Self-Awareness Index

Name

First NameLast Name

Email

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Location

City, Town, Country

Rate each statement from 0 to 10 based on how true it is for you.

0 = not at all true; 10 = completely true.

Rate yourself honestly based on how consistently you live this way.

Reveal the Truth

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1. I am able to notice consistent patterns in my life and relationships, and understand why they happen. When I react strongly to something, I am able to determine what it was that has set me off.
2 – When faced with situations where I get defensive, I take the time to understand why it matters so much and to make sure my ego and emotions are not taking the lead.
3 – I consider other people’s needs, schedules, and feelings as seriously as my own, instead of expecting them to adjust to me.
4 – I can be happy for someone else’s success without comparing myself, downplaying it, or making it about me.
5 – I can say no to people, even when I know they’ll be disappointed, without over-explaining, feeling guilty, or giving in later.
6 – I say and do what’s true for me, even when it risks someone being upset with me, instead of changing myself to gain approval or keep the peace.
7 – When I want something from someone, I am able to ask for it directly instead of using sarcasm, humor, guilt, pressure, the silent treatment or any other form of avoidance.
8 – I can easily take responsibility for my part in a conflict. I never suggest that my actions are only in response to what they have done.
9 – When something upsets me, I am able to stop and think about what I really want before I respond. I make sure that I am not contributing to the problem.
10 – I believe that my words, thoughts and actions are mine to control. Others cannot make me feel, say or do anything.

Reveal the Truth Total

Find Your Ground

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1 - I am able to recognize what is within my control and what is not. When something goes wrong, I can identify what is mine and then take responsibility for it.
2 – When faced with a difficult situation, I focus on what I can do to improve it instead of blaming others or feeling powerless.
3 – I am able to set boundaries without feeling that I am being selfish or letting someone down.
4 – When someone pushes against my boundaries, I am able to stand firm without giving in just to avoid conflict.
5 – When I feel resentment toward someone, I am able to examine what I have agreed to, tolerated, or expected rather than blaming the other person.
6 – I can give to others without sacrificing my own needs and then expecting them to appreciate or repay me.
7 – I am able to accept situations I don't like without wasting energy wishing they were different.
8 – When I cannot change a situation or another person's choices, I focus on how I can respond rather than continuing to fight against reality.
9 – I am able to accept reality as it is, take responsibility for what is mine to change, and let go of what is beyond my control, even when life doesn't turn out the way I want.
10 – I take responsibility for the choices available to me instead of allowing difficult circumstances to determine how I live my life.

Find Your Ground Total

Know Your Worth

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1. I go after what I want even when I’m afraid of failing, being rejected, or not being good enough.
2. I am someone who does things, instead of talking myself out of it, putting it off, or waiting until I feel ready. I take appropriate risks and chances.
3. When someone says or does something hurtful, I can see it as a reflection of them, not proof that something is wrong with me.
4. When I have an emotional “trigger” of some kind, I check in with myself before reacting, instead of treating my first interpretation as the truth.
5. When things don’t go as planned, I adjust and make a new plan instead of staying stuck on how it should have gone.
6. When I face a setback, I look for what I can learn or do differently instead of assuming things won’t improve.
7. I feel comfortable with who I am and what I bring to a relationship, without needing compliments, reassurance, or approval to feel good enough.
8. I can acknowledge my strengths and accomplishments without dismissing them, brushing off compliments, or comparing myself to others.
9. I take responsibility for how I see myself and the choices I make, instead of waiting for other people’s opinions to tell me what I’m worth.
10. I treat myself as someone of value, even when I make mistakes, face rejection, or fall short of my expectations.

Know Your Worth Total

Trust Yourself

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1 - When things get difficult, I am able to stay true to what I think, feel, and need, instead of going quiet, going along, or changing myself to keep the peace.
2 – When I start to feel stressed, I can easily identify and manage the real issue, and I continue with my plans instead of numbing out, overworking, shutting down, or focusing on everyone else’s problems.
3 – I keep the promises I make to myself, such as my plans, habits, and limits, as reliably as I keep promises to other people.
4 – When I commit to something for myself, I follow through even when I’m tired, busy, or no one would notice if I didn’t.
5 – When someone’s actions don’t match their words, I trust their actions and adjust instead of making excuses for them or hoping they’ll change.
6 – Before I commit to a person, decision, or situation, I take time to gather the facts and listen to my gut instead of rushing in, ignoring warning signs, or letting hope or fear make the decision.
7 – When things don’t go as planned, I trust that I’ll figure it out instead of panicking, assuming the worst, or needing someone else to fix it.
8 – After a mistake or setback, I can easily recover without getting stuck in blame, regret, or replaying it over and over.
9 – Once I’ve made a decision, I stand behind it and deal with the results instead of constantly second-guessing myself, seeking reassurance, or blaming myself if it doesn’t work out.
10 – I trust myself because I stay with myself when things are hard, keep my promises to myself, make sound decisions, and know I’ll be okay even when things don’t go the way I hoped.

Trust Yourself Total

Speak Assertively

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1. I let people see the real me, including my fears, needs, and mistakes, instead of hiding behind humour, a tough image, or “I’m fine.”
2. I share what I’m feeling or needing, even when it feels risky, instead of hiding it, downplaying it, or waiting for someone to guess.
3. I say what I think, feel, and need clearly and respectfully, without becoming aggressive, apologizing for having an opinion, or staying quiet to avoid conflict.
4. When I disagree or say no, I stay calm and direct instead of getting defensive, over-explaining, or giving in.
5. When I’m frustrated, I talk about it to be heard or to find a solution, not to repeat the same complaint, gain sympathy, or get others on my side.
6. When someone’s behaviour bothers me, I talk to that person instead of complaining about them to other people.
7. In a disagreement, I speak in a way that keeps the conversation open instead of shutting it down with blame, sarcasm, interrupting, or “you always” or “you never.”
8. I listen to understand and make the other person feel heard before I try to be understood or defend my side.
9. After a hard conversation, I feel I said what I needed to say and stayed respectful, instead of replaying what I should have said or regretting what I did say.
10. I express myself clearly and respectfully, and my words build connection instead of distance.

Speak Assertively Total

Stop the Drama

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1. I treat disagreement as a normal part of relationships and work through it instead of avoiding it, shutting down, or giving in just to keep the peace.
2. In a disagreement, I stay focused on the issue and treat the other person with respect instead of attacking, criticizing, mocking, or bringing up the past.
3. When a conversation starts to feel threatening, I stay curious about what’s happening instead of justifying myself, attacking, withdrawing, or counterattacking.
4. When someone criticizes me or disagrees with me, I ask questions to understand what they mean instead of immediately defending myself or pointing out their faults.
5. When emotional drama starts around me, I step back instead of getting pulled in, taking sides, escalating, or retelling the story to keep it going.
6. When things are calm, I let them stay calm instead of stirring up old issues, looking for something to be upset about, or needing a problem to feel connected or alive.
7. In a disagreement, I care more about solving the problem than being right, so I don’t argue my point, keep score, or need the last word.
8. I listen to the other person’s side without planning my rebuttal, interrupting, or correcting every detail.
9. When a disagreement starts to get heated, I pause, calm myself, and return to it instead of pushing on, saying things I’ll regret, or storming off.
10. In conflict, I stay sincere, listen to understand, avoid attacking the other person, and focus on resolving the problem rather than winning.

Stop the Drama Total

Connect Sincerely

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1. I feel safe enough in my close relationships to share my real feelings, and I’m present enough to make it safe for others to do the same, instead of staying guarded, distracted, or on the surface.
2. When I’m drawn to someone, I look beyond the spark to whether we share values, trust each other, and work well together, instead of getting swept up in the excitement, ignoring warning signs, or hoping the rest will fall into place.
3. When something disrupts a close connection, such as a disagreement, distance, or a hard stretch, I reach toward the person to repair it instead of pulling away, going cold, or waiting for them to fix it.
4. When stress, busyness, or life changes get in the way, I make time and effort to keep the connection alive instead of letting it drift or assuming it will take care of itself.
5. The important relationships in my life help me grow, try new things, and feel more like myself, instead of making my life smaller.
6. I keep my own friends, interests, and goals in close relationships, and I support the other person in keeping theirs, instead of becoming possessive, isolated, or threatened by their growth.
7. I can be myself with the people closest to me, including my opinions, quirks, and flaws, instead of hiding parts of myself, performing, or saying what I think they want to hear.
8. I accept the people close to me as they are, without trying to change, fix, or mold them into who I want them to be.
9. The connections in my life are ones where I feel safe, respected, and free to be myself, and I work on them or step back when they aren’t.
10. I build connections that last: I’m present, honest, and myself with people, and I choose relationships that are both exciting and sustainable.

Connect Sincerely Total

Release the Past

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1. I check whether what I believe about a situation, a person, or myself is actually true, instead of acting on assumptions, old conclusions, or what I’ve always told myself.
2. When the facts show I was wrong, or that something I didn’t want to believe is true, I accept it and change how I act, instead of denying it, explaining it away, or holding on to my version.
3. I can think about painful moments from my past without feeling the same hurt, anger, or shame all over again.
4. I don’t bring old hurts into my present relationships through suspicion, defensiveness, or testing people, or by making someone pay for what someone else did.
5. The story I tell about my past includes what I learned and how I’ve grown, not only what happened to me.
6. I can look at painful experiences from more than one side, including the other person’s, without excusing what happened and without staying stuck in blame or self-blame.
7. I can let go of anger or resentment toward someone for the sake of my own peace, without excusing what they did and without needing them to apologize or change.
8. I can forgive myself for past mistakes instead of punishing myself, replaying them, or letting them define who I am.
9. The past doesn’t take up much of my energy, mood, or attention, and I can be fully present in my life today.
10. I let go of what I’ve been carrying: I face what’s true, loosen what still hurts, tell a fuller story, and forgive in a way that protects my peace.

Release the Past Total

Choose Happiness

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1. I don’t put my happiness on hold until something changes, such as reaching a milestone, buying something, finding a relationship, or getting someone else to change.
2. I choose how I’m going to approach my day instead of waiting for a good mood, good news, or perfect circumstances before I allow myself to enjoy life.
3. I notice and appreciate what’s good in my life, and I let people know I appreciate them, instead of focusing mainly on what’s missing or going wrong.
4. I make a point of doing kind things for others, even when I’m busy, tired, or in a bad mood, without expecting anything in return.
5. I know what matters most to me, and I use it to guide how I spend my time and energy instead of drifting or letting other people’s expectations decide for me.
6. When life is difficult, I draw on what gives my life meaning to help me keep going instead of feeling lost or believing nothing matters.
7. When things don’t go my way, I look for what is still good or worthwhile instead of dwelling on what I’ve lost or assuming everything is ruined.
8. Even when life is difficult, I make room for enjoyment, laughter, and gratitude instead of waiting for things to get better before I allow myself to be happy.
9. I take responsibility for my own happiness instead of expecting other people or circumstances to make me happy.
10. I choose to make happiness part of my everyday life rather than treating it as a goal I will reach when everything finally goes my way.

Choose Happiness Total

Live with Integrity

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1. My choices match what I say matters to me, even when it’s inconvenient, uncomfortable, or no one would know.
2. When I act against my values, I own it and correct course instead of justifying it, minimizing it, or hoping no one noticed.
3. I pay attention to what’s actually being said and done, and to what I’m feeling, instead of tuning out, assuming I already know, or reacting before I have the full picture.
4. I accept what’s true, including feedback I don’t like and feelings I’d rather not have, instead of denying it, minimizing it, or pretending I’m fine.
5. I separate what actually happened from the story I tell about it, instead of adding assumptions, motives, or worst-case meanings I can’t know.
6. I take responsibility for my part and am honest about it, instead of hiding it, shifting blame, or leaving out details that make me look bad.
7. I respond in line with my values even when I’m angry, hurt, or tempted to do what’s easier, instead of reacting, retaliating, or going along with something I don’t believe in.
8. I act according to the same values whether people are watching or not, and whether things are calm or under pressure.
9. When something difficult happens, I take it in clearly, interpret it honestly, and respond honorably instead of reacting on impulse, making assumptions, or doing what’s easiest.
10. I make an effort to see things as they are, be honest with myself about what they mean, and choose responses that reflect the person I want to be.

Live with Integrity Total

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Self-Awareness Index