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Find Your Pattern
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13
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1
Who are you here for today?
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Myself
My student/child
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2
When you try to start something important, your brain says:
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“Now that I see it, what if we…didn’t actually?”
“Take #137 on find the right title”
“Ok, let’s start a doc and first map this out for 2 hours”
“Start! Oh look interesting detour! Wait no! Stop…backup, restart!”
“We ride at dawn" (panic mode)
“How can anyone on the planet keep up with all of this?”
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3
What’s the most annoying part?
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Trying to sift through the neverending pile called, life.
Knowing what to do but not able to do it
I could overthink how to brush my teeth
Getting through one thing while 100 others pile up
Planning and organizing until I’m over the whole thing
Losing time like it’s an Olympic sport
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4
Where is this causing the most chaos?
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School
Work
Daily Life
Emotional energy
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5
Which one is your biggest inner monologue?
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“I should be able to do this, what’s wrong with me?”
“It was going to be different this time and here I am again?”
“I was so ready yesterday and now, I just can’t”
“It’s impossible…where do I even start?”
“If it’s not due today, then it can wait”
“Ok, so lost today planning what I was going to do, let’s see about tomorrow”
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6
When you finally start the task, what usually happens next?
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Which one of the “finally starts” are we talking about here?
“How did it get so late so fast?!”
Start? I’m just on one long back-to-back cycle of things to get through.
Ready to go til I actually start and realize just how much it is, and then nope out
One step misfires and my brain says, “we’re done, mission aborted”
I’m good! Well, good until I need to go through the 91 tabs open to see where the music is coming from.
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7
You need to do a closet clean out. What makes this feel harder than it should be?
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I ran out of time because I spent the day buying bins, listing my steps, contemplating what goes with what, and color coding an entire closet system.
I was exhausted at, “you need to”
How did I think I could do this all today? I am miserable.
Opens the door, looks at it, slowly just closes door.
I watched 73 videos and read the entire KonMari Method - I can't get anything right
Started great, now the closet is everywhere, and I’m sitting on a pile of clothes looking at old pictures.
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8
When your student tries to start something important, what usually happens?
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By start, do you mean after we search for the book, the computer charger, get a drink, don’t forget a bathroom break, and back to the book they sat down and can’t find after the bathroom break?
100 reminders and still they wait until the last‑minute panic
I swear they find anything else to do besides what they need to
The more important it is, the higher the anxiety freeze
Once we get through the meltdowns about how much they have to do we can get somewhere.
We haven’t even started and somehow they’re already exhausted
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9
Which feels most frustrating right now?
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They know what to do but find a million other things to do first
The inconsistent moods, you never know what the reaction is going to be
I’ve become hypervigilant because I am never sure when and what direction the explosion is coming from.
I think they really believe they can bend the laws of time
They are so capable, but it’s clearly impossible to convince them of that
Everything is instantly: too big, too hard, too much
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10
Where is this affecting them most?
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School / Grades
Daily Life
Emotional Health
Motivation
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11
Which sounds most like your student?
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They’re trying, but it never seems to be good enough for them
Feeling like there is always more to do is taking its toll
Often shocked and surprised the forgot something, missed a step, or things we not done correctly
If it does not have to be done TODAY, why do it?
Somehow thinking about a task = doing that task
Everything is too confusing, too much, too hard, or too boring
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12
When they
do
start, what usually happens next?
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Oh they start, but only once it’s close to impossible to get finished and also sleep
Finally willing to start, see how much it is, and back to the phone
They begin, but it’s a slow long battle to get through it
We need the perfect plan and everything needs to stay as envisioned, or shut down
Depends on the day of the week, the time, and the alignment of the stars what happens next.
Are we calculating start from the task start or from rearranging their work space, getting a snack, taking a phone call, and making a list?
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13
They need to do a closet clean out. What makes tasks harder for them than they should be?
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They spent more time prepping than doing.
They were exhausted at, “you need to”
They were convinced 6 months of closet build up could be done in an hour.
They got as far as opening the door, looked at it, and slowly backed away
They will only accept a closet that looks like the one they saw on Pinterest or game over.
It was great until half way through and now it just looks like a closet explosion.
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14
Avoidant Planner Buffer
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15
Burnoutloop Buffer
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16
Chaos Cyler Buffer
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17
Shutdown Perfectionist Buffer
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18
Time‑Blind Sprinter Buffer
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19
Overwhelmed Starter Buffer
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20
Avoidant Planner Score
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21
Burnout Loop Score
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22
Chaos Cycler Score
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23
Shutdown Perfectionist Score
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24
Time‑Blind Sprinter Score
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25
Overwhelmed Starter Score
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