What’s Your Connection Type?
20 questions • About 5 minutes. For each question, choose the answer that feels most natural to you. There are no right or wrong answers. Don’t choose what you think you should do—choose what you’re naturally drawn to do. If you’re stuck between two or more answers, imagine someone else has the other options covered. Which one would you naturally choose for yourself?
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Part 1 of 4 — Beliefs & Values
Think about the beliefs, principles, and values that guide your life.
1. You’re listening to someone explain a deeply held belief that shapes many of the choices they make. What are you most naturally listening for?
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Whether their belief leaves room for growth as their experiences and understanding change.
How that belief affects the way they relate to and make room for other people.
The underlying principles they seem unwilling to compromise.
How the different parts of their belief fit together and shape the way they see the world.
Which parts of the belief they emphasize most strongly when explaining who they are.
2. Someone you respect makes a decision that seems inconsistent with something you’ve heard them strongly stand for. What stands out to you first?
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What may have changed in the circumstances or in the person's thinking.
The inconsistency between what they said they stood for and what they chose to do.
How the decision may affect the people who trust or depend on them.
Which part of the situation is receiving the most attention and which part may be getting overlooked.
Whether there is a larger context that would make the apparent contradiction make sense.
3. You are reconsidering a belief or principle that has guided you for a long time. What would matter most as you decide whether it still belongs in your life?
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Whether it still helps me understand my experiences and make sense of what I know.
Whether it helps me relate to people in a genuine and caring way.
Whether it still deserves my conviction based on what I know to be true.
What might become possible if I let the belief go.
Whether the things this belief tells me are important still hold the same weight in my life.
4. A conversation challenges something you have believed strongly for years, and you realize the challenge has merit. What are you most naturally inclined to do next?
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Sit with what I've heard and determine what I still believe is worth standing on.
Explore where this new possibility could lead if I allow myself to follow it.
Rework my understanding until the old and new information make sense within a clearer picture.
Talk it through with people whose experiences may help me understand what I cannot see from my own position.
Identify which idea now deserves greater attention and consciously redirect my focus toward it.
5. A group you care about is divided over an issue that touches deeply held values. Without being assigned a role, what contribution would you most naturally find yourself making?
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Helping people see where there may be room for movement, experimentation, or another way forward.
Helping clarify what the disagreement is really about and how the different positions relate to one another.
Making sure important principles aren't abandoned simply to make the disagreement disappear.
Helping people identify the part of the issue that most needs everyone's attention.
Creating enough relational space for people to speak honestly without being pushed outside the group.
Part 2 of 4 — Work & Responsibility
Now think about how you experience work, responsibilities, teams, and organizations.
6. You join a new team and quickly realize things don’t run as smoothly as they could. What are you most likely to notice first?
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Where people seem unsure about how their roles or responsibilities fit together.
Where the current way of doing things may be getting in the way of better possibilities.
Where important expectations or standards aren't being followed consistently.
Who seems comfortable contributing and who seems disconnected from the group.
Which priorities are getting the most attention and which ones are being overlooked.
7. A leader announces a major change in how your organization will operate. What are you most naturally paying attention to?
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How the change may affect the people who have to work within it every day.
What the change makes possible that wasn't possible before.
How the change affects existing roles, responsibilities, and how everything fits together.
What the organization is choosing to make a priority through the change.
What needs to remain dependable even while other things are changing.
8. You’re deciding whether a workplace, organization, or team is a good fit for you. What would matter most?
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Whether I can see how my role fits into what we're trying to accomplish.
Whether people can be themselves and feel like they belong.
Whether there are clear standards I can trust people to stand by.
Whether there is room to try new things and grow beyond how things are done now.
Whether thework we're doing prioritizes areas I naturally want to focus on.
9. You’re working on a project that has gotten off track. What are you most naturally inclined to do?
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Make sure the team doesn't lose the key requirements or standards the project depends on.
Find another approach that could get things moving again.
Help everyone get clear on where things stand and what connects to what.
Bring everyone's attention back to what matters most right now.
Get people talking so everyone can be heard and work together again.
10. When you’re part of a well-functioning team, what do you most naturally find yourself contributing?
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Helping the group adapt when something needs to change.
Helping people feel comfortable enough to participate and be themselves.
Helping everyone stay clear about how the pieces fit together.
Helping keep important standards and commitments from slipping.
Helping make sure the right things get noticed and receive attention.
Part 3 of 4 — Relationships
Now think about your close relationships and personal interactions.
11. You’re spending time with someone you know well, and something about them seems different. What are you most likely to notice first?
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Something that is normally important to them seems to be getting less attention or staying in the background.
They seem less comfortable being themselves around you.
Something about the way they're acting doesn't fit with what you know about them.
They seem to be questioning or moving away from something that was important to them before.
They seem less grounded in something they normally stand firmly on.
12. Two people you care about are having a disagreement. As you listen, what naturally stands out to you?
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Where they may be talking past each other or seeing the situation differently.
Where one or both may be holding too tightly to a position that could change.
What each person seems unwilling to compromise.
What each person most wants the other to understand or acknowledge.
Where either person may feel unheard, dismissed, or disconnected from the other.
13. When a relationship becomes important to you, what matters most in building a strong connection?
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Knowing we can be ourselves and feel accepted by each other.
Knowing what we can count on from each other.
Being able to understand where each other is coming from.
Having room for the relationship to grow and change as we do.
Knowing what matters to each of us and giving those things the attention they deserve.
14. Someone close to you tells you they’re going through a difficult time. What are you most naturally inclined to do?
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Help them see other possibilities or ways through what they're facing.
Give them room to talk openly and feel supported.
Help them sort through what's happening so the situation makes more sense.
Help them identify what matters most right now and keep their attention there.
Help them hold onto what they can rely on while things feel uncertain.
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15. In the relationships closest to you, what do you most naturally bring?
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A sense of what deserves attention and shouldn't be overlooked.
A willingness to explore change and new possibilities together.
A sense of stability and knowing what we can count on.
A way of helping us understand each other and see the bigger picture.
A space where people can relax, open up, and be themselves.
Part 4 of 4 — Groups & Community
Finally, think about how you experience groups, communities, and shared spaces.
16. You enter a gathering where you don't know many people. What are you most likely to notice first?
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Who seemscomfortable, included, or left out.
What seems to be getting everyone's attention.
How people seem to know where they fit and how the group works.
What unspoken rules or expectations people seem to be following.
Where there seems to be room for something different to happen.
17. A group or community you're part of starts changing in a noticeable way. What naturally catches your attention?
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Whether the change is opening up new possibilities for the group.
Whether people still seem to feel connected and included.
Which values or expectations seem to be holding steady and which are being lost.
How the change affects the way people relate to the group and to one another.
What the group is beginning to give more or less attention to.
18. When you decide whether a group or community is worth being part of, what matters most to you?
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Whether there's room for new ideas, growth, and change.
Whether I understand what the group is about and where I fit within it.
Whether the group stands for things I believe are worth protecting.
Whether people can participate and feel like they genuinely belong.
Whether the group gives attention to things I believe are important.
19. You’re part of a group conversation and realize something important is being missed. What are you most naturally inclined to do?
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Bring the overlooked issue into the conversation so people can focus on it.
Help connect the different points being made so everyone can see the larger picture.
Make room for perspectives or people that haven't been heard.
Question the assumptions shaping the conversation and introduce another possibility.
Bring the conversation back to the principles or expectations that shouldn't be lost.
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20. When you become part of a group or community, what do you most naturally contribute over time?
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Helping the group stay connected to the values and commitments that hold it together.
Helping people feel welcomed, included, and comfortable participating.
Helping the group see new possibilities and adapt when things need to change.
Helping people understand how things fit together and where they fit within the group.
Helping important people, ideas, or issues get the attention they deserve.
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