The Relational Compass
Name
*
First Name
Last Name
Email
*
example@example.com
Are you currently in a relationship
*
Yes
No
Partner's Name (for pairing results and additional insight)
Before You Begin
This assessment is designed to reveal patterns rather than judge or diagnose you. The goal is to reveal how you can better work with your patterns to achieve the outcome you desire. Answer based on how you respond in real conflict with your partner, not how you wish you would respond. If a question feels uncomfortable, it is often pointing to something important. Take your time. There are no right or wrong answers here.
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Next
When conflict starts with my partner, I feel a strong pull to resolve it right away.
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
It’s hard for me to relax or focus on anything else until an issue with my partner is talked through.
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
If my partner pulls away during conflict, I feel driven to move closer or push for conversation.
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
Emotional distance with my partner makes me uneasy and pushes me to reconnect.
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
Moving Toward Score
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Next
When things get tense with my partner, my instinct is to create distance or take space.
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
When emotions rise, I disengage in a way that makes it hard for my partner to reach me or stay connected.
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
During conflict, I go quiet or withdraw and often stay that way longer than my partner wants or expects.
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
When conflict feels overwhelming, I need space from my partner before I can engage again.
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
Pulling Back Score
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Next
If I feel misunderstood in conflict, I tend to keep pressing my point rather than shifting focus to the relationship.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
During conflict, I stay focused on making my point, even if the conversation becomes tense.
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
When conflict arises, I can feel responsible for clarifying what’s really happening.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
It’s hard for me to move forward in a conflict until I feel my perspective has landed.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
Holding Authority Total
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Next
When conflict escalates, I soften my position to keep things from getting worse.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I hold back what I really think or feel to keep the situation calm.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I go along with things I don’t fully agree with to avoid tension.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
During conflict, keeping the peace feels more important than being fully honest.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
Preserving Peace Total
Compass Direction (internal)
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I feel responsible for fixing things when my partner is upset.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I absorb my partner’s emotions even when I try not to.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I keep my feelings to myself so they don’t affect my partner.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
When conflict happens, I rely mainly on myself rather than leaning on my partner.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I can share how I feel without expecting my partner to change or respond a certain way.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I can stay connected without taking on my partner’s emotional state.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I stay grounded in myself even when my partner is emotional.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
Emotional Boundaries Total
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When conflict gets intense, my body reacts quickly and strongly.
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I need the conversation to change before I can calm down.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I take breaks from conflict that actually help me reset rather than avoid.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
Even when conflict is unresolved, I can still function and go about my day.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
Self-Regulation Total
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Next
After conflict, I focus on what my partner did before looking at my own part.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I acknowledge my impact before explaining my intentions.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I reach out to reconnect after conflict instead of waiting for my partner to do it.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I assume time will smooth things over rather than addressing conflict directly.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I struggle to move toward repair unless my partner first understands or acknowledges my side.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
Repair & Responsibility Total
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Even when upset, I avoid insults, threats, or name-calling.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I can disagree without raising my voice or talking over my partner.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I stay engaged in conflict without trying to win or shut it down.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
When my partner is upset, I make an effort to acknowledge or reflect what they’re feeling before explaining my own point of view.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
Winning Strategies
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Next
When I’m frustrated, my tone, facial expressions, or comments can come across as dismissive or belittling to my partner.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
I spend more time in conflict defending myself than understanding my partner.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
During conflict, what’s wrong with my partner or their behavior can draw more focus than the specific issue at hand.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
When conflict happens, I see my partner as the main cause of the problem rather than looking at how we both contributed.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
Losing Strategies
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Next
After conflict, emotional distance tends to linger between us.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
When conflict starts, my first reaction tends to set the tone for how the rest of it goes.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
When conflict is intensifying, I can help us reset and re-engage in a more constructive way.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
After conflict, it’s hard for me to fully re-engage emotionally without some kind of reset or reassurance.
*
Rarely
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Almost Always
Conflict Engagement Style
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