Hello Dudes! Welcome and congratulations. We are delighted to have you here.
Thank you for your interest in participating in Sanctuary’s Dudey Pageant ™ (a beauty pageant for dudes!). We are delighted to bring this event -- in its third year -- back to Sanctuary to celebrate YOU, you fun-loving, handsome fucker.
Please read the following terms and conditions closely – we want any surprises that pop up, so to speak, to be the good kind.
The event takes place Saturday, April 18 at 8 pm. Please arrive no later than 7 pm. There will be a private staging/changing area for participants; night-of instructions, itineraries, and timelines will be shared at that time.
First prize is $250. There will be additional prizes (announced night-of) for first and second runners-up. There may be additional prizes and surprises throughout the night. Prepare for anything. This event is for fun and entertainment -- no need to get crazy or competititve.
Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Statement: We are pro all of these things. There are no restrictions on who may enter the Dudey Pageant ™. All dudes, regardless of age, height, body type, gender, sex assigned at birth, marital status, disability status, sexual orientation, zodiac sign, protected veteran status, etc are welcome to participate. If you have questions about whether you’re able to enter, please ask. The answer is almost definitely yes.
The event is divided into three categories, described below. All contestants are required to participate in each of the three categories, according to their own personal tastes and preferences. Your host (Dani) will talk you through it before and during the pageant. Don’t worry, pookie. I'll take care of you ;)
Categories
Personal Interview: Each participant will participate in a "formal" interview. Your host (that’s Mistress Dani) will ask you 1-3 probing questions. You’ll answer truthfully and charmingly. Wear whatever formal attire you like. Rent a tux, wear a tuxedo tshirt, make it cute, make it uniquely you. No hate speech will be tolerated. Swearing is fine. Slurs are not. Innuendo is encouraged; harassment is not. Sensing a theme? As with all things at Sanctuary, we play fast and loose with rules but go zero tolerance for bullshit.
Judging will be based on charm, quality of response, and engagement. Make us like you. It’s the only way.
Talent: Each participant will have three minutes to demonstrate their best, most creative, and impressive skills. Keep it R rated, dudes! (Please see below for full disclosure regarding our zero tolerance policy for open-air dicks.)
Examples of talents may include: chopping wood; shirtless push-ups; a short comedy set; musical performance; interpretive dance; putting a baby to sleep; opening several jars; etc.
Judging will be based on creativity, skill, and delivery. Your attire for the talent portion of the contest may be anything. Wanna wear a speedo on stage? Now’s your chance.
Grey sweatpants: This is the easy one. Grey sweatpants, footwear of your choice. Tops are optional. Make us sweat.
Judging will be based entirely on looks; feel free to flex, twirl, twerk, wink, sway, etc. Show us what you’ve got.
The host and organizers reserve the right to modify questions, respond to talents, participate in categories, and/or go completely off-script at any time.
Rules and Disqualification
There is ONE hard and fast rule for this pageant. Just one. Are you listening? Keep your dick in your pants. NO OPEN-AIR DICKS. If your talent requires your dick be exposed, we don’t want to see it. Pick a new talent. Learn to juggle. With your hands, please. Feet are fine. Elbows sure. Idc. There are no juggling-with-your-dick loopholes. This is *not* discrimination against people whose talents are limited. It’s about propriety.
If we see your dick, you are disqualified and also gross. Get it together.
Rules that will be harder to know if you’re going to break so you should err on the side of caution and respect:
Any hate speech or disrespect toward the host, judges, audience, or people in general will result in immediate public shame and disqualification. Look around. This is not the place.
Please send (via Snapchat, text message, Facebook, or carrier pigeon) a digital photo by April 1. All contestants must be registered by this date and photos are required to complete your registration.
Your entry fee is $25, to be paid in person at Sanctuary LaSalle, or via CashApp (itsdanipie) or Venmo (sanctuarylasalle).
Winning
There will be three judges. Judges will accept bribes, coercion, pandering, sexy eye contact, etc. Anything goes. Make ‘em sweat. Scoring will be based on those three judges’ scorecards PLUS audience noise. You’ll want to make sure your crew is in the crowd to ensure you’re getting that applause, baby.
Audience participation will be key here, and your engagement of the audience will contribute to your success. Please be thoughtful about how you engage with members of the audience – consent is key (don’t gyrate on unwilling strangers). Do not engage with anyone wearing a pink armband.
We are excited to have you! Godspeed, darlings. May the force be with you. xx