Vera Letter

Welcome to your letter.

Answer what you can, skip what you need to. All of the questions in this form are completely optional. You can skip any question or even skip the entire form and go straight to uploading documents if that is easier. The only required fields are: a name for you and a name for your partner (these can be fake or placeholder names) and a safe email address where you can receive your private letter.
Email*

Confirmation Emailexample@example.com

What should Vera call you?*
(You don’t need to use your real name)
What name should Vera use for your partner?*
(You don't need to use their real name)

Part 1: Basic Information

This section includes 7 questions to help Vera understand the outline of your relationship. You can answer in detail, briefly, or skip anything.
Your Age
Partner’s Age
*We ask about age to better understand the context of your relationship like power dynamics, life stages, and timing. You can skip these if they don’t feel comfortable to answer.

MarriedEngagedDatingSeparated/DivorcedCo-ParentingOther

Do you currently live together?
This helps Vera understand your current dynamic and daily proximity.

How long have you been in this relationship?
An estimate is fine. This helps Vera understand the timeline and patterns over time.

Part 2: Pets

This section includes 3 questions about how pet care is shared and how your partner reacts in small moments — like messes, routines, or misbehavior. These may seem like simple questions, but they can quietly reveal important dynamics. You can answer briefly, give more detail, or skip anything that doesn’t apply. The more you share, the more insight Vera can offer.
YesNoNot currently, but we used toIt's complicated

When it comes to cleaning up after or feeding your pet — how do you two usually divide this task?

Imagine your pet is acting out (like chewing on or scratching furniture or barking excessively). How do you think your partner would respond to that?

Part 3: Children

This section includes 5 questions about co-parenting, caregiving, and how conflict or discipline plays out around your children. These questions are about understanding patterns of support, control, or emotional tone in your home. You can answer briefly or in detail. The more you share, the more context Vera will have — but everything is optional.
YesNoNot biologically, but we co-parentWe are expectingIt's complicated

If your child misbehaves in public (ex. throwing a tantrum in a store), how do you think your partner would respond?

If your child had an important school event (like a parent-teacher conference or performance), how would you and your partner handle attending?

Who usually takes care of tasks like making sure the kids are fed, bathed, or getting ready for school?

When it comes to disciplining your child, do you and your partner usually agree on how to approach the situation?

Part 4: Communication

This section includes 6 questions about how you’re spoken to, how you're made to feel, and how emotional boundaries are respected — or crossed. Each question can be answered with a simple yes or no — or, if you're willing, you can share more details or examples. The more you share, the more clearly Vera can reflect patterns, tone, and impact in your report. But every question is still optional.
Does your partner ever belittle your ideas, questions, or decisions in a way that makes you feel like you're less smart or capable?
Example: "That’s a really dumb question," "You can’t be serious," "You never get it right."

Does your partner ever make negative comments about your appearance?
Example: "You’re too fat," "You look horrible," "You’re not as attractive as you think."

When you express your feelings or concern, does your partner minimize them or tell you that you’re overreacting?
Example: "You’re being too sensitive," "It’s not a big deal," "You’re blowing this out of proportion."

Does your partner call you names that imply you’re a bad person or less worthy?
Example: "You’re lazy," "You’re a terrible person," "You never do anything right," "You never do what’s asked of you."

Does your partner ever say or suggest that you’re responsible for their mood or behavior?
Example: "You made me angry," "If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have yelled," "This wouldn’t have happened if you listened to me."

Does your partner try to control where you go, who you see, or what you do without asking or respecting your wishes?
Example: "You can’t hang out with them anymore," "I don’t want you going out tonight," "Where were you? Who were you with?"

Part 5: Finances

This section includes 6 questions about how money is handled in your relationship — and how that affects your ability to make choices, feel safe, or feel equal. Answer what you can. Skip what you need to. The more detail you provide, the more clearly Vera can reflect what stands out.
How do you and your partner handle shared expenses (like bills, groceries, or rent)?
Example: "You both contribute equally," "Your partner handles most of the bills, or you contribute more," "One person pays the majority of shared expenses."

Does your partner share financial information with you, like their paycheck, debts, or credit card bills?
Example: "They keep financial details to themselves," "They share everything openly, and you both discuss it regularly."

Does your partner monitor or control your access to money (e.g., taking control of your bank accounts or credit cards)?
Example: "They keep track of your account, and you don’t have full control over your spending," "You both share accounts, but there are no restrictions."

If you want to buy something for yourself (e.g., clothes, treats), do you have to ask for permission or justification?
Example: "You ask for permission, or you feel you need a reason to spend money on yourself."

When there’s financial tension or disagreements, how does your partner react?
Example: "They get defensive or angry when you talk about money," "You both calmly discuss the issue without blame."

Has your partner ever hidden financial information or debts from you?
Example: "They didn’t tell you about their financial problems or kept you in the dark about joint finances."

Physical and Emotional Safety

This section includes 3 questions about how conflict, control, and physical safety show up in your relationship. You can skip any of them. The more you choose to share, the more deeply Vera can understand your experience. But your safety and comfort come first.
When you have an argument, does your partner try to de-escalate the situation, or do they make it worse?
Example: "They stay calm and try to resolve things," "They escalate the situation, yell, or say things that hurt."

In an argument, does your partner ever get physical with you (even if it’s just slamming doors, throwing things, or raising a hand to you)?
Example: "They throw things, slam doors, or make gestures that feel intimidating," "They’ve raised a hand toward me as a threat."

Has your partner ever pressured or forced you into physical intimacy or acts you didn’t want?
Example: "They’ve continued after I said no," "They made me feel guilty for not wanting to be physical."

Part 7: Closing

This final section has just 3 questions. Answer what you can or skip if it’s too much right now. The more you share here (or anywhere), the more in-depth Vera’s reflection can be — but every word is optional.
Do you feel like the relationship has been getting better, worse, or staying the same over time?

If you could change one thing about the relationship, what would it be?

You’re Almost There
You’ve just shared the heart of your story — thank you for trusting Vera with it.
Next, we’ll ask for a one-time payment of $199 to continue.

Why We Ask for Payment
This supports the time and care Vera’s team puts into reading what you’ve shared and preparing your private letter returned within 48 hours.

After Payment: One Last Step
After checkout, you’ll have the option to upload screenshots, messages, or anything else you'd like Vera to consider. If you’re not ready for this step yet, you’ll receive a private upload link by email and can send materials within 24 hours.

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Welcome to your letter.

Part 1: Basic Information

Part 2: Pets

Part 3: Children

Part 4: Communication

Part 5: Finances

Physical and Emotional Safety

Part 7: Closing