⚖️ Legal Disclaimer
(Please Read Carefully. Or Don’t. We’re Covered Either Way.)
By submitting this survey, you acknowledge that no services were requested, provided, discussed, implied, contemplated, or remembered, and that any resemblance to a service—real, fictional, hypothetical, alleged, or misunderstood—is purely coincidental, accidental, and absolutely intentional.
All responses are completely anonymous, except where they are not, and confidential to the fullest extent permitted by law, policy, tradition, common sense, and selective memory. Any information you choose to provide is voluntary, involuntary, or the result of clicking too fast, and is treated as both privileged and meaningless.
Nothing contained in this survey constitutes an admission, confession, solicitation, agreement, acknowledgment, understanding, or wink. At the same time, all statements are deemed accurate, inaccurate, exaggerated, understated, satirical, and legally useless upon submission.
You affirm that you are not under duress, except for the kind of duress that comes from answering surveys, and that no threats were made, implied, suggested, or humorously inferred—unless you thought it was funny, in which case it was clearly a joke. Capisce.