Which Conflict Pattern Is Driving Your Mother

1

What’s your first name and last name?* This field is required.

First Name

Last Name

2

Email address* This field is required.

example@example.com

3

What best describes how you typically feel right before a conflict with your mother/daughter?* This field is required.

Overwhelmed and responsible for keeping the peace

Anxious — like you’re waiting for something to go wrong

Irritated — like the same old pattern is playing out again

Shut down — you’d rather avoid the whole thing

Guilty — even when you didn’t do anything wrong

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1 Q 1 Peacekeeper

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1 Q 2 Trigger–Reaction

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1 Q3 Power Struggle

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1Q 4 Avoidance

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1Q 5 Invisible Needs

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When tension shows up, how does your mother/daughter usually respond?* This field is required.

She becomes emotional, defensive, or hurt

She gets controlling, opinionated, or dismissive

She shuts down or avoids the conversation

She becomes passive-aggressive or guilt-focused

She wants to solve it immediately without really hearing you

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2 Q1 Peacekeeper

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2 Q2 Power Struggle

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2 Q3 Avoidance

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2 Q4 Invisible Needs

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2 Q5 Trigger–Reaction

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What do you tend to do during conflict?* This field is required.

Over-explain yourself

Try to stay calm but end up getting triggered

Get irritated and speak bluntly

Withdraw emotionally

Keep quiet to avoid backlash

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3Q1 Peacekeeper

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3Q2 Trigger–Reaction

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3Q3 Power Struggle

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3Q4 Avoidance

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3Q5 Invisible Needs

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What do disagreements between you usually center around?* This field is required.

Expectations — who should do what

Communication — tone, misunderstanding, feeling unheard

Boundaries — time, access, space, or decisions

Emotional needs — who supported who

Old hurts that keep resurfacing

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4Q1 Power Struggle

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4Q2 Invisible Needs

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4Q3 Avoidance

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4Q4 Peacekeeper

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4Q5 Trigger–Reaction

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When conflict happens, what story plays in your mind?* This field is required.

“It’s my job to fix it and keep us connected.”

“She never listens to me.”

“Why do I always feel like the parent here?”

“I’d rather avoid this than deal with it.”

“If I speak up, I’ll be misunderstood.”

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5Q1 Peacekeeper

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5Q2 Invisible Needs

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5Q3 Power Struggle

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5Q4 Avoidance

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5Q5 Trigger–Reaction

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What’s the biggest emotion that lingers after the conflict?* This field is required.

Exhaustion

Frustration

Sadness

Resentment

Guilt

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6Q1 Peacekeeper

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6Q2 Power Struggle

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6Q3 Invisible Needs

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6Q4 Avoidance

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6Q5 Trigger–Reaction

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In stressful moments, your mother/daughter tends to…* This field is required.

Lean on you more than usual

Try to control the situation

Disappear or shut down

Criticize or compare

Expect you to “just get over it”

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7 Q1 Peacekeeper

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7 Q2 Power Struggle

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7 Q3 Avoidance

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7 Q4 Trigger–Reaction

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7 Q5 Invisible Needs

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How do you navigate boundaries with your mother/daughter?* This field is required.

You set them but feel responsible for her reaction

You try, but she pushes back or questions them

You avoid setting them to keep the peace

You set them firmly but conflict still happens

You aren’t sure what your boundaries are

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8 Q1 Peacekeeper

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8 Q2 Power Struggle

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8 Q3 Avoidance

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8 Q4 Trigger–Reaction

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8 Q5 Invisible Needs

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When do arguments usually start?* This field is required.

When plans or expectations change

When you voice an opinion she disagrees with

When she feels left out

When she feels criticized

When something triggers old memories or patterns

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9 Q1 Power Struggle

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9 Q2 Trigger–Reaction

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9 Q3 Invisible Needs

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9 Q4 Peacekeeper

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9 Q5 Avoidance

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How would you describe your mother/daughter communication style?* This field is required.

Emotional → reactive, hurt easily

Dominant → strong opinions, dismissive tone

Passive → avoids hard conversations

Indirect → guilt, sarcasm, or subtle pressure

Practical → wants solutions, not feelings

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10 Q1 Peacekeeper

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10 Q2 Power Struggle

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10 Q3 Avoidance

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10 Q4 Invisible Needs

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10 Q5 Trigger–Reaction

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What would you love to feel more of in the relationship?* This field is required.

Peace

Understanding

Respect

Connection

Support

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11 Q1Avoidance

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11 Q2 Power Struggle

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11 Q3 Peacekeeper

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11 Q4 Invisible Needs

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11 Q5 Trigger–Reaction

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Which statement feels the most true for you?* This field is required.

“I’ve been the emotional caretaker for a long time.”

“She doesn’t respect my adulthood.”

“We get stuck in the same cycle and can’t break it.”

“We walk on eggshells around each other.”

“We avoid talking about the real issues.”

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12 Q1 Peacekeeper

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12 Q2 Power Struggle

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12 Q3 Trigger–Reaction

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12 Q4 Avoidance

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12 Q5 Invisible Needs

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Peacekeeper

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Power Struggle

77

Avoidance

78

Trigger–Reaction

79

Invisible Needs

80

final