Unstuck & Unashamed Quiz

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15 Questions

Try and answer as honestly and the best of your ability as you can

Check-In for Gay Men: Are You Living Free — or Still Feeling Stuck?

Growing up gay, many of us learned to hide who we were just to stay safe, accepted, or loved. Those early messages don’t disappear on their own — they follow us into adulthood as perfectionism, people-pleasing, body pressure, overthinking, and the constant fear of “not being enough.”

This short reflection is designed to help you get honest about where you are in your journey.

It will show you what’s already working, where shame might still be holding you back, and where you could benefit from more inner freedom, clarity, or support.

This isn’t a test.
There are no wrong answers — only insight.

Take a breath. Be real with yourself.

Your answers might help you see more clearly whether you're living authentically…
or if old beliefs are still running the show.

1. In which moments do you feel the most “not enough” as a gay man?*

Around other gay menOn dating appsWhen I compare my bodyIn group settingsIn romantic relationshipsOn social mediaMost of the time

2. Which parts of your life feel the most stuck right now?*

Self-confidenceDating or relationshipsEmotional openessBody imageBoundariesFeeling enough around other gay menPurpose or directionAll of the above

3. What patterns show up when you feel insecure or not enough?*

People-pleasingComparing myself to other gay menOverthinking everythingSeeking validationAvoiding emotional closenessPerforming instead of being myselfShutting down emotionally

4. What experiences most shaped your self-worth growing up?*

Being told I was "different"Body or appearance commentsTrying to hide parts of myselfFear of being judgedFeeling like I didn't fit inFamily expectationsSchool or social environment
Other

5. How often do you feel disconnected from your true self?*

Almost alwaysOftenSometimesRarelyNever

6. What usually gets in the way of taking care of your emotional wellbeing?*

I don't know howI avoid uncomfortable feelingsI stay busy or distractedI don't prioritize myselfI compare myself to othersI don't feel supportedI've never learned healthy coping tools

7. When someone gets emotionally close to you, what do you tend to do?*

Pull awayShut downOvergiveDistract myselfTest themBecome anxiousOpen up and share more

8. How connected do you feel to your authentic self right now?*

Very connectedSomewhat connectedUnsureDisconnectedVery disconnected

9. How often do you compare yourself to other gay men?*

ConstantlyOftenSometimesRarelyNever

10. What are the biggest sources of pressure you feel within gay culture?*

Body image expectationsConfidence/perfection pressureDating/hookup cultureSocial comparisonNeeding to appear successfulEmotional disconnection
Other

11. What coping strategies do you use when you feel unworthy or insecure?*

Staying busyFixating on my body or looksDrinking or substancesHookups or validation-seekingAvoiding peopleEmotional numbnessHealthy coping tools
Other

12. How supported do you currently feel in your personal growth?*

Very supportedSomewhat supportedNot really supportedNot supported at allI've never had support

13. What areas of your life do you most want to change or improve?*

ConfidenceEmotional regulationRelationshipsBody acceptanceShame healingAuthenticityPurposeAll of the above

14. What is the biggest struggle you’re facing right now as a gay man that you feel ready to change?*

15. If you could feel unashamed and fully yourself in every area of your life, what would become possible for you?*

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