The Self-Sabotage Assessment

The Self-Sabotage Assessment

Discover Your Hidden Pattern: Why You Keep Self-Sabotaging (And How to Stop)
1. When you’re close to achieving a goal, what typically happens?*

I push harder and become more controlling, often burning out or alienating othersI start doubting myself and wonder if I really deserve itI get distracted by something new and lose momentumI worry about what others will think and slow downI raise the bar even higher, making the goal impossible to reach

2. How do you respond when someone criticizes your work?*

I defend myself immediately and explain why they’re wrongI take it deeply personally and question my abilitiesI avoid thinking about it and distract myselfI apologize excessively and try to fix everything to please themI use it as fuel to prove I’m better than they think

3. When you have free time, you typically:*

Fill it with productive tasks because relaxing feels like wasting timeFeel anxious and don’t know what to do with yourselfScroll social media or binge-watch TV to avoid thinkingCheck if anyone needs your help or supportPlan your next big project or achievement

4. What’s your relationship with rest and recovery?*

I rest when everything is perfect, which is almost neverI rest but feel guilty about it the whole timeI “rest” by numbing out or escapingI rest only when everyone else is taken care of firstRest is for people who aren’t ambitious enough

5. When faced with a difficult decision, you:*

Analyze every option until you’re paralyzed by the need to choose perfectlySecond-guess yourself constantly and ask everyone’s opinionProcrastinate and hope the decision resolves itselfChoose whatever will make others happy, even if it’s not what you wantMake a quick decision and push forward, even if you’re unsure

6. How do you handle success?*

I focus on what could have been better instead of celebratingI feel like I got lucky and worry I won’t be able to repeat itI downplay it and change the subjectI deflect credit to others and minimize my contributionI barely acknowledge it before moving to the next bigger goal

7. What’s your inner dialogue like when you make a mistake?*

“This is unacceptable. I should have known better. I need to fix this immediately.”“I knew I couldn’t do it. I’m not good enough. Everyone will see I’m a fraud.”“I don’t want to think about this. Let me distract myself.”“I’ve let everyone down. They must be so disappointed in me.”“This proves I need to work harder and be better.”

8. In relationships, you tend to:*

Have high standards and get frustrated when others don’t meet themWorry constantly about being rejected or abandonedKeep things surface-level to avoid vulnerabilityPrioritize others’ needs over your own, even when it hurts youStruggle to be present because you’re always thinking about work

9. When you’re stressed, your go-to coping mechanism is:*

Working harder and trying to control everythingWithdrawing and isolating yourselfNumbing out with food, alcohol, TV, or social mediaTaking care of everyone else’s problems to avoid your ownPushing through and ignoring the stress signals

10. How do you feel about asking for help?*

Asking for help means I’ve failedI’m afraid to burden others or look incompetentI’d rather struggle alone than admit I need supportI’m great at helping others but terrible at receiving helpI don’t have time to ask for help—it’s faster to do it myself

11. What drives most of your decisions?*

The need to do things right and avoid mistakesFear of failure or looking foolishAvoiding discomfort or difficult emotionsWanting to be liked and accepted by othersThe need to achieve, prove yourself, and win

12. When you set a boundary, you:*

Set rigid boundaries and get frustrated when they’re not respectedSet boundaries but immediately doubt if you have the right toAvoid setting boundaries altogether to keep the peaceSet boundaries but cave when someone pushes backSet boundaries around your time but not your energy or emotions

13. Your relationship with your body is:*

I push it to perform and ignore signals to slow downI’m disconnected from it and don’t trust its signalsI numb it with substances or distractionsI neglect it while taking care of everyone elseIt’s a tool to optimize for performance

14. When something goes well, you think:*

“It’s good, but it could have been better”“I got lucky this time”“Let’s not make a big deal about it”“I hope this makes everyone happy”“Good. Now what’s next?”

15. If you could describe your life in one sentence, it would be:*

“I’m constantly striving for perfection but never quite getting there”“I’m capable but always doubting myself”“I’m going through the motions but not really present”“I’m always there for others but feel invisible myself”“I’m achieving a lot but never feel satisfied”