My brother David and me live here together. It’s quite a laugh, I can tell you. He’s a funny bloke, I suppose. (And he’s got quite the hipster beard too!)

He’s a bit of a nuisance at times. Take the other day. He was late for work in the morning. But I thought that that would be the last I saw of him the whole day.

I saw him splash some water on his face, put on his coat, and run down the stairs, three at a time. “You won’t make it!” I yelled. He pulled the paper out of the door, and headed down the path. He just made it to the 93 bus stop down the bottom of the road as the bus was pulling up. That’s another great day started, I thought.

After all that faff, I wasn’t very pleased when I ran into him that evening. He was wandering about in a daze down St Stephens — by Marks & Spencer’s, or somewhere near there. I was going out to eat with our Aunt Ellen and Uncle Hugh, and our cousins Susan and Alan. They live out at Hellesdon, close to the airport. But I didn’t want my fool of a brother to come along as well. I’d got a bottle of Adnams beer under my arm. Of course, he saw it. And he wanted to know all about it. “What are you doing with that?” he asked. I knew he would like the idea of helping me have a night out. He likes his food, too. And Sue’s lovely. He likes her, and so do I. But she’s always rather harsh and a bit cool with both of us. Anyway, I had to tell him. Then I said: “I’m off now, see you tomorrow”, before getting a move on.

I decided I’d better get the 86. There wasn’t much of a queue, just a few people, so I waited on Castle Meadow. It felt like years before the bus arrived. They’re supposed to come every 12 minutes. I was still early, though. They were all at home when I got there. Sue was dressed in what she called “fashionable gear” — flared jeans, an oversized hoodie and a pair of boots that she found on the market. She was playing awful country music on Alexa again. (I’m certain her mother hates it!) She never had very good manners, and now they’ve got worse. All she said to me was: “Hello dear! Leave me alone, I’m busy!” (Pure nonsense, of course.) And she only said that after she’d combed her hair for about 20 minutes.

She was the first one up the table. And then she ate her turkey soup with a fruit spoon! But I soon got my own back, by telling everybody how I saw her admiring the beautiful view from Yarmouth pier on Tuesday! She was with someone from some other town who’s still at school. Aunt Angela nearly hit the roof! (Mind you, she was due for a shock.) I didn’t think I ought to have said it really. It looked as if there was a row coming. But it didn’t matter. Just then there was a knock on the door, and in walked my stupid brother David!