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How Secure & Connected Do You Feel in Your Relationship—Really?
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15
Questions
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1
When conflict shows up in your relationship, what usually happens first?
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I feel anxious or panicky and try to fix it fast
I shut down or pull away to avoid making it worse
We both escalate quickly and say things we regret
We pause and come back grounded most of the time
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2
When your partner is upset, what happens inside you?
I assume I did something wrong
I feel responsible for fixing their emotions
I get defensive or overwhelmed
I can stay present without spiraling
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3
How safe do you feel expressing your true thoughts and needs?
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I usually hold them in
I share, but then second-guess myself
It depends on their mood, but then I am able to share openly when the time is right.
I feel safe being honest, even when it’s hard
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4
After a disagreement, how often does real repair happen?
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Rarely — it gets avoided
Eventually, but it takes a long time
Sometimes, but not consistently
We repair and reconnect intentionally
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5
When you feel triggered, how aware are you of what’s happening in your body?
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Not aware at all — I just react
I notice afterward
I notice it in the moment but don’t know what to do
I notice and can regulate myself
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6
Which statement feels most true for you?
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I often feel “too much” in relationships
I worry I’m not enough
I feel secure sometimes, anxious other times
I feel grounded in who I am, even in conflict
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7
How responsible do you feel for other people’s emotions?
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Almost always—it feels like my job
Often—I feel uneasy if others are upset
Sometimes—I try to help when I can
Rarely—I trust God with what isn’t mine
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8
When your needs aren’t met, what usually happens?
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I feel anxious and overthink everything
I pull away or shut down
I sometimes let my anger come out in ways I don’t mean to
I can say what I need calmly
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9
How do boundaries feel to you?
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They make me feel guilty
I am not really sure what healthy boundaries look like
I know they are important, but they are hard for me to stick with.
They are supportive and help protect my peace
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10
When someone crosses a line or hurts you, you usually…
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Address it calmly and respectfully
Let it go to avoid tension
Overthink it and blame yourself
Pull away to protect your heart
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11
What role does faith play in how you view your relationships? (these don’t count toward your score—but they
do
matter)
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My relationship are rooted in my faith in Jesus.
I believe in Christ, but I struggle to fully trust His plan for me.
I want to have stronger faith, but I often feel unworthy or uncertain.
My faith isn’t a major factor in my relationships
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12
Which of these best describes you? (these don’t count toward your score—but they
do
matter)
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I’m dating or in a newer relationship
I’m married or in a long-term relationship
I’m in a relationship that feels uncertain or strained
I’m currently single but healing from a past relationship
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13
First Name
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14
Email
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example@example.com
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15
Terms and Conditions & Privacy Policy
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16
Your Total Score
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