What Kind of Wife Are You?
A heart and character self-assessment. Rate yourself honestly and discover your strongest patterns in marriage.
Instructions:
Rate each statement from 1–5:
1 – Never true
2 – Rarely true
3 – Sometimes true
4 – Often true
5 – Very true
Answer honestly — not as who you want to be, but who you currently are.
The Supportive Wife
Rate each statement from 1–5.
I encourage my husband (or future husband) verbally.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I celebrate his growth and success without competition.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I speak respectfully about him to others.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I protect his weaknesses instead of exposing them.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I pray for him consistently.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
Total for The Supportive Wife (add your scores above):
High Score Suggests: You are strong in partnership and encouragement.
The Controlling Wife
Rate each statement from 1–5.
I struggle when things are not done my way.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I correct or criticize frequently.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I have difficulty trusting his decisions.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I feel anxious when I am not in control.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I sometimes use silence, attitude, or tone to communicate frustration.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
Total for The Controlling Wife (add your scores above):
High Score Suggests: Control may be an area needing healing or surrender.
The Peaceful Wife
Rate each statement from 1–5.
I seek resolution instead of “winning” arguments.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I manage my emotions during conflict.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I avoid public embarrassment or disrespect.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I create a calm environment at home.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I choose wisdom over impulse reactions.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
Total for The Peaceful Wife (add your scores above):
High Score Suggests: You cultivate emotional safety and peace.
The Wounded Wife
Rate each statement from 1–5.
I react from past hurt instead of present reality.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I struggle with trust due to previous betrayal.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I withhold affection when I feel hurt.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I expect disappointment.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I carry unresolved resentment into new situations.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
Total for The Wounded Wife (add your scores above):
High Score Suggests: There may be healing work needed from past wounds.
The Independent Wife
Rate each statement from 1–5.
I have difficulty being vulnerable.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I prefer handling things alone.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I struggle to ask for help.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I equate dependence with weakness.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I resist emotional intimacy at times.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
Total for The Independent Wife (add your scores above):
High Score Suggests: Independence may be protective rather than healthy partnership.
The Godly Wife
Rate each statement from 1–5.
I seek God first in marital challenges.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I align my behavior with biblical wisdom.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I practice forgiveness intentionally.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I value submission as strength, not inferiority.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
I desire to reflect Christ in my marriage.
*
Never true
1
2
3
4
Very true
5
1 is Never true, 5 is Very true
Total for The Godly Wife (add your scores above):
High Score Suggests: You are spiritually grounded in your role.
Scoring Guide:
For each section:
• 20–25 → Dominant trait
• 15–19 → Present but developing
• 10–14 → Mild influence
• Below 10 → Not a strong characteristic currently
Your highest two sections reveal your strongest patterns. Your lowest score in a healthy category may reveal a growth opportunity.
Reflection: What version of a wife did I witness growing up?
Reflection: What fears shape how I show up in relationships?
Reflection: Am I reacting from love or insecurity?
Reflection: What would a healed, whole version of me look like as a wife?
Declaration:
“I am becoming a wise, whole, and emotionally healthy woman. My marriage will reflect healing, not hurt.”
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