Conflicts make more sense when you understand the emotions that motivate
people’s behavior. To get an idea of how Mixed Emotions cards can help you resolve a conflict, use this video and the checklist below.

1. Dial in your mindset

Chances are good that someone has violated a boundary and you're angry about that now. Do NOT proceed until you can approach this discovery process with genuine curiosity. 

Assume that no one intended to hurt you and that they'd be saddened to know that they have.

2. Describe the conflict

3. Identify how you feel

Go through the deck in the video. As you do, check the boxes below that represent how the conflict makes you feel.

Then ask the person you're in conflict with to do the same.

3. Gain understanding

Notice the emotions the two of you share and talk about those first. For example, "You're afraid? Me too. What scares you in this situation?"

Then ask questions about the emotions that surprise you. For example: "Tell me about what's making you feel powerless."

Identify a few things that would help you both feel better. If you're not sure which option to pursue, use the video again, along with and the decision-making version of this checklist to decide which of those options you feel best about.

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Discount code

There are many more ways to use the cards. If you'd like a deck of your own, use the code EMOTIONS=ALLIES at mixed-emotions.com for a 15% discount and free shipping within the United States.