• Relationship House Assessment

    Read each statement and select the response that best reflects how you generally function in relationships—not how you wish you functioned.

  • 1 = Never true
    2 = Rarely true
    3 = Sometimes true
    4 = Often true
    5 = Consistently true

  • SECTION 1 — FOUNDATION

  • The beliefs and relational patterns that shape how you connect with others.

  • 1. I find it easy to trust people appropriately
  • 2. When conflict arises, I remain engaged rather than withdrawing, shutting down, or avoiding the issue.
  • 3. I recognize unhealthy patterns from my past and make intentional choices not to repeat them.
  • 4. My closest relationships are characterized by consistency, stability, and mutual commitment.

  • SECTION 2 — STRUCTURE

  • The way you intentionally build and maintain relationships.

  • 5. I intentionally invest in relationships that are healthy, mutual, and life-giving.
  • 6. I recognize and respond appropriately to warning signs instead of ignoring or excusing them.
  • 7. I address relational problems before they develop into major conflicts.
  • 8. I make important relationship decisions based on wisdom, character, and shared values rather than feelings alone.

  • SECTION 3 — ACCESS

  • How I steward trust, boundaries, and influence.

  • 9. I allow people closer access to my life as they demonstrate trustworthiness and consistency.
  • 10. I am careful about how much influence I give someone before trust has been established.
  • 11. I adjust a person's level of access when trust is strengthened, damaged, or restored.
  • 12. I can establish and maintain healthy boundaries without being controlled by guilt, fear, or pressure.

  • Scoring

  • Step 1: Score Each Section

    Add the four responses in each section.

     

    • Foundation: Questions 1–4
    • Structure: Questions 5–8
    • Access: Questions 9–12

     

    Each section will have a score between 4 and 20.

     

    Step 2: Calculate Your Total

    Add all three section scores.

  • Understanding Your Score

  • Overall Relationship House

    51-60—Strong and Intentional
    Your responses reflect many healthy relational patterns. Continue strengthening your house and remaining attentive to areas that may still require growth.

     

    41-50—Healthy but Under Construction

    Your Relationship House has several areas of strength, along with patterns that would benefit from greater intentionality, wisdom, or consistency.

     

    31-40—Rooms Need Attention
    Some recurring patterns may be limiting the health and quality of your relationships. Honest awareness is an important first step toward renovation.

     

    12-30—Foundation Work Needed
    Your responses indicate that several underlying patterns, structures, or boundaries may need focused attention. This score is not a judgment; it is an invitation to begin rebuilding from a healthier place.

  • Overall Relationship House

    For Foundation, Structure, and Access, interpret each score as follows:

    17-20: Area of strength
    13-16: Generally healthy, with room to grow
    9-12: Needs intentional attention
    4-8: Significant rebuilding may be needed

     

    The section scores may be more helpful than the total score. Someone could have a strong overall score while still discovering that one particular area—such as access or boundaries—needs focused attention.

     

    This assessment is not a grade, a diagnosis, or a judgment of your character. It is a snapshot designed to help you recognize areas of strength and identify parts of your Relationship House that may need greater attention.

  • Should be Empty: