Weekly Check-In Worksheet

Name

First NameLast Name

Date

By practicing these effective communication skills in your co-parenting relationship, you can enhance your ability to work together, resolve conflicts, and co-parent more effectively for the benefit of your children.

Active Listening:

Practice listening attentively to your co-parent and/or child without interrupting or formulating your response while they are speaking or texting. Show empathy and understanding by reflecting back on what you have heard to ensure you are accurately interpreting their message.

I practiced active listening. I did not react; instead, I showed empathy and understanding by reflecting on what I heard to make sure I accurately understood what the other person was communicating.

How many times this week did you practice active listening?

Give one example of when you practiced active listening.

Use "I" Statements:

Using "I" statements to take ownership of your own emotions and perspectives. For example, instead of saying "You always" try:

"I feel...when..."
Because… I want
I will..
I request..
I suggest..
I am willing...
I am not willing...
I think...
I am willing to give it a try...
I believe..
I need some help with ..
I have a suggestion..
I appreciate I notice

How many times this week did you use I statements?

Give one example of when you practiced using I statements:

Avoid Blame and Judgment:

Refrain from assigning blame, criticizing, or judging your co-parent during conversations. Focus on expressing your thoughts and feelings without resorting to attacks or accusations.

Follow the Four Agreements

1. Don't take things personally.

2. Do your personal best

3. Don't make assumptions.

4. Use your word impeccably. (Replace negative thinking with positive intentions)

On a scale from 1 to 10, When assessing your co-parenting behavior this week, consider these principles based on the "Four Agreements."

You might rate yourself closer to a ten if you uphold these principles. If you notice any gaps, identify areas for improvement. Continuous improvement is key to being a great co-parent.

For additional support, read Don Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements." I highly recommend you keep a copy for the whole family to read.

1. First Agreement: Be Impeccable With Your Word: On a scale from 1 to 10, how well did you communicate respectfully and positively, avoiding negative talk about the other parent?

1- 10 Self Evaluation

2. Second Agreement Don't Take Anything Personally: On a scale from 1 to 10, how well did you stay calm and avoid taking criticism to heart?

The Third Agreement: Don't Make Assumptions. On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate your efforts to ensure clear communication and avoid jumping to conclusions about the other parent's intentions? If you've actively worked on asking questions, seeking clarification, and maintaining open dialogue, you might consider a higher rating.

Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Personal Best: Did you genuinely strive to be kind and supportive in your co-parenting role? If you feel you upheld these principles, you might rate yourself closer to a 10.

I managed to keep all my communication proactive instead of reactive

Yes, all of the timeYes, most of the timeNo

Give one example of when you practiced responding instead of reacting:

Be Clear and Specific:

Clearly communicate your expectations, boundaries, and preferences in a direct and specific manner. Avoid vague or ambiguous language that can lead to confusion or misunderstandings.

I am able to reduce my words and keep my conversation short, polite and to the point.

Yes, all of the timeYes, most of the timeNo

If you answered no, please explain why you were not able to use short, polite conversation:

Set Boundaries:

To maintain effective communication with your co-parent, establish clear boundaries and adhere to them. Define off-limit topics, preferred communication methods, and unacceptable behaviors. Avoid phrases like "you always" or "you never"; instead, focus on current issues and solutions.

For example, if late pickups are a problem, you might say: "Today, I was late to work because the kids were picked up 15 minutes late. I'll arrange a babysitter if the kids aren’t picked up by 7:00 am to prevent this. The babysitter charges $20 per hour for a full hour. I hope we can work together. Thank you."

This approach emphasizes solutions and respectful communication.

I remain mindful of only discussing things I can change or control now by only discussing with the other parent things in the present or future that will benefit our child(ren). All topics about the past are off the table. Every conversation is a new start for creating workability and ease for our child(ren).

Yes, all of the timeYes, most of the timeNo

On a scale from 1 to 10 rank yourself on how mindful you were about staying in the present?

Practice Empathy:

Put yourself in your co-parent's shoes and try to understand their perspective, feelings, and needs. Reflect empathy and compassion in your communication to foster understanding and connection.

Examples:

I can understand how difficult this is for you.
Would you like a suggestion?
What have you tried?
I understand you are upsest about this.
What can I do to help?

How many times this week did you practice compassion?

Give one example of when you practiced being understanding.

Stay Calm and Respectful:

Keep your tone of voice and body language calm and respectful, even during challenging conversations. Maintain a composed demeanor and avoid escalating conflicts through hostile or aggressive communication.

How many times this week did you practice self control?

Give one example of when you practiced self-control: What did you do? What was the outcome? How did it make you feel?

Focus on Solutions:

Collaborate with your co-parent to brainstorm solutions, compromises, and agreements that address your shared responsibilities and the best interests of your children. Keep the focus on problem-solving rather than blame or confrontation.

How many times this week did you focus on a solution instead of blame?

Give one example of being solution focused:

Check-In Regularly:

To effectively manage co-parenting, it's essential to maintain open and regular communication. Here are some reminders for how to communicate with your co-parent:

1. Schedule Regular Check-Ins: Set aside time for regular check-ins using an AppClose. During these meetings, discuss co-parenting matters and promptly address any issues.

2. Keep the Conversation Child-Centered: Prioritize conversations about the children. Share updates, concerns, and anything pertinent to their well-being and development.

3. Share Information and Successes: Talk about parenting strategies you’ve read about or techniques you’ve tried that have been successful. Sharing experiences can foster collaboration and help you support each other.

4. Discuss Routines: Make it a point to discuss and align morning and bedtime routines. Research shows that kids benefit from consistent structures and routines. Having similar procedures at both homes can provide a sense of stability for the children.

5. Prioritize Transparency and Collaboration: Keep communication open, honest, and respectful. Transparency helps build trust and collaborate for the children's best interests.

6. Address Issues Constructively: If issues arise, address them calmly and constructively. Focus on finding solutions together rather than placing blame.

Following these guidelines will create a more harmonious co-parenting relationship that ultimately benefits your children.

How would you rate yourself on a scale from 1 to 10 on how quickly and effeciently you responded to your co-parent this week?

Set a scheduled time to discuss non emergency issues. What time works best for you? Cordinate a time. Example between 5:00 pm and 6:00 unless it is urgent.

Seek Feedback and Validation:

Encourage and provide feedback to your co-parent to ensure that your communication is clear and effective. Validate their feelings and perspectives to show respect and empathy in your interactions.

How many times this week did you make the other parent feel understood?

Give one example of when you listened to understand. Then share what you heard so the other parent feels validated.