Infertility and the churches response survey

Almost Always

NA I kept the pregnancy/loss to myself

With encourgment

With a meal train

Acknowledging the life lost publicly

Showing Empathy

avoiding the topic at all cost

Disclaimer:

I am not a student of any university; this is a study I am doing on my own, for my own information, with the hopes of putting this information into a book that will hopefully help people better deal with infertile couples that they deal with.

This survey asks about miscarriage but does not require you to answer any questions if that is triggering for you.

By answering this survey, you are giving me the right to compile and synthesize the data into book form to be published later.

Thank you for your time and participation.

Are you

At Church events when the topic of women's roles is discused how often did you:

Rows	Never	Rarely	Sometimes	Often	Almost Always
Heard that Mother hood is a woman's HIGHEST calling?
Heard that A Woman is saved Through Childbirth?
Heard that A Woman is Sanctified Through Motherhood?
Felt left out due to the number of kids you did or did not have?
Received unsolicited advice on how to get pregnant?
Been told to "just adopt"?
Were told you needed to have a quiver full of children?
Feel supported in your struggle
Felt understood

As a man, when the topic of gender roles came up, how often did you:

Rows	Never	Seldom	Sometimes	Often	Almost Always
feel judged for lack of children
Have your manhood questioned
Feel supported
Felt understood by others
feel the need to protect your wife from comments and looks
Hear that Fatherhood is your highest calling?
Hear that Fatherhood is how you are sanctified?
Told to just adopt
Told to have a quiverfull
Received unsolicited advice on how to get your wife pregnant

When the topic of Motherhood is discussed how much did you feel:

Rows	Never	Seldom	Sometimes	often	almost always
Encouraged
Shame
Content
Discouraged
Joyful
Sad
Guilt
Thankful
Angry
Hurt
Worthless
Seen
Accepted
Loved

When the topic of Fatherhood is discussed how much did you feel:

Rows	Never	Seldom	Sometimes	often	almost always
Encouraged
Shame
Content
Discouraged
Joyful
Sad
Guilt
Thankful
Angry
Hurt
Worthless
Seen
Accepted
Loved

How often is Adoption presented as:

Rows	Never	Seldom	Sometimes	Often	Almost Always
A requirement for you as a couple?
An Option to think about?
A way to have a biological child of your own? e.g. Someone I knew adopted and now they have X number of their own kids.
A wonderful option for those who want to adopt with the understanding that it is not something for everyone.

If you talked to others in the church about your Infertility Journey how did they respond?

Rows	Never	Seldom	Sometimes	Often	Almost Always	N/A I didn't talk to church people
By just listening
Offering HELPFUL advice
Offering unhelpful advice
In a judgmental way
In an encouraging way
Showing empathy
Changing the topic
Telling me about someone they knew that did X and now has Y kids
Making awkward jokes

If you talked to the Pastors/Elders/Deacons in the church about your Infertility Journey how did they respond?

Rows	Never	Seldom	Sometimes	Often	Almost Always	N/A I didn't talk to church leaders
In a helpful way?
Giving Biblical encouragement
Giving a Biblical Band-aid that showed little empathy
Judgmental
By giving up to date advice on ARTs
By giving advice on ARTs based on old, out of date information
Deer in headlights, they had no idea what to do or say
I'll pray for you

Did you use Advanced Reproductive Technology (e.g. IVF, IUI) to get pregnant?

How did the church respond to the use of ART?

How often did you feel the church

Rows	Never	Seldom	Sometimes	Often	Almost Always
Expected you do try everything to have a child?
Made having children a requirement for full acceptance?
Was supportive of you no matter the outcome of your journey?
Only wanted to hear your story after you had a child?
Judged you for a lack of faith/prayer life due to the lack of children?
allowed you the freedom to walk this journey without judgment for the choice you made?
Embraced your story no matter where you were, or the outcome?
Gave you the freedom to just be a couple with no children?

What did you appreciate that the church did for your during your infertility journey?

What do you wish the church had done for you?

What would you like Pastors/churches to know about how to deal with couples dealing with infertility?

Have you or your wife had a miscarriage?

Are you willing to go into a bit more detail about the churches response to your miscarriages?

Was your/wife's miscarriage/miscarriages:

How did the church respond to the miscarriage before 8 weeks?

How did the church respond to the miscarriage at 8-12 weeks?

How did the church respond to the miscarriage at 12-20 weeks?

How did the church respond to the still birth?

Rows	Never	Seldom	Sometimes	Often	Almost Always
With encourgment
With a meal train
Acknowledging the life lost publicly
Showing Empathy
Offered to do a memorial service

Was there anything that the church did that meant a lot after the miscarriage? if so what? Why did it mean so much?

Was there anything that the church did that was hurtful after the miscarriage? if so what? Why was it hurtful?

What would you like churches/pastors know about how to help couples dealing with a miscarriage?

What denomination do you/did you belong to?

What was your churches view on Gender roles

What was the political leanings of the church?

How Big was/is the church

Who controlled the church

What was/is the churches view on the end-times

Would you be willing to share you story with the person conducting this survey over zoom? (This would be recorded for further research)

Name

First NameLast Name

Email

example@example.com