Couple's Compatibility Assessment

Couple's Compatibility Assessment
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This assessment is designed to help you and your partner gain deeper insight into your relationship’s strengths and problem areas. By choosing to begin couples therapy, you’ve already taken an important step toward building a healthier, stronger connection. Your responses here will help guide our work together and create a clear roadmap for meaningful conversation, healing, and growth.

The assessment is divided into six sections, each focused on a different aspect of relationship health. Your responses will help us quickly identify key themes and areas of focus for your counseling sessions. While it typically takes about 20 minutes to complete, you are encouraged to take your time and answer thoughtfully and honestly. There are no right or wrong answers — only your truth!
Part I: Values and Lifestyle Alignment

Shared values and compatible lifestyles make the daily grind and major life decisions easier to navigate. This section looks at alignment in areas like core beliefs, goals, family dynamics, spirituality, and routines.

Rate your agreement with each statement based on how you experience the relationship.

	Strongly Agree	Agree	Unsure	Disagree	Strongly Disagree
We share similar values about family, career, and lifestyle priorities.
We have compatible goals for the future (e.g., marriage, children, financial stability).
Our views on spirituality or religion are aligned or respectfully navigated.
We enjoy similar activities, hobbies, or life experiences that strengthen our bond.
We agree on how to manage finances, spending, and saving.
We have similar expectations around roles and responsibilities (e.g., household chores, caregiving)
Our definitions of success, happiness, and fulfillment are similar or complement each other.
We make space for each other’s friendships, interests, and outside passions without it feeling like a threat.
I feel respected even when my partner and I have different opinions or values.
We approach major life decisions (such as relocation, career changes) through open discussion and mutual agreement.

Part VI: Personal Reflections and Relationship Vision

Beyond compatibility, relationships thrive when partners stay intentional about growth, self-awareness, and shared goals. This section invites deeper reflection on each individual’s contributions, needs, hopes, and vision for the future. Honest answers here can uncover hidden strengths, unmet needs, and dreams that deserve more attention.
In what ways do you help the relationship to grow and thrive?
What are some of the things you'd like to improve on as a partner? Be specific.
What support do you need from your partner to feel whole in this relationship?
What is one thing you wish your partner better understood about you or your experience?
Should be Empty:

	Strongly Agree	Agree	Unsure	Disagree	Strongly Disagree
I feel emotionally safe expressing my true feelings to my partner.
My partner shows empathy and compassion when I am struggling.
We trust each other to be honest, even when conversations are difficult.
I feel like my partner lets me in emotionally rather than keeping me at a distance.
We maintain emotional connection even during busy or stressful times.
It takes a long time for one or both of us to move past conflict and feel emotionally close again.
We are comfortable being vulnerable with one another.
We revisit past arguments repeatedly without ever fully resolving them.
We are able to reconnect after conflict without resentment lingering.
Sometimes I feel like my partner dismisses or invalidates my emotions.
My partner can usually tell when something is wrong, even if I haven’t said anything yet.
When I’m stressed or overwhelmed, I tend to become more irritable, distant, or less emotionally available to my partner.
My partner and I both struggle to regulate our emotions during conflict.
Both of us are willing to apologize and take responsibility when we hurt each other.
We sometimes go long periods without speaking or showing affection after an argument.

	Strongly Agree	Agree	Unsure	Disagree	Strongly Disagree
We communicate openly and honestly, even when it’s uncomfortable.
I feel heard and understood during conversations with my partner.
We take accountability for our actions during or after conflict.
We can disagree without resorting to insults, blame, or shutting down.
Conversations between us frequently turn into arguments.
My partner becomes defensive or shuts down when I express dissatisfaction or ask for change.
My partner and I frequently misinterpret each other’s words or intentions.
Our arguments often escalate quickly rather than staying civil.
I raise my voice or use harsh language when I feel unheard or frustrated.
My partner listens attentively and without interrupting when I speak.
We know how to de-escalate arguments once they start getting heated.
When upset, I sometimes use sarcasm, guilt, or silent treatment instead of addressing the issue directly.
I feel like I have to tread carefully when giving my partner feedback to avoid conflict.
My partner believes that being direct is important, but I sometimes find their tone too abrasive.
We can usually find common ground and reach a compromise during conflicts.

	Strongly Agree	Agree	Unsure	Disagree	Strongly Disagree
Physical affection (like hugs, kisses, and touch) feels natural and mutual between us.
We are generally satisfied with our sexual relationship.
Our levels of sexual desire are generally compatible.
We are able to navigate differences in sexual desire without resentment, pressure, or rejection.
We are open to exploring new intimate acts together without judgment or shame.
I feel comfortable giving my partner feedback about what I enjoy (or don’t enjoy) during physical intimacy without guilt or fear of hurting their feelings.
We can enjoy emotional and physical closeness without it always needing to lead to sexual activity.
We both feel safe, respected, and emotionally connected during physical intimacy.
Sexual intimacy feels like a meaningful and enjoyable part of our relationship, not an obligation or point of stress.
I'm open to our physical intimacy evolving over time.

	Strongly Agree	Agree	Unsure	Disagree	Strongly Disagree
We talk openly about our long-term hopes and plans, and those visions feel compatible.
We avoid addressing big problems because it feels easier than risking a difficult conversation.
I trust that my partner is committed to our relationship even when we face setbacks.
I sometimes feel like our relationship is surviving more out of habit or obligation than true partnership.
I worry that we have different long-term goals that could eventually pull us apart.
When one of us is struggling personally, we lean on each other instead of shutting each other out.
Sometimes it feels like we are growing in different directions, and I’m not sure how to bridge the gap.
We are willing to revisit and renegotiate parts of our relationship as we evolve, instead of expecting things to stay the same forever.
When we hit roadblocks, I often feel blamed or criticized instead of supported.
Both of us are willing to seek help (like counseling, books, mentors) if needed to improve our relationship.