What Stage of Deterioration Is Your Marriage In?
Discover your marriage deterioration stage in 3 minutes and learn what you can do next.
Your marriage didn't get here overnight. Marriages decline in five predictable stages — and knowing which stage you're in tells you what can still be done. Answer 10 quick questions honestly. Takes 3 minutes.
First Name
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Email Address
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example@example.com
Which describes you?
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I'm the one who's unhappy and pulling away
I'm the one trying to hold the marriage together
I'm not sure
When you think about your marriage today, what's the strongest feeling that comes up?
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Disappointment — it's not what I imagined it would be
Frustration — we keep having the same problems over and over
Numbness — I don't feel much of anything anymore
Something recently gave way in me — it may have been big or small, but it was the last straw
Relief — I feel better when we're apart
How do disagreements go in your marriage?
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We argue, but we make up and move on
We have the same fights on repeat and nothing ever gets resolved
We've mostly stopped fighting — neither of us bothers anymore
Something recently — major or minor — landed differently than everything that came before it
There's nothing left to fight about
When something good or bad happens in your day, who do you want to tell first?
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My spouse — but it doesn't land the way it used to
My spouse — though it often turns into tension
A friend, family member, or nobody — not my spouse
Definitely not my spouse — I'm guarding myself around them now
It would never occur to me to tell my spouse
How would you describe physical affection between you?
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Still there, but less spark than before
Inconsistent — warm one week, cold the next
Rare — we're more like roommates
It faded over time, and recently I realized it's gone
Nonexistent, and I prefer it that way
When you imagine your future, your spouse is...
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In the picture, though the picture looks different than I hoped
In the picture, but only if some big things change
Blurry — I honestly can't picture us in five years
A question mark — something in me shifted recently and I can't shift it back
Not in the picture
How much effort are you putting into the marriage right now?
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A lot — I'm trying to get back what we had
Some — but I'm getting tired of being the one who tries
Very little — I've quietly stopped trying
I hit a wall recently — after years of trying, something in me quit
None — the effort left me a long time ago
Have you thought about separation or divorce?
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Fleetingly, in bad moments
More often than I'd like to admit
Regularly — I think about what leaving would look like
Constantly — lately it feels less like a question and more like a conclusion
I've moved past thinking about it — I'm planning it or already living it
How does your spouse's presence in a room make you feel?
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Comfortable, but the excitement is gone
On edge — I brace for what might go wrong
Indifferent — like a piece of furniture is in the room
Hurt or angry every time I look at them
Nothing at all — or I leave the room
If your spouse suddenly became warm, attentive, and loving tomorrow, you would feel...
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Thrilled — it's what I've been waiting for
Hopeful but skeptical — I'd wonder how long it will last
Suspicious — what do they want?
Too hurt to receive it right now
Nothing — it's too late
Which sentence sounds most like what's in your head?
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"This isn't what I signed up for."
"I can't keep doing this same dance."
"I feel alone in my own house."
"That was it for me. After everything, I just can't anymore."
"The marriage is already over — one of us just hasn't said it out loud."
Click submit and your stage will appear on the next page. I'll also email you a copy, along with what to do about it.
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