The ACM Relationship Reality Assessment™

ACM Relationship Reality Assessment™ Version 2.0

Reflect on your current relationship experience across key patterns, using a 5-point agreement scale—there are no right or wrong answers. If you are currently not in a relationship, answer the questions from when you were.
Participant Details
Full Name

First NameMiddle NameLast Name
Email
example@example.com
Date

MonthDayYear
2 digit month, 2 digit day, 4 digit yearDate
Relationship Status
Assessment: Limerence
I find myself thinking about this person even when I would prefer not to.
I replay conversations or interactions repeatedly.
I spend significant time imagining future scenarios involving this person.
My mood changes significantly based on contact from them.
It feels difficult to control how often I think about them.
Their approval strongly impacts how I feel about myself.
I feel distressed when they are unavailable.
I look for signs they care about me.
I feel unsettled when I don't know where I stand.
My wellbeing depends on how the relationship is progressing.
Assessment: Idealisation
I overlook red flags.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly Disagree, 5 is Strongly Agree
I believe they possess qualities that are difficult to find elsewhere.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly Disagree, 5 is Strongly Agree
I justify flaws that would concern me in others.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly Disagree, 5 is Strongly Agree
I dismiss concerns from trusted friends.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly Disagree, 5 is Strongly Agree
Assessment: Healthy Love
I appreciate this person's flaws and imperfections.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
I would still value them if a romantic relationship did not occur.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
My goals, wellbeing and friendships remain important regardless of this relationship.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
Thinking about this person generally makes me feel calm and grounded.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
Assessment: Attachment
I worry about being abandoned.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
I need reassurance to feel secure.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
I become anxious when people pull away.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
I fear rejection.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
Assessment: Self-Abandonment
I ignore my needs to maintain connection.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
I compromise my values to avoid conflict.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
I prioritise others over myself.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
I struggle to set boundaries.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
Assessment: Nervous System Activation
I feel anxious waiting for messages.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
My body feels activated when I don't hear from them.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
I experience racing thoughts about the relationship.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
I struggle to relax when uncertainty exists.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly disagree, 5 is Strongly agree
Assessment: Reality Testing
I focus more on potential than reality.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly Disagree, 5 is Strongly Agree
I imagine what the relationship could become.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly Disagree, 5 is Strongly Agree
I sometimes ignore contradictory evidence.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly Disagree, 5 is Strongly Agree
I find it difficult to assess compatibility objectively.

1

2

3

4

5

1 is Strongly Disagree, 5 is Strongly Agree
Reflection Questions
What need am I hoping relationships will fulfil?
What evidence supports the way I am viewing relationships?
What evidence challenges this view?
Where might I be abandoning myself to maintain connections?
What would it look like to choose myself while still being open to connection?
Relationship Health Score
Limerence Risk Score
Healthy Love Score
Healthy Love Score
Attachment Anxiety Score
Self-Abandonment Score
Nervous System Activation Score
Reality Testing Score
Should be Empty:

ACM Relationship Reality Assessment™ Version 2.0

Participant Details

Assessment: Limerence

Assessment: Idealisation

Assessment: Healthy Love

Assessment: Attachment

Assessment: Self-Abandonment

Assessment: Nervous System Activation

Assessment: Reality Testing

Reflection Questions