The Niceness Trap Audit

HOW TO USE THIS AUDIT:

For each statement, rate yourself honestly.
1 = Rarely true, 2 = Sometimes true, 3 = Often true, 4 = Almost always true.
Be honest. This is not about who you want to be. This is about how you are actually showing up.
First name
Last name
Email
example@example.com
Intimate Relationships
I hold back what I really feel to avoid conflict

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I rehearse conversations but don’t fully say them

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I downplay what bothers me

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I prioritize their comfort over my truth

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I accept partial effort instead of asking for more

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I avoid bringing things up unless necessary

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I worry being direct will damage the relationship

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I say “it’s fine” when it’s not

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
Friendships
I say yes when I want to say no

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I tolerate one-sided friendships

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I don’t address hurt directly

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I allow or engage in gossip

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I feel drained but continue showing up

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I over-give without reciprocity

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I avoid honest conversations

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I fear exclusion if I’m too direct

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
Motherhood
I manage my child’s emotions over my own

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I avoid boundaries to prevent upset

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I feel guilty prioritizing myself

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I over-explain instead of holding firm

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I tolerate disrespect too long

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I feel responsible for their happiness

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I soften consequences

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I walk on eggshells

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
Work/Career
I soften my ideas before speaking

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I ask instead of stating

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I over-prepare but second-guess

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I hesitate to challenge others

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I avoid visibility

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I say yes to too much

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I under-communicate my value

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I prioritize being liked over respected

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
Self/Inner World
I question my instincts

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I seek validation before acting

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I override my needs

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I struggle to disappoint others

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I equate good with agreeable

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I over-explain when saying no

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I fear being seen as selfish

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
I abandon my priorities

1

2

3

4

1 is Rarely true, 4 is Always true
Reflection
Where are you leaking the most power?
What behavior do you recognize?
What are you afraid would happen if you stopped?
What is it costing you?
The truth I’m avoiding is:
If I said it cleanly, it would sound like:
Would you like a personalized breakdown of your results?
Relationships Score
Friendships Score
Motherhood Score
Work Score
Self Score
Primary Niceness Trap
Should be Empty:

Intimate Relationships

Friendships

Motherhood

Work/Career

Self/Inner World

Reflection