Below is a picture of the Relationship Attachment Model (RAM). This is a picture of the bonds in a relationship. If the slider is moved up, it indicates a stronger feeling of closeness, likewise a lower slider indicates less feelings of closeness.

The following scales are looking at how close you feel in each of the five areas of the RAM. A score of 9 indicates your IDEAL level of closeness in that particular area of your relationship. Lower scores indicate lower levels of closeness. 

IF YOU ARE SINGLE & NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP: please answer this section thinking about how you tend to  experience these areas in your relationships

IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP: answer this section thinking about your CURRENT levels of closeness in these areas.

Know: This area indicates how much you factually know another. The range of how much you know another is determined by the extent of self-disclosure, the number of experiences you have had with this person in diverse settings and dispositions (e.g. happy, angry, stressful, conflictual, etc.), and the amount of time you have had together in your relationship.

Trust: This area indicates how much trust you experience in a relationship with another. Trust is a range of confidence you feel about another based on what you believe about that person. It includes the attitude you hold toward that person, and your overall opinion of this person’s trustworthiness.

Rely: his area indicates the range of need fulfillment and the amount of reliance you experience in a given relationship. Reliance is a measure of the extent that this person meets your needs and/or you meet this person’s needs. Needs that may be met may include: financial, emotional, companionship, status, affection, etc.

Commit: This area indicates how much commitment you experience in your relationship. Commitment is defined as both the status of your relationship (e.g. best friend, spouse, acquaintance, son or daughter, etc.) and also as the degree of loyalty, obligation, and responsibility for another. This includes the extent you make this person a priority and/or this person makes you a priority.

Touch: This area indicates how much touch you experience in your relationship. Depending on the type of relationship, touch can represent anything from shaking hands with a stranger, to expressions of affection like hugs, to sexual activity. This area is not just about the physical expressions of touch in your relationship, but also the overall sense of closeness (or attraction) you feel in terms of the touch and affection in your relationship.

Thank you so much. We will work as hard as we can to get this answered on the blog! Stay tuned.