Attachment Assessment Form

Attachment Style Assessment

This Attachment Assessment is designed to illuminate your attachment style tendencies so you can become more aware of your current connection patterns and then heal toward more secure bonding. It is not intended merely to label you as a fixed identity.

You can expect for this assessment to take about 10 minutes to complete.

Please enter your name and email address below to receive your full results and save them for your records.

Attachment Assessment

While your attachment can impact all of your relationships and sometimes fluctuate slightly depending on the attachment style of who you are relating with, this assessment is desigend to gauge your overall bonding tendencies in romantic partnership.

For each statement, please move the slider bar to correspond with the number on a scale of 0-10 that best represents how true the statement is for you with your current romantic partner (if together more than 10 years) or in the context of your past 3 romantic relationship partners.

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Relying On Each Other
I am able to trust and rely on my romantic partner.
My romantic partner(s) know through experience that they can trust and rely on me.
I trust that my partner will usually be emotionally available and respond positively when I reach for connection.
secure1_relying

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Connection
I feel comfortable disclosing my inner world and feeling open, emotionally close and connected to my romantic partner.
I am able to reach for connection through touch, eye contact, conversation and reassurance when I want to connect and in times of distress.
I am able to sense my partner’s reaches for connection and positively respond with touch, eye contact, reassurance and availability.
secure2_connection

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Secure Solo & Together
I do not fear commitment, being smothered or the loss of freedom by being in romantic relationship.
I enjoy being open, close and connected when we are together and feel secure when we are apart for periods of independent solitude.
I can feel securely connected to my partner, while still being individuated and free without having to get away, merging, or sacrificing my life (values, work, hobbies, friends, health, spiritual practice, etc.)
secure3_secureSolo

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Secure Relationship
I believe in and tend to have relatively loving, satisfying and enduring romantic relationships.
I feel secure in our bond, know we love each other and do not worry about being abandoned or rejected.
Our relationship feels like a secure base that allows me to both be independent in pursuing my personal passions and career success in the world as well as deeply connected when together.
secure4_secureRelation

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Worry
I spend a lot of time and energy worrying about my romantic relationship.
I worry whether my partner really loves me or values me as much as I do.
I worry about being rejected, abandoned or not loved.
anxsious1_worry

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Closeness
I want to be in constant proximity and communication with my romantic partner.
I have difficulty being alone.
I can be clingy and overly dependent on my partner.
anxsious2_closeness

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Attention
I can feel frustrated, sad and alone when my partner is not around or giving me the attention that I need.
I worry about getting the level of attention and connection that I need from my partner.
I frequently crave and seek attention, connection and confirmation that I am loved.
anxsious3_attention

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Self-Esteem
I struggle with low self-esteem and feeling not good enough.
I seek approval and reassurance from other’s and can be overly pleasing.
I tend to view others positively, but can be insecure and self-critical with myself.
anxsious4_selfsteem

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Ambivalence
I have mixed feelings about connection: both fears of being abandoned and struggles with being too close.
I feel confused about connection and conflicted about what I want. I tend to be either ambivalently "half in" relationship or avoid close connection altogether.
If I am in a relationship, I can feel hesitant, doubtful or conflicted about it.
ambivalent1_selfsteem

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Bonding Can Be Unsafe
I fear being harmed, rejected or abandoned, so I maintain a certain emotional distance with others.
It seems like the person I want to go towards for safety could be the same person that hurts or tries to control me.
As a kid I felt afraid, unsafe, or harmed so I learned to detach from feelings or limit emotional closeness to prevent getting hurt.
ambivalent2_bonding

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Emotionally Closed
I invest little emotional energy in social and romantic relationships.
I feel reluctant to emotionally open up to others.
I am unable or unwilling to communicate my deeper feelings.
ambivalent3_emotionallyClosed

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Misaligned
When I am in close proximity to someone I don’t want to get too close, but I also don’t want them to go away, so I never feel at ease with connection.
Romantic relationship is not easy for me, I either avoid close connection altogether or if I am in a relationship I tend to me kind of ambivalently “half in”.
My life does not feel balanced and I often feel like my timing is off.
ambivalent4_misaligned

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Hyper-independence
I prefer to not need or depend on others, nor have others depend on me.
Whether I am in romantic relationship or not, I can be fine on my own.
I highly value freedom, independence and self-reliance, and have learned it is better to take care of my own needs, so that I don’t have to rely on others.
avoidant1_hyper

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Avoidance of Emotion / Vulnerability
I am uncomfortable being vulnerable and disclosing my inner thoughts and feelings.
I am uncomfortable with emotions in myself or my partner.
I am able to protect my vulnerability and too much connection by hiding my feelings, shutting down emotionally or stifling other's emotions.
avoidant2_fear

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Fear of Commitment / Losing Freedom
I have a fear of commitment and really being fully “in” relationship.
I hate being controlled and connection can feel smothering or it can have me feel like I need to get away to get relief and maintain my freedom.
I can easily detach from people emotionally and I am usually the one who ends a relationship. I don’t let myself be committed, so I do not fear being abandoned.
avoidant3_fearOfLosing

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Difficulty Trusting
I highly value freedom, independence and self-reliance, and have learned it is better to take care of my own needs, so that I don’t have to rely on others.
I prefer to not need or depend on others, nor have others depend on me.
Deep down, I don’t know if I could really trust someone to let them all the way into my heart.
avoidant5_diffTrusting

Attachment Assessment

0 = very false	6 = somewhat true
2 = false	8 = true
4 = somewhat false	10 = very true
5 = neutral

Limiting Closeness
I tend to subtly avoid emotional closeness or limit prolonged connection.
When my partner is needy or tries to get too close, I find myself repulsed, pulling away or maintaining some distance.
I tend to feel relief in the space just after parting from being in close proximity with someone or initially after ending a relationship.
avoidant4_limiting

SECURE TOTAL
ANXIOUS TOTAL
AMBIVALENT TOTAL
AVOIDANT TOTAL
secure_outcome
anxious_outcome
ambivalent_outcome
avoidant_outcome
OUTCOME
highest_score
Attachment Style Results
Based upon assessment results, you might have a tendency towards a{secure_outcome}{anxious_outcome}{ambivalent_outcome}{avoidant_outcome} attachment style.

Attachment Assessment
Contact Details
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Should be Empty:

Relying On Each Other

Connection

Secure Solo & Together

Secure Relationship

Worry

Closeness

Attention

Self-Esteem

Ambivalence

Bonding Can Be Unsafe

Emotionally Closed

Misaligned

Hyper-independence

Avoidance of Emotion / Vulnerability

Fear of Commitment / Losing Freedom

Difficulty Trusting

Limiting Closeness

Attachment Style Results

Contact Details