1. Introduction
As one of the people providing care for a Steiger Missionary or Staff Member, we want to be clear what our expectations of you are. There are different kinds of accountability, specifically for their ministry work and for them personally. You may or may not be responsible for people in their work situation but the focus of this document is on caring for our workers spiritually and emotionally.
If, after reading this document, you agree to provide the care outlined here to one of our missionaries or staff, you will be expected to sign and date your agreement at the end of this document.
2. Definition
By care we mean:
Giving watchful attention to or to be concerned about the feeding (spiritually and emotionally), well being and growth of our workers.
3. Criteria
The Missionary/Staff Member and Care Provider relationship is very important. We provide the following guidelines for the selection of a Care Provider. They should be:
● The same gender
● Preferably speak your native language. It can work fine if they both are fluent in another language e.g. English
● If Missionary/Staff Member are married then the Care Provider should also be married
● The Care Provider should be older
● There should not be a conflict of interest
● Not a family member
● Not a Steiger Board Member
● Not a significant/key donor to the general Steiger mission
4. Responsibilities - General
Your care responsibilities will be to:
● Meet regularly (ideally at least monthly) with any Steiger worker you are responsible for - to ask how they are doing personally, spiritually, emotionally, financially, etc and how their ministry/work is going (of course you may meet more often if the need or desire is there).
● Pray for each person during your meeting as well as regularly each week/month.
● Be especially sensitive to those who are serving cross-culturally, asking appropriate questions to help them adjust (see examples below).
● Make sure they are committed to and active in a local church/fellowship.
● If they are serving cross-culturally, regularly check on what kind of contact they have with their sending church.
● Ask how their relationship is with God. Are they regularly spending time with Him? Are they dealing with sin, attitudes and anything else God highlights? How is their personal purity?
● Ask about their relationships with others? This would include their spouse, friends, fellow team members, leadership, etc
● Give them resources to help them (like books, articles, activities to do).
5. Conflict Resolution
We acknowledge that since Steiger is made up of imperfect people, there will sometimes be conflict. Conflict is an inevitable reality of our fallen world. The key is dealing with it well - with grace, humility and honoring God.
All Steiger Workers have signed a covenant which outlines the process below for dealing with conflict. As their Care Provider, we would expect you to reinforce this process and ensure the missionary works through any conflict they have, with this in mind.
a. Process for resolving conflict within Steiger:
It’s important to take the Matthew 18:15-17 approach to conflict resolution, starting with these seven steps to resolving conflict:
1. If there is conflict (do not be easily offended. i.e let trivial things go)
2. You (no third parties)
3. Go (as soon as possible)
4. To the person (no gossip)
5. In private
6. And discuss the problem (be specific and direct)
7. For the purpose of reconciliation (forgive easily)
If, AFTER this process, the conflict is not resolved, then the Worker may bring in a mutually trusted person who is not involved in the conflict and address the issue together for the purpose of resolution and reconciliation.
If this still does not bring resolution, the Worker is to bring it before their City or International Team Leader or where necessary, their Regional Leader to be resolved.
b. Conflict with Leadership
If the Worker has conflict with one of their leaders, they should follow the conflict resolution approach described above. If reconciliation is not achieved or if they don’t feel they are able to address the issue alone, they can bring in a peer of their leader and address the issue TOGETHER for the purpose of resolution and reconciliation.
Other options include an external trusted mediator approved by both parties, and having the International Missionary Care Manager involved.
6. Purity and Holiness
a. General
One of the core values in Steiger is holiness. Personal holiness is essential for our missionaries to continue to be effective in ministry. We live in a highly sexualised culture where, for example, porn is easily accessible on any phone or computer - it is only one click away. This is a serious issue so questions regarding personal purity need to be asked regularly. This includes:
● Viewing of pornography
● Inappropriate fantasies
● Emotional affair
Specific and direct questions need to be asked such as:
● Have you looked at anything you shouldn’t in the past week/month?
● Do you have any intrusive sexual thoughts about people other than your spouse?
● Have you acted appropriately around your team members and others in your life?
Note: These questions need to be asked for both married and single individuals. See the Resource Section for more suggested questions
b. Internet Accountability
It is highly recommended that all our Missionaries and Staff have accountability software on all their devices. This software will send a report of any inappropriate websites the missionary may have visited during that week. The regular reports should be sent to you as their Pastoral Care person. Naturally, it is important that you do not click on any possible inappropriate links (as this just proliferates the issue), but should ask the Missionary to explain why they were visiting this site.
c. Escalation
If you find there is an ongoing issue regarding the purity of a missionary, then action will need to be taken - see section 7 “Escalation”. For addiction to porn refer also to HR02 “Policy on Helping People be Free From Pornography”
7. Escalation
a. General
Confidentiality is essential as someone providing care. However, there are at times, particular situations or issues that the Worker's leader might need to know about, mainly in the area of moral failure, significant purity issues, serious psychological issues, when their safety is at stake or when they are really struggling. In every instance, you need to discuss this with the worker BEFORE escalating it further and give them the opportunity to talk with their Leader and be honest about their situation.
If, after a reasonable amount of time (this will be different depending on the urgency of the issue), they still have not been honest with their leader, then you - as their care provider - need to organize a time with their leader with the worker present to encourage them to discuss the matter (you, the Steiegr worker and their leader). The entire reason this may be done is to help provide the worker with the support, help and care that they need.
b. Illegal Activity
Should the missionary be engaging in any illegal activity, then the confidentiality of this relationship and the information passed onto you as their pastoral career does not apply. This means that you are obligated to report this activity immediately to their Leader, who will determine what should happen next.
If you are not happy with the actions of their Leader in this matter, you can escalate it to the International Missionary Care Manager (contact details are at the bottom of this document).
8. Expectations
We DO NOT expect you to counsel someone. All of us go through difficult times, but if someone is struggling with something that is long-term or causes them not to be able to function in ministry they may need to get other help. In areas where deeper counsel, inner healing, deliverance, debriefing etc. is needed the Worker should be refered to a trained professional. Areas such as eating disorders, sexual abuse, addictions, marital break-down, etc. will need more than we expect you to provide.
If a referral is needed then the Worker should contact their Regional Missionary Care Coordinator. This person has a list of recommended specialists.
9. Annual Review Form
Once a year you will receive a survey in connection with the Annual Missionary or Staff Review. This is a very short review of their care just so that we have some sort of feedback from you as to how you feel our people are doing. We will not ask for specifics (nor should you provide them). But we do want to know if - in your opinion - the worker is doing OK and if you are happy with the support you are providing them.
10. Resources
Ideas of Regular Questions to Ask:
a. How is your relationship with God?
- How have you connected with God this month?
- What has God been speaking to you about this month?
- Do you feel like you are growing in God?
- What have you read in the Bible in the past week?
- What specific things are you praying for in regard to others? to yourself?
b. What are the specific tasks you are facing right now that you are struggling with?
c. What general reading are you doing? What are you reading about in the news/press?
d. How is your relationship with your husband/wife or girlfriend/boyfriend?
- What have you done this month to spend time together?
- Have you had any major conflict this month?
- What do you appreciate about your husband/wife or girlfriend/boyfriend?
- How is the rest of your family? (This could include parents, siblings, grandparent, etc)
- How are you doing with your kids?
- If I were to ask your spouse about your state of mind, spiritual state, state of energy level, what would the response be?
e. Are you sensing spiritual attacks from the enemy right now?
f. If satan were to try to attack you, how would he do it?
g. What is the state of your sexual perspective? Tempted? Dealing with fantasies? Entertainment?
h. Where are you financially right now? (Things under control? Under anxiety? In great debt?)
i. Are there any unresolved conflicts in your circle of relationships right now?
j. When was the last time you spent time with a good friend of your own gender?
k. What kind of time have you spent with anyone who is a non-Christian this month?
l. What challenges do you think you are going to face in the coming week?Month?
m. What would you say are your fears at this present time?
n. Do you feel like you are getting enough rest? Are you sleeping well?
o. What three things are you most thankful for?
p. Do you like yourself at this point in your journey?
q. What are your greatest confusions about your relationship with God?
r. How is it going with your team? your leader?
s. What have you done for fun this month?
Some Possible Questions for Cross-Cultural Missionaries
a. How are they adjusting to being in another country?
b. Have they begun to set up a new life in their new country? Friends, a home (place where they can feel settled and strong to go out from), a church (a sense of a family in their new situation), financially set up enough so they can function (afford what they need, food, housing, insurance for when they get sick, money to do something fun (at least to go and get a cup of coffee every once in a while.)
c. Where are they at in the process of learning the language? How is it going?
d. Do they have someone they can talk to when they need encouragement? Ideally, it would be someone they can talk to in their own language.
e. Are they handling all the changes, adjustments emotionally? Are they hanging on to their home country in a way that makes it hard to adjust to the new country? How do they feel about their new country? Are they always allowing themselves to compare it to back home?
f. Do they have the support of family back home? Is the family behind them being in the new country? Do they have good communication with them?
g. Do they have a good support family/church behind them back at home who prays for them, supports them financially, writes to them?
h. Are they clear on their task in the new country and set up to accomplish what they are supposed to do? (It helps in the adjustment of being there if they can direct their energy into actually doing what they are called to do rather than having too much time to think about home and what they have left.)
i. Are they developing coping skills for when they are having a hard time? Are they getting outside and going for a walk? Are they developing the ability to shut down the emotions and get the rest they need, or forget about everything for a while (do something fun, read a good book that has nothing to do with ministry, etc.)?
j. Are they willing to accept that people are not going to be the same as they are at home? Do they understand that often they are the one who will need to change and adjust not everyone else?
k. What cultural challenges are they struggling with at the moment?
l. What are things they like about the culture? (to help them to not just focus on the negative - easy to do in a new culture)
m. Have they read any books on the culture they are in?
n. Connect them with someone who has done or is doing cross-cultural missions - there are a few of us to choose from.
If you have any questions about our expectations from you as a missionary care provider, or if you would like to discuss them further, please contact Steiger HR (hr@steiger.org). If we cannot answer your question, we will put you in contact with the right person who can.
If you would like to talk with the International Missionary Care Manager, here are the details:
Bryce Gilmor, bryce.gilmor@steiger.org, +1 612 2322706