be part of the group), a lack of personal integrity, or being determined a person of harmful intent (and being asked to leave ToL) will remove you from the Touch of Leather rosters. Matters of geographical location do not. We have several members who are overseas or in other States.

 

Attending Parties and Campouts

To attend a party you must attend 2 munches, 1 of which must be a new member orientation at the Sunday Belton Munch (or private leadership orientation), or at the Gulf Coast Orientation held at the munch or host home. You will also need to RSVP to the Host. Virtual munches will count towards this total for the time being.

If you have not attended a ToL munch or leadership orientation; you’ll need to let the host know and get special permission beforehand, AND have a member willing to vouch for you. Please see the section on Party Guidelines for more specific information.

You may attend a Touch of Leather function if you are the sponsored guest of a member in good standing. (We ask that you not show up to a munch for the first time and ask the membership if they will sponsor you for the next party, if they do not already know you. –spirit of the law counts just as much as letter of the law). 

You must attend an orientation specifically on TCC, BEFORE going to the landsite for the first time, regardless of membership status. The TCC orientation will include the exact location of the campground. Your Membership status will also be confirmed so that we remain in compliance with our conference land use agreement. Our primary TCC delegate is Scar. It is highly recommended that you contact him if you have ANY questions about TCC and/or to set up a time for your first visit.

 

Party Guidelines

(also in effect for any ToL event held in a Member’s Home) 

We hold parties in private homes and all final decisions are the call of that host (homeowner). The host may amend the guidelines of ToL for the duration of their party, simply because, it is their home and they must deal with the legal ramifications of those choices. This means they may include more rules, but these expectations are required to be considered a Touch of Leather sanctioned event.

• One thing that will remain constant at any ToL sanctioned event is: Legal Personal Consent. No one under the age 18 (mentally, emotionally or physically). Children cannot consent nor be on the premises of an event where play takes place.
• No animals. 
• “No” means NO! When consent is withdrawn, play stops. This also means that if someone becomes intoxicated, consent is withdrawn, because those under the influence cannot consent. 
• Each Host will let guests know their stand on sensitive issues such as: drinking, sex, closed door play, and so on. They will also determine themes, foods to be brought, donations at the door (if any).  ToL supports the host’s guidelines. At no time will the group’s leadership supersede the decision of a host when it concerns their home.
• If you feel that something is not healthy, or makes you uncomfortable, please see a Host or a Member of the ToL leadership for assistance. This removes you from the awkward position and allows the host to determine the activities taking place within their homes.
• Be aware that all parties have the Traffic Light Safe Words… 
  Green- go baby go
  Yellow- slow down- maybe change tempo or tool
  Red- Stop- all stop! Right Now!
  If you have a “tried and true” personal safe word-please announce this at the beginning of the scene so that any seconds or the audience my listen for it. At the very least, inform the Dungeon Monitor on duty.
• Ask before you Act! If you did not walk in the door with it, ask before you put your hands on it. This applies to people, as well as possessions. 
• If you do ask and the answer is “no”, then listen! If the answer is “maybe”, come back later and ask once again…once. Do NOT pressure others into play. Coersion is NOT consent. 
• We are all adults and peers, and need to remember this. If a submissive, slave, bottom does not belong to you, or has not negotiated to exchange their personal power with you; you have NO right to order them around or expect service from them. They have the right to choose to whom they give their power.
• Every person at a party has the right to tell anyone “no”. This goes for Tops as well as Bottoms, Ladies, Thems, Gentlemen, Experienced player,s as well as the Newcomers.
• Discretion is the better part of Valor. 
  • What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Please don’t discuss what happens outside of ToL Company.  
  • Do not use proper names or “vanilla life issues” at a kink event. Use the scene name if that is the name they use ( for example  – “Mistress Martha this is Dom Mark” - NOT- “Martha this is Greg (note that Martha was going by Mistress Martha and Greg was going by Dom Mark.) 
  • Don’t use kink names in a vanilla setting - if you don’t know their vanilla name - then simply smile and say “hello”- (do not yell out “Hey simpering slut how are you?” across Wal-Mart in town.) Also, watch for body language and eye contact. They may not want to explain “how” they know you. If this happens, a slight nod or a polite smile is all that is needed to convey friendliness AND discretion.
• Check with the host of each party before taking any photographs.
  • If the host does not allow it - don’t do it.
  • If the host does allow it - you must get the permission of every person in every picture that you take- using a digital camera so that anyone concerned can see how their image was captured.
  • If anyone that is in the picture - (yes even the wallflower in the back of the room) does not consent to the picture you must erase it- right then- before leaving their presence.
  • When asking permission, you should state if you plan to post the pics on the web. What might be okay for a personal library may not be alright for the web.
• ToL hosts should be given an RSVP to attend their party. This gives hosts  the opportunity to have a head count for their event, confirm directions are sent to guests, and make any preparations needed. (Besides, it is just good manners.) This RSVP should include:
  • How many people are in your party and their names;
  • Permission/request for any guests you are bringing; 
  • If you know what food/dish you’re bringing, that would be nice to send along as an FYI too.
• Be Thoughtful:
  • Do not arrive more than 15 minutes before the party without letting your host know WELL in advance of your arrival. Anyone arriving more than one-half hour early will be considered a set-up volunteer.
  • Parties are potluck. Please do your share and bring more than “chips and dip”. Proteins (meats and cheese) are always a good choice, especially after playing. Ask your host(s) if there is something you can bring to help. Hint: Bring something you love to eat!
  • Be aware of scene zones. Don’t walk into someone’s flogger swing or scene space.
  • Be aware that if you can be heard, you are a part of someone’s scene. Please modulate your voice near scenes.
  • Please do not attempt to talk to participants during a scene. Wait until the scene is finished and all after-care is done, then approach respectfully. We all love to share what we do and will be happy to answer your questions, after we are done.
  • Be aware of the time. Others may be waiting for the equipment or play space.
• Clean up after yourself.
  • This applies to the play space, equipment, and/or any borrowed toys.
  • It also applies for the host(s) home. Do your share to help clean up during the party. We appreciate our host(s) and we want them to have a good time too and not spend hours cleaning up after we’re gone.
  • This includes cigarette butts and soda cans used outside.

ToL Party Locations

There are only select homes available as sponsoring homes for ToL parties. If someone would like to have their home recognized as an official location, they are free to petition the leadership for consideration. We have to think of things like parking, accessibility and size (for example if you have a studio apartment, we really appreciate the offer but it would be hard to have 16 people and swinging room in a 12x12 space).

Anyone is free to hold personal parties, and you are welcome to use the party guidelines above should you choose. These are NOT ToL parties. Do not apply the name Touch of Leather to any event without expressed written permission from the ToL Council. There will be NO parties on government property. We are not willing to risk the damage that may be done to our active duty and retired military Members

Party locations/directions are given out only at Munches or through direct contact with the host(s). Please do not take it upon yourself to share host’s information without the direct permission of the host. If someone you know wishes to attend the party, but missed the Munch, please simply refer them to the host for guidance. If you missed the Munch and need directions, the same applies. E-mails are very readily available on the lists. 

 

Concerning Attending Parties & Guests

1. Members of ToL will have signed club waivers-however if the host wishes to  provide an additional waiver this is fully recognized as within their authority. If you bring a guest they will need to also show ID and sign a waiver. If you attend a party that requires a release be signed, you are free to choose: either sign the release and present requested ID, or leave.
2. If you attend a party that does not require a signed release, you need to be aware of the concept of implied consent. This means: you were a part of an online adult group  that discussed adult issues prior to attending this party, or you have requested to attend this party from the host and been made aware that  adult activities may take place. By entering this event, you give your implied consent to abide by the same guidelines as the membership of ToL. If you choose to withdraw your consent to adhere to these rules, and maintain discretionary procedure; you must leave the party at the time of this withdrawn consent. 
3. Guests (anyone NOT a member of ToL) must be pre-screened or be known personally to the host(s) before attending a party.
   1. We do have reciprocal agreements with SAADE (in Austin) and Waco TX, but please ask the host(s) beforehand. It is their home and they have the right to protect it and themselves.
   2. No person may bring a guest to a party who has not cleared it with the host(s) of that party in advance. This means prior consent, NOT at the door as you walk in. If this happens, it is up to the discretion of the host if you and your guest are welcome to the party or not.
4. If you, as a member of the ToL groups or e-lists, bring a guest to a party - YOU vouch for their conduct and the fact that they will not “out” the others at the party. If you cannot vouch for the conduct of your guest, do not bring them.
   1. NO person shall bring a guest to a ToL party who is unaware of the adult nature of our parties. (We are not a joke or test to be played on vanilla folks to “shock them into being kinky”).
   2. You are responsible to make certain your guest is aware of what will be taking place and making sure they are ready for those activities. IF you are in doubt of their comfort level, please bring them to a couple Munches and allow them to ask questions in a much more acceptable venue.

 

Extra Curricular Things ☺ and Common Sense Guidelines of ToL

(How we deal with others and our Community)

Socials:

We often do things like barbecues or picnics. These events are just a way of doing things as friends and families because life has to have balance. Many of us have kids and we want to relax among friends and not have to always have a sitter. It is stated here, clearly, that ANY ToL event that has ANYONE under the age of 18 on the premises (not just in the room) will have no play or nudity of any kind. For the protection of the group as a whole, ToL events will not take place on government property. The ONLY exception to this is if it is a “family friendly”, no-play, “vanilla” type of gathering. 

Guest Speakers:

When ToL invites a “special guest” to come and teach, please do what you can to help cover any expenses, whether you attend the event or not. We have a very good reputation nation-wide and we want to keep it that way. Most speakers/teachers only ask for gas money, a place to crash, and to eat. 

This hospitality we’ll gladly give them as they share their time and wisdom with us. If you would like to host a guest speaker in your home, or help with meals, or other hospitality tasks, please let the leadership team know.  If you cannot attend the event, just spread the news to folks that you feel would appreciate the opportunity so that the day is well attended and beneficial  for the organization as a whole.

Discretion:

While we don’t need to be ashamed on what it is that we do, we don’t need to alienate people around us by throwing it in their face either. What we do is private and we need to respect it as such. If you are comfortable with being “out” please remember that a fellow member may not be “out”, or it may cost them dearly to be “outted”. Please do not treat gatherings like sideshows. We don’t have to prove ourselves to anyone. Protecting our fellow community members is just as much a part of the credo “Do no harm” as it is to stop when one hears a safe word, or respect a hard boundary.

This life is not for everyone. Please be aware of whom you bring to Munches and why you do so. Each person is risking being “outted” with the introduction of someone new. If you bring people to munches, not to show them there is a safe haven for our kind, but instead to show them how “the other half lives”, you risk damaging your own Community. These new folks are not held to our codes of discretion and to do no harm.  

If you would like to introduce someone new to the “option” of the group, we encourage you to meet in a more private setting with one of the group leadership who can answer questions you may not be comfortable answering for your friend. We can also tell them of the opportunities in the area that may be right for them, without risking the Membership of ToL.

 

Diversity:

Our paths are many, even though the journey we are on is essentially the same. No one single person has all the answers to who and what we are. Respect everyone’s personal views as their practices. We should not let petty differences of ideology prevent us from maintaining a unified position. There are enough who would attack us on the outside, we should view our differences as opportunities for enrichment and growth; and diversity of viewpoint need not be a reason for division within our own Community.

If we concentrate on living our own lives as examples, and allow time for education and communication, we can realize understanding of our paths and appreciation for our differences. 

We are a family and we are privileged to be such. We need to make sure that we live our lives in balance. Just as our club seal (the trinity knot) signifies balance of mind, body, and spirit, past, present and future, we need to make certain than while we indulge our desires, remember there is responsibility to live our lives with integrity and  provide for those who depend upon us. We hold the credo: DO NO HARM quite seriously.

As a member, there is no shame in asking for assistance. As a more experienced member, there is a responsibility to provide guidance. We balance each other by our fresh viewpoint and fire, and our seasoned wisdom and steel. If we need help, there is no shame in asking for it. Conversely, if we can give help, we should do so. The wheel always turns, and sooner or later, our time will come to need, and to provide, to learn, and to teach. We expect you to play within your skill set and not endanger those with whom you may engage in play. 

 

This is an encrypted document. Touch of Leather takes your confidentiality very seriously.