• Take this Relationship Quiz to Start Changing the Negative Cycle in Your Relationship

    All couples get caught sometimes in “negative cycles” of interaction, despite both people's best intentions and efforts. You react to your partner’s reactions and your partner reacts to your reactions, and round and round you go in a feedback loop, with both of you hurting.

    There is always a lot more going on than you can see on the surface. If you each complete this exercise and compare your results, you can begin to understand the underlying feelings in both of you that drive your negative cycle, which is the first step toward climbing out of this distress.

    To better focus on the behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that matter the most to you, please choose no more than 5 options for each question or sentence completion.

  • Our Negative Cycle









  • Congratulations on taking a first step toward changing the negative cycle in your relationship! If you would like to receive a summary of your cycle by email, please enter your name and email below.

    If you would like to learn more about how to calm down your cycle, reconnect with each other, and recreate safety and closeness in your relationship, please email me or visit occounseling.net. I would be happy to talk with you about the options available to you, including self-help, couples workshops, and couples counseling.

  • Warmly,
    Betsy Walli Sadur
    (310) 504-1893

    ICEEFT-Certified EFT Therapist and Supervisor-in-Training
    Certified Discernment Counselor
    Board Member, Orange County Community for EFT

    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist #85860
    PhD Linguistics, MS Counseling

    betsy@occounseling.net

    1732 Aviation Blvd., #520
    Redondo Beach, CA 90278
    www.occounseling.net

    Copyright 2017-2022. Adapted by Betsy Walli Sadur, LMFT, from Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight Workshop by Sam Jinich & Michelle Gannon, and When We Are Not Getting Along by Douglas Tilley.

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