A Living Well

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A Living Well

By Lawrence E. Adjah

An Exercise, Document & Movement to Care for One Another Well, When Life is Not Going So Well.

A practical way to ensure your loved ones know how to best show up for you when you need them the most.

(Approximately 15 Minutes to Complete)

Instructions to Begin

Take time to reflect on what you would need from your loved ones if you were experiencing a crisis like the loss of a loved one. What would you hope for, from your friends, specifically.

Reflect on your 3-5 closest friendships/relationships and write them down.

Reflect on the types of crises you would want care for and the ways you would want to know you were well covered by friends and family, if, God forbid, any of these things happened.

Reflect on who you would want to be everyone’s point of contact, from your friends, who you would be comfortable communicating on your behalf, if required.

Friend responsible for communicating with my broader community as referenced in the excel document with my primary community’s names and email addresses. [He/She] will share updates and relevant information in real-time (e.g., status updates, arrangements, hospital information, etc.) as well as serve as one of two points of contact. [He/She] is also the contact with access to my social media passwords in the case any communications needs to be shared via social media on my behalf

Reflect on who you would want to be everyone’s point of contact, from your immediate family.

To prepare you will need to create an excel document with your core relationships. Imagine you had to plan a wedding today and you had no constraints on capacity, yet you wanted to invite people who are part of your lifelong “village” – you need to put the full name and email address in an excel document for you to share with your communications lead

Reflect on who, in your life, outside of your family, would be comfortable, coordinating care in the form of meals over a duration of time, if you needed it.

Reflect on who you would feel comfortable giving access to your home, in case of emergency (key)

Reflect on who you would feel comfortable having real-time access of your location via phone

Ask yourself if you would be willing to commit to showing up in the same way, for those you are asking for support from if (hopefully) they decide to do "A Living Well" too.

Prepare to Have Individual Conversations with Everyone Within Your Core 3-5 Relationships, including those you plan to designate in specific roles.

Ensure all who agree, receive a copy they can save for reference.

Strongly recommend conversations (especially for points of contact) before any electronic communication.

(If completing this now)

Sample Communication Templates for Conversation or Brief Correspondence (Below)

Hey! Quick Heads Up I’m about to send you something important I need you to save and keep. I know this isn't a topic we like to think about, but life is difficult and the last thing I want to happen is if you or I are going through a crisis, that there would be any questions about how best to tangibly support each other.

I've been lucky to have you as a friend, and I know you'd do anything to help me if I ever needed you. But even in the best relationships, we may fall short without clearly sharing what we may need.

So, I created "A Living Well" (like a non-medical Living Will), which includes important personal information about me, my family, other key relationships you should know about, as well as key points of contact, who will communicate with my village community during a crisis, what I would consider a crisis and what I’m hoping I can prayerfully rely upon you for during that time.

Since lots of people are doing this, I hope you'll be down with showing up for me in this way, but also consider creating your own Living Well too, so we can both know how to help each other in times of need.
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Your Full Name* This field is required.
First Name
Last Name
3
Your Email Address* This field is required.
example@example.com
Confirm Email
4
Your Address
Street Address
Street Address Line 2
City
State / Province
Postal / Zip Code
Please Select
Please Select
Afghanistan
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Algeria
American Samoa
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Angola
Anguilla
Antigua and Barbuda
Argentina
Armenia
Aruba
Australia
Austria
Azerbaijan
The Bahamas
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Cayman Islands
Central African Republic
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Chile
China
Christmas Island
Cocos (Keeling) Islands
Colombia
Comoros
Congo
Cook Islands
Costa Rica
Cote d'Ivoire
Croatia
Cuba
Curaçao
Cyprus
Czech Republic
Democratic Republic of the Congo
Denmark
Djibouti
Dominica
Dominican Republic
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Egypt
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Faroe Islands
Fiji
Finland
France
French Polynesia
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The Gambia
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North Korea
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Kosovo
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Laos
Latvia
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Lesotho
Liberia
Libya
Liechtenstein
Lithuania
Luxembourg
Macau
Macedonia
Madagascar
Malawi
Malaysia
Maldives
Mali
Malta
Marshall Islands
Martinique
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Mauritius
Mayotte
Mexico
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Moldova
Monaco
Mongolia
Montenegro
Montserrat
Morocco
Mozambique
Myanmar
Nagorno-Karabakh
Namibia
Nauru
Nepal
Netherlands
Netherlands Antilles
New Caledonia
New Zealand
Nicaragua
Niger
Nigeria
Niue
Norfolk Island
Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus
Northern Mariana
Norway
Oman
Pakistan
Palau
Palestine
Panama
Papua New Guinea
Paraguay
Peru
Philippines
Pitcairn Islands
Poland
Portugal
Puerto Rico
Qatar
Republic of the Congo
Romania
Russia
Rwanda
Saint Barthelemy
Saint Helena
Saint Kitts and Nevis
Saint Lucia
Saint Martin
Saint Pierre and Miquelon
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
Samoa
San Marino
Sao Tome and Principe
Saudi Arabia
Senegal
Serbia
Seychelles
Sierra Leone
Singapore
Slovakia
Slovenia
Solomon Islands
Somalia
Somaliland
South Africa
South Ossetia
South Sudan
Spain
Sri Lanka
Sudan
Suriname
Svalbard
eSwatini
Sweden
Switzerland
Syria
Taiwan
Tajikistan
Tanzania
Thailand
Timor-Leste
Togo
Tokelau
Tonga
Transnistria Pridnestrovie
Trinidad and Tobago
Tristan da Cunha
Tunisia
Turkey
Turkmenistan
Turks and Caicos Islands
Tuvalu
Uganda
Ukraine
United Arab Emirates
United Kingdom
United States
Uruguay
Uzbekistan
Vanuatu
Vatican City
Venezuela
Vietnam
British Virgin Islands
Isle of Man
US Virgin Islands
Wallis and Futuna
Western Sahara
Yemen
Zambia
Zimbabwe
Other
Country
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Your Phone #* This field is required.
Please enter a valid phone number.
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Your Birthday* This field is required.
Date
Year
Month
Day
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(1)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Birthday     Email
Street Address     Address Line 2     City     State     Zip
(2)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Birthday     Email
Street Address     Address Line 2     City     State     Zip
(3)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Birthday     Email
Street Address     Address Line 2     City     State     Zip

(4)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Birthday     Email
Street Address     Address Line 2     City     State     Zip

(5)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Birthday     Email
Street Address     Address Line 2     City     State     Zip
8
Are You Married?* This field is required.So your village can reach out to / directly support your significant other as a village should.
YESNO
9
Your Spouse's Information
First Name * Last Name * Area Code * Phone Number * Email * Birthday *
10
Do You Have Children* This field is required.So your village can reach out to / directly support your children as a village should.
YESNO
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Your Children's Information
(1)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number    Birthday

(2)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number     Birthday

(3)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number     Birthday

(4)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number     Birthday

(5)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number     Birthday

(6)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number     Birthday

(7)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number     Birthday
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Your Parent's Information

Father
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Birthday     Email
Street Address     Address Line 2     City     State     Zip

Mother
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Birthday     Email
Street Address     Address Line 2     City     State     Zip
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Your Siblings' Information

(1)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Birthday     Email
Street Address     Address Line 2     City     State     Zip

(2)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Birthday     Email
Street Address     Address Line 2     City     State     Zip

(3)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Birthday     Email
Street Address     Address Line 2     City     State     Zip

(4)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Birthday     Email
Street Address     Address Line 2     City     State     Zip

(5)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Birthday     Email
Street Address     Address Line 2     City     State     Zip

(6)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Birthday     Email
Street Address     Address Line 2     City     State     Zip

(7)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Birthday     Email
Street Address     Address Line 2     City     State     Zip
14
Your Pastor / Spiritual Counsel's Information

First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Email
15
Your Prayer Group / Friends Who Regularly Pray for You

(1)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Email
City     State

(2)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number      Email
City     State

(3)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Email
City     State

(4)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Email
City     State

(5)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Email
City     State
16
Friend / Family Member(s) with Home Access (Additional Key to Home)

(1)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Email
City     State

(2)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number      Email
City     State
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Friend / Family Member(s) with Personal Location (Access)
(Real-Time Location Sharing on Mobile Phone)

(1)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Email
City     State

(2)
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number      Email
City     State
18
Friend and/or Family Member(s) Who Would Take Lead on Communicating to All (Friends/Family/Colleagues/Broader Community) on My Behalf in Time of Crisis (If Applicable - one with access to list)

(1) Friend
First Name *     Last Name *
Area Code *     Phone Number *
Email *
City *     State *

(2) Family Member

First Name *     Last Name *
Area Code *     Phone Number *
Email *
City *     State *
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Friend / Family Member(s) Who Would Take Lead on Coordinating Meals/Meal Train Setup
mealtrain.com

(1) Friend
First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Email
City     State
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My Workplace Primary Contact
(if/when applicable - to update them in case of crisis)

First Name     Last Name
Area Code     Phone Number
Email
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Categories of Crises Included* This field is required.Crisis Categories in the Living Well, Checked Off or Written
Death or Major Illness of a Loved One as Defined By a Loss of Any Member of My Immediate Family, Spouse and/or Children (God Forbid)
Death or Major Illness of a Loved One as Defined By a Loss of Any Close Friend (In Addressed and Shared With Section) (God Forbid)
A Personal Medical Crisis, Including Major Illness / Physical Incapacitation (God Forbid)
Other
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Categories of Crisis: Other (Continued)(If Applicable) If there are other categories you would like to outline in your living well
Huge
Large
Normal
Small
Ok
Ok
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Specific Expectations/Needs During Crises (Death / Major Illness of a Loved One)* This field is required.Prayerful expectations of (mutual) care
Attendance at the Funeral Service (If Applicable)
A visit within 90 days after the funeral (if Applicable)
A weekly check-in call for the first month (30 days) after the crisis
If needed and possible, the ability to visit and stay 1-2 weeks for grieving (all I'll need is a place to sleep, disconnect and grieve)
Contacting my community with relevant information for services and care (Lead)
Contacting Pastor/Spiritual Care immediately (Lead)
Contacting Prayer Group immediately (Lead)
Contacting 3 Closest Friends (Even if in group chat, reaching out to them individually)
If I'm home, for the first 2 weeks - month post funeral, coordination of meals by meal train lead
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Specific Expectations/Needs During Crises (A Personal Medical Crisis, Including Major Illness / Incapacitation)* This field is required.Prayerful expectations of (mutual) care
A call within the day you learn about the crisis
A visit within the first week of learning about the crisis
A weekly check-in call for the first month (30 days) after the crisis
Contacting Pastor/Spiritual Care immediately (Communications Lead)
Contacting Prayer Group immediately (Communications Lead)
Contacting 3 Closest Friends (Even if in group chat, reaching out to them individually)
Sending Broader Communications to Village by Discretion of Family / Communications Lead
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Dietary Restriction
Dairy/Milk Allergy
Egg Allergy
Shellfish Allergy
Peanut / Tree Nut Allergy
Gluten Allergy
Vegetarian
Pescatarian
Vegan
Other
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Favorite Meal (Dinner)
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Favorite Dessert
28
Favorite Local Restaurant
29
Favorite Fast Food
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Favorite Snack Food
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