Definition: Blame (Includes Negative Blame = ‘Thankfulness’)
| ‘Blame’ |
When Subject 1 does not like making the Effort and holds Subject 2 responsible for his Effort (past, present or future), it is called Blame. |
Blame, used in relation to the theory, includes negative Blame, which is equivalent to Thankfulness.
Thankfulness is when Subject 1, instead of blaming Subject 2, for the Effort, is Thankful to Subject 2, for making the Effort to Subject 1, or for letting Subject 1 make Effort for Subject 2.
Additional Clarifications:
- Definition of Blame - "To say or think that someone or something did something wrong or is responsible for something bad happening." (Cambridge dictionary). The definition of Blame under the Unified Theory of Emotions is the same as the dictionary meaning, except that ‘something bad happening’ is the Effort made by Subject 1. It could be Effort that Subject 1 fears will have to be taken by Subject 1 because of Subject 2.
- Another noteworthy point is that Subject 1 has three states of thought towards Subject 2 because of whom he must make Effort.
(i) Blame - When Subject 1 thinks Subject 2 is responsible for his Effort, he is blaming Subject 2.
Examples of Blame for the Effort made for Subject 2:
• Blaming a spouse for not earning enough to support the current lifestyle.
• Blaming a friend who requests bringing a packet from his aunt in flight from a foreign country, shouting at someone indulging in public nuisance and
• Talking behind someone's back to harm him.
(ii) No Blame - When Subject 1 does not think or does not care that Subject 2 is responsible for his Effort, he is not blaming Subject 2.
Examples of No Blame will include – Making 'reasonable' Effortfor someone, passing on the salt, when another diner requests, following traffic rules. Here Subject 1 neither Blames nor is Thankful to Subject 2 for the Effort.
(iii) Thankfulness – It is defined below.
Definition of Thankfulness
| ‘Thankfulness’ |
When, instead of Blaming Subject 2 for the Effort, Subject 1 is Thankful to Subject 2 for the opportunity to make the Effort for Subject 2, it is called ‘Thankfulness.’ |
Subject 1 can experience Thankfulness towards Subject 2 for the Effort, due to:
• the nature of the Effort, or,
• the nature of the Subject 2 or,
• the nature of his relationship with Subject 2.
An Example of Thankfulness for Effort:– A mother is almost always Thankful to her child for all the Effort she makes for the child before and after birth. The amount of Effort is almost the maximum possible. However, the amount of Thankfulness to the child for the Effort is also almost the maximum. Another example would be doing things for someone Subject 1 holds in very high esteem or considers his idol. Subject 1 will be Thankful to Subject 2 for allowing him to make the Effort. For example, a devotee is Thankful to his God for the Effort he is making for his God. The Effort may include doing daily prayers, going to shrines, and doing other things specified in his religion.
It is important to note that often, Subject 1 would not even be ready to call all that he does for/because of Subject 2 as 'Effort.' At times, Subject 1 may get offended to hear that he is making 'Effort' for someone he holds so dear in his heart. Subject 1 would instead call what he does as 'duty,' 'care,' 'natural,' 'humble contribution' & the like. Subject 1 is often a mother, a devout person, someone trying to repay his dues or someone with a deep sense of duty. A couple of examples are. Let’s say Subject 2 had helped Subject 1 when Subject 1 was in deep Trouble, and no one else was helping, or Subject 1 is a staunch sect/cult member. Subject 1, in these examples, would not want to call all that he does and all the efforts he does as his ‘Effort.’ But, as you are aware, 'Effort' is just the name I have given to represent what I want to convey through a specific definition of the term. The term does not represent its dictionary meaning.
So there can be 3 mental states of Subject 1 towards Subject 2.
1. Blame,
2. No Blame, or
3. Thankfulness.
BENCHMARKS or Levels of ‘Blame’ and ‘Thankfulness’:
Levels of ‘Blame’
When the Subject 1 does not Blame Subject 2 for the Effort – The score is +1
When Subject 1 Blames Subject 2 – The score can go from -1 to -10 depending upon how much Subject 1 Blames Subject 2.
A Blame score of -10 will occur when Subject 1 believes that:
Subject 2 has given, is giving or will give him substantial, undesirable, unnecessary Effort, repeatedly Subject 2 should have known fully well that Subject 1 does not like to take such Effort.
Blame score of -2 to -9 will occur considering the how strongly Subject 1 Blames subject 2
Levels of ‘Thankfulness’:
When Subject 1, instead of Blaming Subject 2 for the Effort, feel Thankful to Subject 2 for being there, the Thankfulness score is +2
When Subject 1 feels more Thankful towards Subject 2 for the Effort Subject 1 makes, Thankfulness score can go higher from +3 to +10
Benchmark for Thankfulness Score:
A Thankfulness score of 10 only occurs in one human relation. That is the amount of Thankfulness a mother feels towards her child, although she makes the most amount of Effort possible for any human being. This is even more true when it is the first, healthy child as wanted by the mother.
Despite making the most Effort for her child, the child is innocent and gives the motherhood to the mother. Therefore, she feels the highest level of Thankfulness towards her child.
Thankfulness score of 3 to 9 will occur considering the how strongly Subject 1 feels Thankful towards subject 2 for being there.
Chose a score of +10 if the level of Thankfulness of Subject 1 towards Subject 2 is as strong as the mother for her baby. In other situations, choose a lower number.