• Results will be visible on screen after you click "Get My Results" and emailed to you with reference links. Your results are not saved.


  • About your "person in question".

    Please answer each item - as it relates to the person you are thinking of for this checklist - with the following choices : Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Often or Always
  • 1. They blame me for everything, even the weather.*
  • 2. They seemed to be my soulmate, my dream lover, and my “too good to be true” catch…at first.*
  • 3. They subtly or straight out insult me, shame me or put me down.*
  • 4. They are often moody, grouchy, or overly-sensitive.*
  • 5. They rely on me financially or spends well outside the budget.*
  • 6. They are constantly scrutinizing my behavior, my dress, my words.*
  • 7. They have little interest in what I'm thinking, feeling, needing, or wanting.*
  • 8. They want my full attention, and want me to give up friends or family.*
  • 9. They withhold appropriate contributions to household & living expenses.*
  • 10. They sometimes makes a fuss about things, and other times just let things go.*
  • 11. They use the children as pawns, messengers, and weapons to get what they want.*
  • 12. They tell me my feelings are wrong, unimportant, or trivial.*
  • 13. They react negatively in ways that are out of proportion to the issue on the table.*
  • 14. They use the past as a weapon, and regularly throw earlier events in my face, particularly as proof about why they are right.*
  • 15. They made me feel very sorry for them early in the relationship, and I've been trying to “make up for it” somehow ever since.*
  • 16. They were in a big hurry to move in together/get married/have kids, and I felt pressured, pushed, and wrong for wanting to slow things down.*
  • 17. They threaten to commit suicide or other dire things when I want to leave the relationship.*
  • 18. They are irresponsible, reckless, and inconsiderate much of the time.*
  • 19. They seem incapable of empathy, and when it DOES seem to be shown, it’s to manipulate me later.*
  • 20. They change their view: from loving me to hating me over small things.*
  • 21. They lie easily and frequently, even about small, inconsequential things as well as big things.*
  • 22. They need to know where I am and what I’m doing, constantly texting, calling, or checking up.*
  • 23. They showered me with affection, made me the center of their universe in the beginning.*
  • 24. They control every penny spent in the household.*
  • 25. They don't bother to control their mouth, temper, anger, or emotions in any way.*
  • 26. They don't like to compromise, and even when they do compromise, it is begrudging, and they it up often as proof that they are a reasonable person.*
  • 27. They make me question my sanity and my ability to remember what was said or done.*
  • 28. They have made the children withdraw from sharing thoughts, feelings or wants with them.*
  • 29. They show no remorse, concern or care for what they have done and how it affects me.*
  • 30. They either spend little time with the children, or coach the children to ignore me or disrespect me.*
  • 31. They are not in touch with their own feelings, or deny having them at all.*
  • 32. They are controlling, needing to have power over people and things.*
  • 33. They have no respect for people, feelings, rules, or the general good.*
  • 34. They manipulate situations and people for their own purposes and selfish gain.*
  • 35. They exploit people and situations to their own advantages.*
  • 36. They ignore the children, who are always trying to get their attention, love, or praise.*
  • 37. They seem to have no conscience or values, no clear idea of right and wrong.*
  • 38. They care deeply about what other people think, even while saying they don't care at all.*
  • 39. They compete with me about everything, and make my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, values, and opinions wrong.*
  • 40. They make me feel used, exhausted, worthless, incompetent, and/or crazy.*

  • It may take a few moments to calculate your results. Please only hit "get my results" once. If nothing happens within 15-20 seconds, please reload the page and try again. 

  • Should be Empty: