• How's My Relationship Checklist

    START HERE TO BETTER UNDERSTAND HOW HEALTHY YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS (OR ISN'T)

  • We ask for your first name and email, so we can send you your results. This will, be default, also include you in our newsletter mailing list. You can choose to not be added to that list at the bottom of the checklist before you submit it. 


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  • HERE WE GO

    Take 3-5 minutes and get some insight into your relationship...
    This is a great place to start. We've carefully developed this survey* to ask deep questions and calculate your responses to give you the most accurate snapshot of where your relationship IS and what it could take to get is where you want to be.

    Take your time to carefully consider each item in the Relationship Checklist.

    Answer as honestly as you possibly can, because it DOES make a difference.

    When you're done, you'll be automatically taken to a results page, based on your score.

     

    *Disclaimer: The Relationship Checklist, created by relationship consultant, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, is intended for general use only. It is intended to provide you with insights about your relationship and does not purport to provide anything beyond stimulating your thinking. You are encouraged to consult Dr. Shaler or work with a professional counselor or therapist if you think there are issues that need attention in your relationship. This checklist is not intended to replace professional therapy or counseling, and nothing said or implied on this site should be taken, or construed in any way, as legal advice. (read full disclaimer here)

  • I can count on my partner to keep private things private between us.*
  • My partner and I enjoy talking together frequently about life, events, feelings and ideas.*
  • My partner not only hears the words I say but works to capture the meaning and feelings I want to convey.*
  • My partner is willing to talk with me and work out solutions for our relationship or communication issues.*
  • My partner and I encourage each other to grow and to change in positive ways.*
  • I do not question my partner's fidelity.*
  • My partner and I choose not to hold grudges. We let go of things and move on.*
  • I can count on my partner not to throw old words, actions or events in my face, especially when there is anger present.*
  • I always know I have my partner in my corner. They have my back.*
  • Although my partner may not agree with my feelings, s/he acknowledges that I have them and am entitled to them.*
  • When my partner makes a mistake, they admit it rather than trying to justify it.*
  • My partner and I put our relationship above our individual needs and desires.*
  • I can be fully myself with my partner, with no need to pretend, withhold or coverup.*
  • My partner shows me that I am appreciated, loved, seen and heard.*
  • My partner does not always understand me, but they believe in me regardless of circumstances.*
  • I feel close to my partner in every way and they are the prime person I want to spend time with.*
  • My partner takes the initiative to create time to spend together.*
  • I can safely tell my partner what I am thinking, feeling, needing or wanting in any circumstance, without concern.*
  • My partner and I share our visions for our life and collaborate to make them a reality.*
  • My partner treats me with patience and interest.*
  • My partner readily gives me his/her full attention and wants to know what I feel, think, need and want.*

  • A little reading before we get to the results.

    Equality, Mutuality & Reciprocity... These are the three must-haves for healthy relationships.

    Whether the relationship in question is with your partner (most important), your parent, sibling, or adult children, these three things must be present or you are going to have pain, distress, stress, and resentment. Not good ingredients for a relationship you want to stay in, right?

    If you cannot develop, grow, or deepen these three must-haves, or only one person in the relationship wants to, you have big things to think about and big decisions to make. You’ll especially have to think this through if you have children who are watching your relationship …and learning about who they are, how to have a relationship, and what it means to be a man or woman in one!

    These foundations underlie every conversation you are likely to have in and about your relationship, too. They are that basic.

    Yet, often, you’re so busy with the day-to-day incidents and must-do’s that they go unaddressed. Too big. Too pervasive. Maybe, too daunting to talk about?

    Want to know more about these three must-haves? Listen to/watch my podcast episode on the topic here.

    I hope you’ll see the value of considering your relationships in light of these relationship must-haves, and take the time to delve deeply into what is present in your relationship, what you’re enabling in your relationship, and what you’re settling for.

  • I give Dr. Shaler permission to send me email about my checklist, and other occasional information. I know I can unsubscribe anytime.*
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