You've done the work. You know your patterns. So why do they keep running the show?
10 quick questions. Be honest. Nobody sees this but me.
When do you feel the most 'not enough'?
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Around other gay men
When a guy goes quiet or pulls away
Dating, or on the apps
In my relationship
With my family
When I think about getting older
Most of the time
At work
When I'm alone
In that moment, what does the voice in your head say?
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I'm not enough
I have to earn being liked
If they really knew me, they'd leave
I'm too old for this now
It's safer to keep my guard up
Something is wrong with me
I'm too much.
I'll end up alone.
Something else (type it here)
And then what do you usually do?
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Say yes when I mean no
Keep the peace, even when it costs me
Work harder to impress
Fix my body or my look so I feel worth it
Act like I don't care
Pull away before they can
Keep parts of me hidden
Replay it over and over in my head
Numb out (scroll, drink, keep busy)
Something else (type it here)
When a man gets close, what happens?
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I give more and more
I start testing him
I get anxious and overthink everything
I shut down or pull away
I end up with men who can't really show up
I don't let anyone get that close
I lose myself in him
Something else (type it here)
In your own words, what keeps happening? (Optional)
How long has this been going on?
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Less than a year
A few years
10+ years
As long as I can remember
What have you already tried?
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Therapy
Books, podcasts, or videos
Working on it on my own
Talking to friends
I can name my patterns. I still repeat them
Nothing yet
Coaching or courses
What has this pattern cost you so far?
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Relationships that could have worked
Years with the wrong man
Feeling truly close to anyone
Being fully myself with family or at work
My peace. I second-guess everything
Time I can't get back
My confidence at work
Friendships
Be honest. If nothing changes, where are you a year from now?
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I'll still be stuck in the same pattern. Just one year older
I'll still be alone, or still with the wrong man
I'll still be hiding parts of who I am
I'll be more tired and still stuck
I'm afraid to even think about it
Now picture a normal Tuesday a year from now. You trust yourself. You're not hiding. What's different?
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How ready are you to stop repeating this?
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I'm ready now
In the next few months
Just exploring for now
Almost done. Where should I send your results?
Your first name
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Your email address
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