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  • Attachment Style Assessment

    This Attachment Assessment is designed to illuminate your attachment style tendencies so you can become more aware of your current connection patterns and then heal toward more secure bonding.  It is not intended merely to label you as a fixed identity.   

    You can expect for this assessment to take about 10 minutes to complete.

    Please enter your name and email address below to receive your full results and save them for your records.

  • Attachment Assessment

    While your attachment can impact all of your relationships and sometimes fluctuate slightly depending on the attachment style of who you are relating with, this assessment is desigend to gauge your overall bonding tendencies in romantic partnership. 

    For each statement, please move the slider bar to correspond with the number on a scale of 0-10 that best represents how true the statement is for you with your current romantic partner (if together more than 10 years) or in the context of your past 3 romantic relationship partners. 

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Relying On Each Other

  • I am able to trust and rely on my romantic partner.
  • My romantic partner(s) know through experience that they can trust and rely on me.  
  • I trust that my partner will usually be emotionally available and respond positively when I reach for connection.
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Connection

  • I feel comfortable disclosing my inner world and feeling open, emotionally close and connected to my romantic partner.
  • I am able to reach for connection through touch, eye contact, conversation and reassurance when I want to connect and in times of distress.
  • I am able to sense my partner’s reaches for connection and positively respond with touch, eye contact, reassurance and availability.
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Secure Solo & Together

  • I do not fear commitment, being smothered or the loss of freedom by being in romantic relationship.
  • I enjoy being open, close and connected when we are together and feel secure when we are apart for periods of independent solitude.
  • I can feel securely connected to my partner, while still being individuated and free without having to get away, merging, or sacrificing my life (values, work, hobbies, friends, health, spiritual practice, etc.)
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Secure Relationship

  • I believe in and tend to have relatively loving, satisfying and enduring romantic relationships.
  • I feel secure in our bond, know we love each other and do not worry about being abandoned or rejected.
  • Our relationship feels like a secure base that allows me to both be independent in pursuing my personal passions and career success in the world as well as deeply connected when together.
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Worry

  • I spend a lot of time and energy worrying about my romantic relationship.
  • I worry whether my partner really loves me or values me as much as I do.
  • I worry about being rejected, abandoned or not loved.
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Closeness

  • I want to be in constant proximity and communication with my romantic partner.
  • I have difficulty being alone.
  • I can be clingy and overly dependent on my partner.
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Attention

  • I can feel frustrated, sad and alone when my partner is not around or giving me the attention that I need.
  • I worry about getting the level of attention and connection that I need from my partner.
  • I frequently crave and seek attention, connection and confirmation that I am loved.
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Self-Esteem

  • I struggle with low self-esteem and feeling not good enough.
  • I seek approval and reassurance from other’s and can be overly pleasing.
  • I tend to view others positively, but can be insecure and self-critical with myself.
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Ambivalence

  • I have mixed feelings about connection: both fears of being abandoned and struggles with being too close.
  • I feel confused about connection and conflicted about what I want.  I tend to be either ambivalently "half in" relationship or avoid close connection altogether.
  • If I am in a relationship, I can feel hesitant, doubtful or conflicted about it.
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Bonding Can Be Unsafe

  • I fear being harmed, rejected or abandoned, so I maintain a certain emotional distance with others.
  • It seems like the person I want to go towards for safety could be the same person that hurts or tries to control me.
  • As a kid I felt afraid, unsafe, or harmed so I learned to detach from feelings or limit emotional closeness to prevent getting hurt.
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Emotionally Closed

  • I invest little emotional energy in social and romantic relationships.
  • I feel reluctant to emotionally open up to others.
  • I am unable or unwilling to communicate my deeper feelings.
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Misaligned

  • When I am in close proximity to someone I don’t want to get too close, but I also don’t want them to go away, so I never feel at ease with connection. 
  • Romantic relationship is not easy for me, I either avoid close connection altogether or if I am in a relationship I tend to me kind of ambivalently “half in”.
  • My life does not feel balanced and I often feel like my timing is off.
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Hyper-independence

  • I prefer to not need or depend on others, nor have others depend on me.
  • Whether I am in romantic relationship or not, I can be fine on my own.
  • I highly value freedom, independence and self-reliance, and have learned it is better to take care of my own needs, so that I don’t have to rely on others.
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Avoidance of Emotion / Vulnerability

  • I am uncomfortable being vulnerable and disclosing my inner thoughts and feelings. 
  • I am uncomfortable with emotions in myself or my partner.
  • I am able to protect my vulnerability and too much connection by hiding my feelings, shutting down emotionally or stifling other's emotions. 
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Fear of Commitment / Losing Freedom

  • I have a fear of commitment and really being fully “in” relationship.
  • I hate being controlled and connection can feel smothering or it can have me feel like I need to get away to get relief and maintain my freedom. 
  • I can easily detach from people emotionally and I am usually the one who ends a relationship. I don’t let myself be committed, so I do not fear being abandoned. 
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Difficulty Trusting

  • I highly value freedom, independence and self-reliance, and have learned it is better to take care of my own needs, so that I don’t have to rely on others.
  • I prefer to not need or depend on others, nor have others depend on me. 
  • Deep down, I don’t know if I could really trust someone to let them all the way into my heart.  
  • Attachment Assessment

    0 = very false 6 = somewhat true
    2 = false 8 = true
    4 = somewhat false 10 = very true
    5 = neutral  

    0 = very false | 2 = false | 4 = somewhat false | 5 = neutral | 6 = somewhat true | 8 = true | 10 = very true

  • Limiting Closeness

  • I tend to subtly avoid emotional closeness or limit prolonged connection.
  • When my partner is needy or tries to get too close, I find myself repulsed, pulling away or maintaining some distance.
  • I tend to feel relief in the space just after parting from being in close proximity with someone or initially after ending a relationship.
  • Attachment Style Results

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  • Based upon assessment results, you might have a tendency towards a{secure_outcome}{anxious_outcome}{ambivalent_outcome}{avoidant_outcome} attachment style.

  • Attachment Assessment

  • Contact Details

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