Six Steps to Wellness with Mindful Emotion Coaching

Caring for ourselves  with kindness and compassion involves paying attention to our bodies and minds as well as to our environment, including connections with other people.  This programme is all about relationships but regular exercise and balanced nutrition as well as quality sleep are also core parts of wellness.

We aim to support you to understand what happens in your brain when you feel overwhelmed or stressed out.  The six step is programme  is designed to support the wellness of young people, professionals, parents and carers. It is best  completed with someone you feel at ease and safe with (close friend, a member of your family or a trusted person at  school or work). Try and find time to look through the links below before you begin: 

• Dan Siegel’s Hand Model
• John Gottman's Emotion Coaching
• The Biology of Stress

You may find it helpful to listen to Dr Sarah Temple make the link between neuroscience and mindful activities.You can find out more by going to www.mindfulemotioncoaching.co.uk and accessing video clips and  a free e-learning portal.

Too scientific for you? Try  watching Amy talking about Dan Siegel’s Hand Model at www.thehandmodel.co.uk.

 

 1 : Noticing your warning signs

 2 : Noticing  moments of calm when you're feeling good

 3 : Noticing your environment 

 4 : Managing your emotions

 5 : Connecting with people and places

 6 : Identifying friends and family you can talk with

Need help now? You can call or email Samaritans 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org

  www.mindfulemotioncoaching.co.uk

Alpiri® EHCAP Ltd©

Getting to grips with the theory behind Mindful Emotion Coaching

 

Mindful Emotion Coaching is based on the extensive evidence base and practical learning materials created by Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University. We work with evidence based metaphors that are easy to remember and practical to use. By now you will know a bit about Dan Siegel's Hand Model and John Gottman's Emotion Coaching. How about also taking a look at the biology of stress using the model of positive, tolerable, toxic stress. 

Positive Stress is a normal and essential part of a healthy life where we are challenged by every day events. We may feel brief increases in heart rate or things like sweaty hands or even needing to rush to the loo!

Tolerable Stress activates the body’s alert systems to a greater degree as a result of more severe, longer lasting difficulties, such as the loss of a loved one, a natural disaster, or a frightening injury. If this doesn't last too long and is buffered by compassionate emotion coaching style relationships, the brain and other organs recover from what might otherwise be damaging effects.

Toxic Stress can occur when we experience strong, frequent , and / or prolonged adversity or difficulties without access to compassionate emotion coaching style relationships. This can include things like physical or emotional abuse, chronic neglect, caregiver substance abuse or mental illness, exposure to violence, and / or the accumulated burdens of family economic hardship and is much more common than we think. As a child experiencing this sort of prolonged activation of the stress response systems can disrupt the development of brain architecture, affect immune systems, hormonal systems and how DNA is read and expressed. In other words it can change how our cells work together. If you experienced toxic stress as a child you may find you more easily tip from tolerable to toxic stress as an adult.

This programme focuses on psycho-education tools that build skills and capabilities in emotion intelligence and executive function so that we can all learn to manage better situations that might otherwise trigger a toxic stress reaction.

This video clip from 'Circle of Security' explains how toxic stress can affect our ability to parent .

 1: Noticing your warning signs when your lid is starting to wobble 

Think about the last time you got really emotional and then think back to how you were feeling in the time leading up to that moment. Research by Paul Ekman tells us that all humans experience seven core emotions - Joy, Anger, Sadness, Disgust, Contempt, Surprise, Fear. Sometimes emotions overwhelm us and affect our behaviour. Learning to notice both feelings and physical changes will help you take action early and make changes. 

'All emotions are OK but not all behaviour is OK' Professor John Gottman

 

If you’re having trouble talking about your feelings and labelling your emotions it can help to work with a trusted adult such as a Parent Family Support Advisor(PFSA) or Family Support Worker. Close friends and family may also be in a good position to spot any changes that you might not be aware of. Here are some 'Noticing' handouts which we have designed for parents and carers of children in Early Years.

Handout One, Handout Two, Handout Three, Handout Four

 

SUGGESTIONS :

worrying about little things, not sleeping, more fussy than usual about food, heart rate up, sweaty, head aches, tummy pains, binge eating, feeling unusually tired, feeling anxious about everyday things, snappy with friends and family, difficulty getting organised or planning ahead, arguing with people, mood changes, struggling to keep up with usual things, feeling hopeless, feeling trapped, drinking alcohol or taking drugs to cope. 

2: Noticing your moments of calm when you're feeling good and your lid is down

When you're having thoughts or feelings that overwhelm you, it's easy to get caught up in the pain you're feeling and forget the positives in your life. Thinking about moments when you feel calm, happy and ‘tuned in’ may help you ‘bring your lid down’. Professor Dan Siegel talks about 'The River of Wellbeing' in The Whole Brain Child page 9. Try and feel what it's like to be peacefully floating along in a good relationship with the world around you - sometimes you will drift toward the bank of rigidity (lack of flexibility and adaptability) and sometimes toward the bank of chaos (total lack of control). This exercise is about noticing when you are feeling calm and content in the flow of the river. 

River of Wellbeing Handout

SUGGESTIONS:

taking a long bath, exercising, spending time with a close friend or family member, walking my dog, spending time with my parents, painting, drawing, pottery, being creative, my faith or spirituality, spending time with my pet, helping others, sitting still, walking slowly thinking about my feet on the ground, yoga, massage, meditation, mindful breathing, mindful eating

 3: Noticing your environment 

Having a safe space is important. This includes making the environment around you safer, or taking yourself out of unsafe situations or stressful situations (especially if it’s stress that goes on and on). 

 

  4: Managing your emotions

Talk through the things that help you feel calm and well. Can you fit more of these activities into your day? If an activity isn’t helping you, try another one.

You might also like to try some activities that other people found useful like doing some exercise, taking a shower or watching a favourite movie.

SUGGESTIONS

‘Name it to tame it’ Dan Siegel's Healthy Mind Platter

Work through the Wellness Wheel (page 9)

Go for a walk outside,  Do some exercise,  Play with a pet,  See a movie,  Watch a favourite film, YouTube clip or TV show, Listen to music,  Be creative (e.g. drawing, painting),  Write something,  Get outdoors,  Do some gardening,  Practice relaxation techniques like breathing exercises, mindfulness and meditation  Take some time out to treat myself to a small thing I usually enjoy,  Take a shower or bath

If you are super sensitive to taste, smells and you get anxious easily or have difficulty sleeping  you may want to find out about sensory integration – try things like a weighted sock on your lap or over your shoulders

5: Connecting with people and places

It can be hard to socialise when your emotions are all over the place or your lid is jammed up, but just being around other people can improve your mood.

Remember that connecting with others doesn’t necessarily have to be about talking and interacting. You could try going to a busy park or café, or invite a friend over to do an activity where you don’t have to make conversation, like watching a movie or playing sport.

 

“Much of today’s popular advice ignores the world of emotions.  Instead, it relies on child-rearing theories that address the children’s behaviour, but disregard the feelings that underlie that behaviour’ Professor John Gottman (1997)

SUGGESTIONS

Go to a busy park,  Invite a friend over to watch a film,  Spend some time in a café,  Go to the library,  Go to a sports match,  Go to a concert or live show

6: Identifying friends, family and professionals you can talk with

Write down here the names and contact phone numbers of people you feel really safe with – the people you go to when things are really tough. This may be your partner or your Mum or Dad, but it may be someone completely different.  It can be really helpful to share this plan with them and give them a copy.

Professional support is available at any time for any concern through the Samaritans on 116123. You can call if you are worried about someone else or if you are worried about yourself. Talking Therapies are an NHS provision in England - you can find your local service on the NHS 111 website and self refer.

The Mindful Wheel Game

Resources:

Flip Chart, Paper and Pens, Large dice, Plenty of space

Explain the activity to everyone.

Ask for a volunteer to start – he or she throws the dice and what ever number it lands on he/she then describes one of the steps of the wellness plan.

 

1 – Warning Signs- describe how you feel when your  lid is flapping – try and notice before you flip!

2 – Moments of calm (your lid is down)

3 – What you do to make your environment comfortable and safe

4 - Things you can do by yourself to bring your lid down e.g. SBNRR Stop, Breathe, Notice, Reflect, Respond

5 - People and places you enjoy connecting with- joining up with others, friends,        community, world, interconnectedness –  includes professionals 

6 –  Family, friends, colleagues and professionals you feel you can talk with

 

 

Mindful Wheel of Wellness

Practice focusing attention – sit upright in a chair with both feet on the floor. Focus firstly at a distant wall, then a middle space and then close as if reading a book. Bring your attention to your breath and breathe slowly in and out. You may find it helpful to put a hand on your tummy while doing this.

Now imagine a wheel where the hub is you in when you are content with your lid down and the tyre is the outer part of the wheel beyond the spokes where the many parts of you exist. Take your mind through the different areas around the tyre practicing shifting focus to more positive rim points until you find yourself in the hub of wellness.  Breathe and relax.

 

Body Sensations- the first five senses- touch, taste, smell, sight, hearing

Images – memories of past experiences, dreams

Feelings – developing an expanding language of emotions

Thoughts- learning to pay attention to thoughts understanding that you don’t have to believe every one of them

Mindful Meditation on Vimeo with Sarah

Professional support

Professional support is always available when things become too much.

Talking Therapies provides NHS funded open access psychological support. remember, if one service doesn’t work for you, try another. In an emergency, always call triple nine (999).

This form is based on suicide prevention safety planning created by BeyondBlue

•             Samaritans - Whatever you're going through, free any time, from any phone on 116 123

•           Papyrus Suicide Prevention Hope Line UK – call 08000684141 or  text 07786209697

 

ACTION PLAN - Caring for ourselves  with kindness and compassion involves paying attention to our bodies and minds as well as to our environment, including connections with other people.

The Intellectual Property for this programme belongs to EHCAP Ltd ©. The trade mark for the Six Steps to Wellness Programme and the MACE Approach is Alpiri® .