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TOPICS OF CONCERN LIST

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Phase 1- “Acquaintance Phase”

/ “Take Time to Get to Know Them” Phase .........23

(52 Topics)

1. Abuse History ..................25
2. Active Listening.............................26
3. Addictions (Drugs) .....................27
4. Affirmations...........................................28
5. Alcohol and Drug Questions..................29-34
6. All About You “Your Past..................35-41
7. Attractions..............................42
8. Anger..............................43
9. Anger Levels.........................44-45
10.Appetite..................................46
11.Autonomy...................................47
12.Basic Information......................48-51
13.Boundaries........................................52
14.Cleanliness........................53
15.Communication...........................................54
16.Dignity........................................55
17.Disagreements.......................................56
18.Empathy......................................57
19.Exercise.............................................58
20.Family Issues..........................59-60
21.Family and Social Relations.......................61-63
22.Friends...............................64-66
23.Goals....................................67-68
24.Gratitude........................................69-70
25.Health...................................71
26.Integrity..................................72-73
27.Insomnia (Sleep Problems)...................74-76
28.Intimacy.......................................77-79
29.Interests..............................80-82
30.Legal Status Questions....................83-86
31.Listening Skills.........................87-89
32.Medical.........................................90-92
33.Medical Issues.................................94
34.Mental Health...............................95-97
35.Motivation..................................98-100
36.Mutual Support..............................101-102
37.Outlook..........................................103
38.Past, The.........................................104
39.Perceptions.................................105-106
40.Problem Solving .......................107-108
41.Psychiatric Status ........................109-111
42.Reciprocity.............................................112
43.Relational Time...........................113
44.Rock Bottom.....................................114
45.Self-Esteem...........................115-119
46.Separation/Divorce...................................120-123
47.Strengths.............................................124
48.Stress........................................125-129
49.Toxic People................................130-132
50.Trust............................................133-135
51.Vehicles (Cars, Trucks, ETC) ...................136
52.What Do You Want .......................137-138

Phase 2

“Tell Me More About You“

......................139
(63 Topics)

1. Abuse History ...............................141-142
2. Active Listening ........................................143
3. Affirmation ...................................................144
4. Anxiety .......................................145
5. Attraction ............................146-147
6. Autonomy ...................................148
7. Basic Questions ...............................149-150
8. Boundaries.........................................151
9. Career ............................................152
10.Cheating ..................................153
11.Childhood History ..........................154
12.Dating ...............................155-157
13.Depression............................................158
14.Difficult Relatives....................159
15.Dignity ........................................160
16.Empathy...............................................161
17.Engagement..............................162
18.Family Issues...........................163-170
19.Food Issues........................................171
20.Finances..........................................172-173
21.Finances and Us................174-175
22.Financial Questions.......................176-177
23.Finances and Money.................178-179
24.Future, The.............................180
25.Gay (Homosexual) Issues -Sexual Orientation....181
26.Generosity..................................182
27.Goals.............................................183
28.Housing .................................184
29.Illness.....................................185
30.Integrity..................................186
31.Interests......................................187
32.Intentions..................................188
33.Intimacy.....................................189
34.It’s Complicated Relationships..............190
35.Marriage.....................................191-193
36.Money................................194-195
37.Money Troubles...............................196
38.Money Issues-Wealth vs Poverty..............197-198
39.Motivation.............................................200
40.Mutual Support...........................201
41.Open Relationships....................202
42.People Living With You...................203
43.Present, The................204-206
44.Past Relationships....................207-208
45.Past, The..........................209
46.Psychiatric Status ...........................210
47.Relational Time..................................211
48.Resources.......................................212
49.Romance....................................213
50.Self Focused..............................214
51.Sex.....................................215-216
52.Sexual Questions......................217-219
53.Sex-STD’s................................220
54.Sex History..........................221-222
55.Sex Problems..................................223
56.Strengths.................................224
57.Sustainability...................................225
58.Traveling...................................226
59.Trust................................227
60.Weaknesses.......................................228
61.Weight Issues...............229
62.Work/ Employment...............230-235
63.Personal Self-Questions................236-239

Phase 3 “I Think I Like You and Want to Keep You in My Life”.................241

Future, The................................242-244

Phase 4 “Exit InnerView” (The Relationship Ended) ....245-248

Personal Self-Questions for THEM ...........249-254
Sudoku.................................255-258

A Word of Encouragement ..................259
End Blank Note Pages ...............260-264
References, Websites and Disclaimer ...........265-267

PHASE 1
QUESTIONS LIST
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1. Abuse History - Page 25 of 269
1. Have you ever hit and or abused any biological brothers or sisters or non-biological people or animals in any way?
2. Have you ever hit and or abused any other person or people before?
3. Have you ever hit and or abused any animals at any time?
4. Were you ever hit on or whipped when you were growing up?
5. If you have children do you now or have you ever whipped and or abused your child or children?
6. Were you ever abused mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually, financially, and or neglected growing up or suffered any unknown abuses?
7. Have you ever abused anyone mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually, financially, and or neglected anyone when you were growing up or gave any unknown abuses?
2. Active Listening - Page 26 of 269
1. Do you actually listen to a person when they are talking?
2. Did your parents ever actually listen to you often or did they ignore you most of the times?
3. Do you ever pretend to listen when a person is talking and /or then respond back as though you were listening? 4. Do you now or have you ever rudely interrupted a person while they were talking and or not care about what that person was talking about?
5. Have you ever taken any Effective Communication trainings or gained any Effective Communication skills before?
3. Addictions (Drugs) - Page 27 of 269
1. What is your take on Addiction and Recovery?
2. Have you been in a controlled environment in the past 30 days?
3. Have you ever been to jail, the penitentiary or prison or any type of Correctional Facility? If so for how many days/months/ or years? Why were you in there?
4. Did you participate in any homosexual activities?
5. If you have stopped doing alcohol and or any types of substances are you in recovery and how do you view recovery?
4. Affirmations - Page 28 of 269
1. Do you believe in being a positive moral Encourager or Supporter?
2. How important is it to you to be a positive Authentic Support System?
3. Do you or have you ever taken advantage of someone with low Self-Esteem who needs constant affirmation?
4. Do you think “Affirming” another person is “Silly” or “Stupid”?
5. Alcohol and Drugs - Page 29 –31 of 269
1. How many times have you had Alcohol DT (Delirium Tremens) shaking, severe disorientation, fever, hallucinations?
2. How many times have you overdosed on drugs?
3. How many times in your lifetime have you been treated for Alcohol abuse?
4. How many times in your lifetime have you been treated for Drug abuse?
5. How many times were detox only?
6. How much money would you say you spent during the past 30 days on Alcohol?
7. How much money would you say you spent during the past 30 days on Drugs? What drugs?
8. How many days have you been treated in an outpatient setting for alcohol or drugs in the past 30 days?
9. Do you live with anyone who has a current alcohol problem? 0-No 1-Yes
10. Do you live with anyone who uses non-prescribed drugs? 0-No 1-Yes
11. Have you used the following in the past 30 days or any of your lifetime? * Alcohol (any use) * Heroin * Methadone * Other Opiates/Analgesics * Barbiturates * Other * edatives/Hypnotics/Tranquilizer * Cocaine * Amphetamines * Cannabis * Hallucinogens * Inhalants * More than 1 substance per day
12. Which substance was the major problem?
13.How long was your last period of voluntary abstinence from this major substance?
14. How many months ago was this abstinence?
15. How many days in the past 3 days have experienced:
16. Alcohol problems? 17. Drug problems? 18. How troubled or bothered have you been in the past 30 days by these: 19. Alcohol problems?
20. Drug problems? How important is treatment for these? 21. Alcohol problems 22. Drug problems?-
Page 31 of 269
23. How many times in your life have you been charged with the following? * Disorderly conduct, panhandling, public intoxication___ * Driving while intoxicated___ * Major driving violations___
24. How important to you now is treatment or counseling for these: 25. Family problems ____ 26. Social Problems_______ 27. Have any of your blood- related relatives had what you would call a significant drinking, drug use or psychiatric problem?
(For Questions #27-28 on next - Page)
5. Alcohol and Drugs - Page 32 of 269
28. Specifically, was there a problem that did or should have led to a cure? Mother’s Side - Father’s Side - Siblings -Alcohol/ Drug/ Psych - Grandmother ___ /__/___ Grandfather ___ /__/___ Mother ___ /__/___ -Aunt ___ / __/ ___ Uncle ___ / __/ ___ Alcohol/ Drug/ Psych --Grandmother __ /__/___ Grandfather ___ /__/___ -Mother ___ /__/___ - Aunt ___ / __/ ___ -Uncle ___ / __/ ___ - Alcohol/ Drug/ Psych -Brother ___ / __/ __
Sister ___ / __/ ___ -FAMILY History
5. Alcohol and Drugs- Page 33 of 269
3.How many days in the past 30 days have you used (any of the following list below?
34.How many years in your life have you regularly used (any of the following list below?
6. All About You -Your Past- Page 35 of 269
1. Have you in the past done any types of drugs and or alcohol and do you do any now?
2. If you have stopped doing alcohol and or any types of substances are you in recovery and how do you view recovery?
3. Are you from here? Where were you originally born and raised?
4. What are your Favorite foods?
5. What do you like to do for fun?
6. Where do you see yourself in 1, 5, and 10 years from now?
7. Do you prefer to date people of specific ethnicities, cultures, religions? Why?
8. What is your religion or spiritual beliefs and background?
9. What is your shoe size? 10.What size clothes do u wear?
11.What types of cologne do you wear?
12.What is your horoscope sign and what is your birthday?
13.Do you like to work out and or eat healthy?
14.Do you have a vehicle?
6. All About You -Your Past- Page 36 of 269
5.What types of books do you like to read, and have you read?
16.Do you like to read?
17.Do you like going out or to the movies? What type?
18.Where do u stay or live?
19.Who do stay with or who lives or stays with you?
20.Tell me about yourself?
1.Do you prefer to date people of specific ethnicities, cultures, religions? Why?
22.What is your religion or spiritual beliefs and background?
23.Have you ever had a child, or any children taken away from you such as with DFACS or a protective child service or in any other way?
24.Have you ever just looked at your phone when a person was calling you and avoided answering it when you were actually free to take that call?
25.Tell me about your last 3-5 relationships?
6. All About You -Your Past- Page 37 of 269
26.Have you ever been emotionally, mentally, sexually, psychologically, financially, physically abusive to any one in your past?
27.How do you feel about your mother?
28.How do you feel about your father?
29.How do you feel about your family?
30.How do you feel about your siblings?
31.If you found my sister/brother more attractive than me how would you handle this situation?
32.How important is commitment to you in an exclusive relationship?
33.Do you have children?
34.If so, how many?
35.Do you pay child support or contribute in any way to your child/ren’s wellbeing?
36.Are you married?
37.Have you ever been married? 38.If so, tell me about your past marriage and why did it end?
6. All About You -Your Past- Page 38 of 269
39.What is your opinion or attitude about being single?
40.What is your attitude about being married?
41.Have your friends’ opinions or beliefs ever influenced you?
42.Have you ever cheated?
43.What is your attitude regarding cheating?
44.Why didn’t you marry your Baby or (Babies) momma?
45.Do you like to make people suffer?
46.Have you ever reassigned your gender? (Were you born a girl or a boy?)
47.Can I see your original birth certificate and baby pictures?
48.What is your take on Addiction and Recovery?
50. How do you feel about being and eating healthy?
51. How do feel about eating pork? 52. How long do you think that you should know a person before you consider yourself in a relationship?
6. All About You -Your Past- Page 39 of 269
53. Do you have children? If so, how many do you have? If more than one how many Baby Momma’s (Daddy’s) do you have?
54. Do you and your ex or baby’s momma (daddy’s) get along?
55. On a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being the worst and 10 being great, how would you rate your past relationships?
56. Describe the past 3-5 relationships that you have been in?
57. Do you spend time with your children and if so how much time do you spend?
58. How do you feel about cats or other animals or pets?
59. What gender are you and what was your assigned gender from birth?
60. How long have you lived at your current address?
61. What is your date of birth? 62. What is your horoscope sign?
63. What race do you consider yourself to be?
64. Do you have a religious preference?
6. All About You -Your Past- Page 40 of 269
65. Have you been in a controlled environment in the past 30 days?
66. Have you ever danced at a Strip Club (Gentlemen’s or Ladies Club etc.)?
67. Have you ever been in a Strip Club (Gentlemen’s or Ladies Club etc.)?
68. Have you ever killed or murdered someone?
69. Have you ever killed an animal on purpose?
70. How do you feel about Horror movies?
71. How do you feel about Romance movies?
72. Who is your favorite actor or actress?
73. Who is your favorite singing Artist?
74. Have you ever tried to control another person or animal?
75. Was your father constantly in your life?
76. Was your mother smothering when you were growing up or your father constantly absent?
77. Have you ever made empty promises? Tell me more and why?
78. Have you ever done “Smoke screen effects” appearing to be a good person or something or someone you are not? Why? Or why not?
7. Attractions- Page 42 of 269
1. How is your behavior with other women when the woman (same or opposite sex) you like is around?
2. How do you behave with other women (same or opposite sex) you like when your Significant Other is not around?
3. What kind of woman (same or opposite sex) do you prefer to have in your life?
4. Are you attracted to the opposite sex or your same sex or both?
5. If you found my sister more attractive than me how would you handle this situation?
6. What would you do if my sister or another family member flirted with you or came on to you?
8. Anger Issues- Page 43 of 269
1. Do you ever know what you are really angry about?
2. How do you sort out who is responsible when you’re angry?
3. How do you handle your anger?
4. Are you destructive when you are angry?
5. Do you ever feel like other people cause you to get angry?
6. Do you ever feel like another person’s anger is valid?
7. What do you usually get angry about?
8. Do you ever apologize for your anger or any destruction because of your anger?
9. Anger Levels- Page 44 of 269
1. How quick are you to get angry?
2. What gets you angry?
3. What would make you feel enraged?
4. Are you always honest about your anger?
5. Do you ever reflect after calming down from your anger?
6. How do you handle your emotions?
7. Do you still feel anger from your past?
8. Do you “fly off the handle” easily?
9. Do you hold your anger in?
10.Do you get angry a lot?
11.Do you have a temper?
10. Appetite- Page 46 of 269
1. Do you “eat” people out of a “house or home”?
2. Do you take medication that makes you hungry?
3. If you got real hungry would you eat out of the trash can, is this a past behavior?
4. Do you or have you ever starved yourself to lose weight?
5. Have you ever “Binged and Purged”?
6. How healthy is your appetite in any area of your life?
7. Have you ever been or now bulimic?
8. Has someone ever had to lock up their refrigerator or cabinets due to your eating behavior?
11. Autonomy- Page 47 of 269
1. Do you enjoy being by yourself?
2. Do you like being left alone?
3. Do you do better being left alone?
4. Would you choose a job or career with few interactions with other people?
5. Do you like people or dealing with people?
12. Basic Information- Page 48 of 269
1. What gender are you and what was your assigned gender from birth?
2. How long have you lived at your current address?
3. What is your date of birth?
4. What is your horoscope sign?
5. What race do you consider yourself to be?
6. Do you have a religious preference?
7. Have you been in a controlled environment in the past 30 days?
8. What is your favorite color? 9. What are your expectations of others?
10.Tell me about yourself? 11.What is your definition of “Friendship”?
12.Do you have any children? 13.How do you feel about cats or animals?
14.What are your expectations for and in a Relationship?
12.Basic Information- Page 49 of 269
15.With whom do you spend most of your free time? 1-Family / 2-Friends / 3-Alone
16.Are you satisfied with spending your free time this way? 0-No 1-Indifferent 2-Yes
13.Boundaries- Page 52 of 269
1. How do you feel about the word “NO”?
2. Can you take “NO” for an answer the first time?
3. How do you set limits and still be a loving person?
4. How are you if and when someone sets limits and a boundary(ices)?
5. How are you if and when someone is upset or hurt by your boundaries? Do you feel hurt when others set boundaries?
6. What does a legitimate boundary look like?
7. Do you feel guilty or afraid when you consider telling someone “no”?
8. What can you do when someone wants more of your time, love, energy, or money than you’re comfortable giving?
14.Cleanliness- Page 53 of 269
1. Do You keep a Clean house, home or office?
2. Are you a Hoarder or Clutterer?
3. Do you now or have you ever went ‘dumpster diving’?
4. How do you feel about Clutter?
5. How do you handle clutter?
6. Are you a “control freak” or have OCD (Obsessive Control Disorder) when it comes to cleaning or being clean?
7. How do you feel about filth? 8. Do you think “Cleanliness is Next to Godliness?”
15. Communication- Page 54 of 269-
1. Do You think that you are an Effective Communicator?
2. Do you talk more than you listen?
3. Do you listen more than you talk?
4. Do you let your Significant Other know at least 80% - 90% of your moves?
5. Are you secretive?
6. What do you feel like you should tell a ‘loved one’ or Significant Other that may be “important”?
7. Do you think Effective Communication is important? How do you define it?
8. Tell me about a time you had “Effective” communication?
9. Tell me about a time you had “Ineffective” Communication?
10.How do you keep people out of your business and is this important to you?
16.Dignity- Page 55 of 269
1. What does Dignity mean to you?
2. How should people be treated?
3. If your Loved One or Significant Other became sick or financially broke how would you treat that person or respond to them?
4. What makes you feel dignified, valued or respected?
17.Disagreements- Page 56 of 269
1. Do you think that you may always be “Right”?
2. Have you ever “Agreed to Disagree”?
3. Is it better to be “Right” or in a “Positive Relationship”? Why?
4. Tell me about a time you disagreed with a friend?
5. Tell me about a time you disagreed with a boss?
6. Tell me about a time you disagreed with a family member?
7. Tell me about a time when someone disagreed with you?
8. How do you handle disagreements and in the past how have you handled disagreements?
18.Empathy- Page 57 of 269
1. What does the word “Empathy” mean to you?
2. Do you have empathy for others? 3. What does the word “Sympathy” mean to you?
4. If you cheat purposely on someone should your Significant Other have empathy for you because of the regret, you have on the ‘bad’ choice(s) you made?
5. What is something in your life that you deeply regret?
19.Exercise- Page 58 of 269
1. Do you have fitness goals for yourself?
2. What are your fitness goals?
3. Do you like to exercise or do physical activities? What activities are they?
4. How often do you do physical activities and what physical activities do you do?
20.Family Issues- Page 59 of 269
1. What do you consider to be a successful family?
2. Do you have, or have you ever had grown children to live with you? Or Have ever had to live with a grown child?
3. Does your family believe in ‘Nicknames?
4. Has a family member ever kicked you out of their home or car? Why?
20.Family Issues- Page 60 of 269
5. If you had to pick a label for your family members (spouse, children, mother, father, brothers, sister...), who fits each of the following descriptions? *??????Animal *??????Most colorful lover *??????Most creative * Best cook * Most frugal * Best * Most gardener generous * Best *?????? Most housekeeper mischievous * Best *?????? Most looking politically active * Best *?????? Most memory reclusive * Best story * Most relaxed teller * Most sociable * Biggest * Quietest tease * Shortest * Calmest * Tallest * Funniest * Hardest worker *?????? Most athletic
21. Family and Social Relations- Page 61 of 269
1. What is your earliest childhood memory?
2. Describe the personalities of your family members.
3. What kind of games did you play growing up?
4. What was your favorite toy and why?
5. What was your favorite thing to do for fun (movies, beach, etc.)? 6. Did you have family chores? What were they? Which was your least favorite?
7. Did you receive an allowance? How much? Did you save your money or spend it?
8. What was school like for you as a child? What were your best and worst subjects? Where did you attend grade school? High school? College?
9. What school activities and sports did you participate in?

10. Do you remember any fads from your youth? Popular hairstyles? Clothes?
11. Who were your childhood heroes?
12. What were your favorite songs and music?
21. Family and Social Relations- Page 62 of 269
13.Did you have any pets? If so, what kind and what were their names?
14.What was your religion growing up? What church, if any, did you attend?
15.Were you ever mentioned in a newspaper?
16.Who were your friends when you were growing up?
17.What world events had the most impact on you while you were growing up? Did any of them personally affect your family?
18.Describe a typical family dinner. Did you all eat together as a family? Who did the cooking? What were your favorite foods?
19.How were holidays (birthdays, Christmas, etc.) celebrated in your family? Did your family have special traditions?
20.How is the world today different from what it was like when you were a child?
21.Who was the oldest relative you remember as a child? What do you remember about them?
22.What do you know about your family surname?
23.What accomplishments were you the proudest of?
22. Friends- Page 64-5 of 269
1.What was your very first impression of me when you first saw me?
2.Do you have any brothers or sisters? How many? Are you all “Friends”?
3.Who’s your best / closest friend in the past and now in the present?
4.How do you spend your free time with your friends?
5.What is more important to you – status, power, or money?
6.What annoys you the most about people?
7.What’s one of the scariest things you’ve ever done with a friend?
8.What do you do for fun? 9.What’s something most people don’t know about you?
10. What’s something you wish everyone knew about you?
11. Do you think it’s better to get married when you’re young or better to wait a while?
12. What’s your favorite color?
13. What’s your favorite food?
14. What are some of your favorite books?
15. What are some of your favorite movies?
16. What’s one of your favorite habits you have?
17. What are the things that make you really happy when you’re dealing with a “friend”?
18. What are the things that make you really sad when you’re dealing with a “friend”?
19. What are the things that scare you when you’re dealing with a “friend”?
20. Everything happens for a reason, why do you think we met?
21. How do you see me?
22. What kind of friends or people do you like to be or hang around?
23. Do you make empty promises?
23. Goals- Page 67 of 269
Where have You been or been through in life?
Where are You now?
Where do You want to get to?
What kind of person do You want to become?
What learning goals have You set or have you set any?
How are you going to get where you want to go?
What learning and development actions do You need to undertake? What resources will You need to do perform them?
How shall You overcome obstacles to learning?
How will You know if You have arrived?
How do you measure achievement of goals? Is it money? Is it promotion? How do you measure success? What’s holding you back?
What’s stopping you from doing what You want to do?
Who can help you?
Who can teach you? From whom do and can You learn?
How do you define goal setting? What features of goal setting are important, if you want to ensure that your goals are more likely to be successfully achieved?
24. Gratitude- Page 69 of 269
1. What goodness have you created in the last day, week, months or year?
2. Have you ever forgot to celebrate your successes?
3. Do you ever make the time to give thanks for your successes?
4. What are you grateful for?
5. What have others done that has benefited your life—even if you don't know who those people are?
6. What relationships are you thankful for? 7. What are you taking for granted that you
may need to be grateful for?
8. How can you be thankful for the challenges that you’ve experienced? What did you learn from them?
9. How is your life different today than it was a year ago? How can you be thankful for those changes?
10.What insights have you gained that you are grateful for?
11.Who do you appreciate? Why?
12.What material possessions are you thankful for?
13.What about your surroundings (home/neighborhood/city/etc.) Are you thankful for?
14.What opportunities do you have that you are thankful for?
15.Where can you help people more? 16.How can you say thank you more?
25. Health- Page 71 of 269
1. How do you feel about being and eating healthy foods? What healthy foods do you eat?
2. What is your definition of healthy?
3. How do feel about eating unhealthy foods like pork, starches, white sugary foods, etc.?
4. How do you stay healthy?
5. What are your eating habits like?
6. Do you consider yourself to be healthy?
7. On a scale of 1-10 (1 being horrible and 10 being very healthy) how would you rate your health?
26. Integrity- Page 72 of 269
1. Tell me about the time when you spoke up within a situation that was unfavorable to you?
2. Was there any situation where you had to admit your mistakes to another person and how did you handle it?
3. What kind of methods and tips do you use to earn the belief and trust from others?
4. How do others describe you? Do you overly help others? Why?
5. Do people see you as an individual worth trusting? If so, why?
6. Explain a time when you were seen as a disappointment by another person?
7. Was there an instance when you had to question your truthfulness and honesty? If so, how did you curb that situation with proper control?
8. Have you experienced any kind of loss for following something right and just?
9. What was the most difficult thing that you had to tackle in your professional and personal life and what all measures did you take for solving that issue?
10.If you had to choose any three skills for a successful life what would those be and why?
11.Have you ever felt like you were not “good enough” for a person, job or anything else that you desi?
27. Insomnia (Sleep Problems)- Page 74 of 269
1. Do you know what a sleep disorder is?
2. Do you know if you have a sleep disorder?
3. Do you snore?
4. Do You have trouble falling asleep at night more than three times a week?
5. How often do You wake up often during the night?
6. Do You feel ti throughout the day?
7. Do You find yourself falling asleep while driving, at work or in class?
8. Do You have an itchy, crawly feeling in your legs?
9. Do You wake up with a headache or a dry/sore throat?
10.Do you sleep with the on and or have problems with sleeping with them on or off?
27. Insomnia (Sleep Problems)- Page 75 of 269
11.Do you have any of the following most common sleep disorders? * Sleep apnea, in which breathing stops or gets very shallow during sleep. Each pause typically lasts 10-20 seconds or more and can occur 20 to 30 times an hour. * Insomnia, which includes difficulty falling asleep, difficulty staying asleep, waking up too early and/or poor quality of sleep. * Restless Legs Syndrome (RLS), characterized by a strong, often uncontrollable urge to move your legs immediately before sleep, or other odd feelings like burning, prickling, itching or tingling. * Periodic Limb Movement Disorder (PLMD), in which patients have repetitive, uncontrollable and often imperceptive muscle spasms during non-REM sleep. * Narcolepsy, sometimes called “sleep attacks,” means falling asleep at unusual times and in awkward places. * Parasomnias, a category of undesirable physical or verbal behaviors during sleep, such as sleepwalking, bed-wetting, teeth grinding, frequent nightmares, night terrors, nocturnal seizures or sleep paralysis.
28. Intimacy- Page 77 of 269
1. Have you ever been in love before (me)?
2. What did it feel like when you realized you were in love (with me)?
3. What were you looking for when you found me? Were you looking for love at all?
4. Do you think we are compatible long-term?
5. Where do you see this relationship headed in the next year? What about the next five years?
6. Would you stay with me if you found out I was unable to bear children?
7. Would you want to be a good lover, and want to be there for me?
8. What can I do for you to be that (woman)/ (man) that is “close to Ideal” for you?
9. How do you imagine a day in the life of us, married with kids? What about a week in that life?
10. What can I do to show you how much I love you? Vice Versa
11. Do you believe in soul mates? What about love at first sight?
12. Have you ever been hurt in the past and questioned the possibility of love?
13. When did you realize you were in love (with me)?
28. Intimacy -Page 78 of 269
14. Do you see our love lasting? Do you ever have any doubts?
15. If you had to choose, would you rather receive a gift or have someone do something nice or helpful for you?
16. Do you like sentimental gifts, or do you always want a gift to have a practical purpose and it be something you need?
17. How do you think you best express love?
18. What types of compliments do you like to hear?
19. Do you think Intimacy is an important part of any serious relationship?
20. Is our relationship physical enough for you? What would make it better in your eyes?
21. How and where do you like to be touched?
28. Intimacy- Page 79 of 269
22. Do you have any fantasies you would like fulfilled?
23. What are your thoughts on toys?
24. Ideally (and a bit realistically, too), how often would you like for us to be intimate?
25. What are some things I can do outside of the bedroom to keep the feelings of intimacy going all day?
29. Interests- Page 80 of 269
1. How important are shared interests in relationships?
2. What is a very common mistake young people make in relationship decisions?
3. Does age really matter in a relationship?
4. Can a relationship work without having enough in common?
5. How much do looks matter in a relationship?
6. Am I a rebound relationship for you and does it matter?
7. Does a girl's/guy’s past relationships matter in a relationship?
8. What are the things that interest you in a woman/man and a relationship?
9. What is the most interesting thing about the person you're in relationship with, that you find very unique?
10. What is the coolest way to handle a man “hitting on or flirting with” your girlfriend/wife?
11. What things should you not sacrifice for a relationship?
12. What were some flags that you ignored at the initial stages of eventual past failed romantic relationships?
13. Do you get mad/sad when your boy(girl)friend doesn’t text you even though (s)he's online?
29. Interests- Page 81 of 269
14.What are the things that interest you in a relationship?
15.Are common interests a must for a happy relationship?
16.Do common interests matter in a relationship?
17.What’s more important to a relationship: common values or other commonalities like tastes in music, interests, etc.?
18.What is important to you in a relationship?
19.What are the most important values to have in common that make for a good long-term relationship?
20.To what extent are shared musical tastes important for a relationship?
21.Is it important to have common friends, interests, values, experiences, etc. to be in a romantic experience?
22.What's more important in a relationship, love or your happiness?
23.What is the most common thing men do that make women lose interest?
30. Legal Status Questions- Page 83 of 269
1. Are you or have you ever been Wanted or on “America’s Most Wanted”?
2. Have you ever been incarcerated and how many months were you incarcerated in your life?
3. How long was your last incarceration?
4. What was it for?
5. Are you presently awaiting charges, trial or sentence?
6. What for?
7. How many days in the past 30 days were you detained or incarcerated?
8. How many days in the past 30 days have you engaged in illegal activities for profit?
9. How serious do you feel your present legal problems are?
10.How important to you now is counseling or referral for these issues?
11.Are you on probation or` parole?
30. Legal Status Questions- Page 84 of 269
12.How many times have you been arrested or charged with the following?* Shoplifting/Vandalism____ * Parole/Probation Violations___ * Drug Charges____ * Forgery____ * Weapons Offense___ * Burglary/Larceny(Theft)/Breaking and Entering___ * Robbery____ * Assault____ * Arson____ * Rape_____ * Homicide/Manslaughter___ * Prostitution____ * Contempt of Court____ * Other_____
13.How many of these charges resulted in convictions?
30. Legal Status Questions- Page 85 of 269
14.How many times in your life have you been charged with or done the following? • Disorderly conduct, panhandling, public intoxication___ • Driving while intoxicated___ • Major driving violations___
15.How many months were you incarcerated in your life?
16.How long was your last incarceration? What was it for?
17.Are you presently awaiting charges, trial or sentence?
18.What for?
19.How many days in the past 30 days were you detained or incarcerated? 20.How many days in the past 30 days have you engaged in illegal activities for profit?
21.How serious do you feel your present legal problems are?
22.How important to you now is counseling or referral for these legal problems?
31. Listening Skills- Page 87 of 269
1. To be more productive, do you respond to emails and instant messages while you’re speaking to people on the phone?
2. Do you repeat points back during a conversation to clarify your understanding of what the other person is saying?
3. When people speak to you about sensitive subjects, do you make an effort to put them at ease?
4. Do you feel uncomfortable with silence during conversations?
5. As you listen, do you compare the other person's viewpoint with your own?
6. To get people to elaborate on their point, do you ask open questions (ones that can't be answe with "yes" or "no")?
7. When someone is speaking to you, do you nod and say things like "OK" and "uh-huh" occasionally?
31. Listening Skills- Page 88 of 269
8. Do you play "devil's advocate" to prompt responses from the other person?
9. Do you catch yourself asking leading questions to encourage the other person to agree with your viewpoint?
10.Do you interrupt people?
11.When people speak to you, do you stay completely still so that Do you don't distract them?
12.Do you try to read the other person's body language as you listen?
13.If the other person is struggling to explain something, do you jump in with your own suggestions?
14.If you’re busy, do you let others talk to you as long as they're quick?
32. Medical- Page 90 of 269
1. How many times in your life have you been hospitalized for medical problems?
2. How long ago was your last hospitalization for a physical problem?
3. Are you taking any prescribed medication(s) on a regular basis for a physical problem?
4. How many days have you experienced medical issues in the past 30 days?
5. How important is treatment to your medical issues?
6. Do you have any chronic medical problems which continue to interfere with your life?
7. How many times in your life have you been hospitalized for medical problems?
8. What is your medical history?
9. How is your health in general?
10.When was the las time you had a physical?
11.Does Cancer run in your family?
12.When was the last time you were hospitalized and why?
13.How do you take care of yourself?
32. Medical- Page 91 of 269
14. Do you believe that you can take care of yourself?
15. Do you bathe regularly?
16. How is your hygiene?
17. How many days have you experienced medical problems in the past 30 days?
18. How troubled or bothe have you been by these medical problems in the past 30 days?
19. How important to you now is treatment for these medical problems?
33. Medical Issues- Page 93 of 269
1. Do you have or ever had TB (Tuberculosis), AIDS, HIV, Cancer, Lupus, Leukemia?
2. Does TB (Tuberculosis), AIDS, HIV, Cancer, Lupus, Leukemia run in your family?
3. Have you been tested for TB (Tuberculosis), AIDS, HIV, Cancer, Lupus, Leukemia?
4. Do you have any fatal diseases?
5. Do you have any chronic health issues?
34. Mental Health- Page 94 of 269
1. Have you ever been hospitalized into a mental health facility? If so when and what for?
2. Do you have a diagnosed mental health illness? If so what is it?
3. Do you have anyone in your family with a mental health illness, diagnosed or undiagnosed?
4. Have you or any family member ever been institutionalized? If so, for how long?
5. Are you currently receiving Mental Health treatment?
6. Have you ever received Mental Health treatment in the past?
7. Do you have an individual Therapist? Why or why not?
8. In the past have you ever attended Group Therapy and now? Do you attend Group Therapy? Why or why not?
9. Do you have a Psychiatrist? Why or why not?
10.Do you think that you have a mental disorder or ever been told that you have a mental disorder?
34.Mental Health - - Page 95 of 269
11.When you were a child did you seek or have mental health treatment or mental health issues? Tell me more please.
12.Do you take medications for any Mental Health or Mental Health related issues?
13.Do you believe in Mental Health or ever consider getting Mental Health treatment?
14.Do you have any family members with mental health problems? How do they feel about Mental Health treatment?
15.Do you have a Mental Health diagnosis and if so what is it?
16.Does any of your family members have a Mental Health diagnosis and if so what is it or are they?
17.If you do have a Mental Health diagnosis how severe is it?
35.Motivation - - Page 98 of 269
1. What do you do to motivate yourself?
2. Are you Self-motivated?
3. Do you motivate others and or enjoy it?
4. Do you put out Positive or Negative energy?
5. What motivates you? 6. How important is being motivated to you?
7. When you meet people do you have a hidden agenda and most of the times what is your agenda?
8. What are your motives and intentions when you first meet people?
9. Do you are have you or ever had “Energy drainers, Vampires, or Leechs” and or their same motivations when dealing with other people?
10.Are you a User/Loser? (Cause others to lose Serenity and Peace and take advantage of others)
11.Are your motives or intentions based on using or taking advantage of people?
35.Motivation - - Page 99 of 269
12.Do you have motives 90% of the time that are pure and or do you have ulterior or alternative motives when you give things or information to people?
13.Do you connect your activities with your self-esteem?
14.Are you a Leader or a Follower?
15.Are you an Introvert (loner) or an Extrovert (people person) or both sometimes?
16.How do you feel about tangible rewards or awards?
17.Do outside forces control you and how do you feel about this?
18.Do you do things to try and please others and or expect something in return?
36.Mutual Support - - Page 101 of 269
1. Do you believe in being there for your Significant Other Physically, Spiritually, Financially and Mentally, etc.?
2. Are you a Taker or a Giver and what are your thoughts on “Give a Little / Take a Little”?
3. Have ever given “much”? Have you ever “received “much”? Tell me more, please.
4. How do you feel about Supporting each other and what ways do you think people ‘should’ support each other?
5. In your past, have you ever supported a person and once that person got on their feet stopped supporting that person?
6. Do you support someone to control them?
7. Are you there for your Significant Other throughout all the good and the bad?
8. If you found out that your Significant Other was having someone else’s child, would you still support them in any way? Please explain.
9. If after being with your Significant Other for years and you happen to find out that the child, you were raising was not yours how would you feel and has this ever happened before? Please tell me more.
37.Outlook - - Page 103 of 269
1. What is your Outlook on life?
2. Do you think that you have a Negative or Positive Outlook on life? Please explain.
3. What was your Mother’s/ Father’s/ Siblings and other family members Outlook on life?
4. How do you define “Outlook on Life” and do you have an “Outlook on Life”?
38.Past, The - - Page 104 of 269
1. Describe the past 3-5 relationships that you have been in?
2. Have you in your past done any types of drugs or alcohol and do you do any now? If so Why?
3. Do you learn from your past? If so, is it by force or choice?
4. What have you learned from your past that stands out to you the most?
5. Do you feel like it is important to talk about your past or just leave it alone and “Let Go and Let God”?
6. Do you and have you kept secrets?
7. What has been your greatest fear?
8. What is your deepest secret?
39.Perceptions- Page 105 of 269
1. Do you care about how others perceive you? Why or why not? Tell me more.
2. What’s something that no one would guess about you?
3. What do you believe in?
4. If you could be doing anything, anywhere right now, what and where would it be?
5. What do you wish you had done differently in your life?
6. What are you doing to improve yourself?
7. What’s one thing you’ve had to overcome in your life?
8. What’s the most important thing to you?
9. What did you learn about yourself from your previous relationships?
10.How do you handle being in a bad mood?
11.What do you wish someone would ask you?
12.Do you have grand perceptions of yourself and how do you perceive yourself?
39.Perceptions- Page 106 of 269
13.How do you want others to perceive you?
14.What is your perception of me?
15.Do you or have you ever felt or thought that you may have had faulty perceptions?
16.Do you “Shoot first” and “Ask questions later”? Why or why not?
17.Are other people’s “Time and Money” important to you? Have you ever wasted someone’s “Time and or Money”? What is your perception on your own and other’s “Time and Money”? Please explain.
40.Problem Solving- Page 107 of 269
1. How do you solve problems?
2. Do you solve problems through Verbal Communications effectively?
3. Do you or have you ever gone to bed mad without properly solving your problem?
4. Do you or have you ever in any way used or abuse someone to solve your problem(s)?
5. Is thinking things through important to you?
6. How often do you stop to “plan ahead”? Would you give me an example?
7. Do you “plan ahead” and when you do is it for evil or good reasons?
8. What are your motives when you “plan ahead”?
9. Describe a time you had to solve a problem without someone’s help. How did you do it and what was the result?
10. Give an example of a time you identified and fixed a problem before it became urgent.
11. Tell me about a time you picted a problem. How did you prevent it from escalating?
40.Problem Solving- Page 108 of 269
12. Describe a situation where you faced serious challenges? What were the challenges, and how did you overcome them?
13. Recall a time you successfully used crisis-management skills?
14. A new issue has arisen to get you and your Significant Other in legal hot water. How would you handle this?
15. How do you know when to solve a problem on your own or to ask for help?
16. Describe a time you had to solve a problem without someone’s help. How did you do it and what was the result?
41.Psychiatric Status- Page 109 of 269
1. How many times have you been treated for any psychological or emotional problems?
2. How many times have you been treated in a hospital or inpatient setting? Why and what happened?
3. How many times have you been treated as an Outpatient/ or private patient?
4. In the past 30 days or in your life have you had a significant period of time that was not a direct result of drug or alcohol use in which you have Experienced serious depression?
5. In the past 30 days or in your life have you had a significant period of time that was not a direct result of drug or alcohol use in which you have Experienced serious anxiety or tension?
6. In the past 30 days or in your life have you had a significant period of time that was not a direct result of drug or alcohol use in which you have Experienced hallucinations?
41.Psychiatric Status- Page 110 of 269
7. In the past 30 days or in your life have you had a significant period of time that was not a direct result of drug or alcohol use in which you have Experienced trouble understanding or concentrating or remembering?
8. In the past 30 days or in your life have you had a significant period of time that was not a direct result of drug or alcohol use in which you have Experienced trouble controlling violent behavior including episodes of rage or violence?
9. In the past 30 days or in your life have you had a significant period of time that was not a direct result of drug or alcohol use in which you have Experienced serious thoughts of suicide?
10. In the past 30 days or in your life have you had a significant period of time that was not a direct result of drug or alcohol use in which you have Attempted suicide?
11. In the past 30 days or in your life have you had a significant period of time that was not a direct result of drug or alcohol use in which you have Been prescribed medication for any psychological or emotional problems?
12. How many days in the past 30 days have you experienced any psychological or emotional problems?
13. How much have you been troubled by any psychological or emotional problems?
42.Reciprocity- Page 112 of 269
1. How do you define Reciprocity?
2. Do you believe in Reciprocity?
3. Do you treat others as you want to be treated?
4. Do you use people?
5. Are you an Energy drainer, Emotional/Financial Vampire or Emotional/Financial Leech?
6. Do you listen more or do most of the talking? Why?
7. Do you respect others who don’t respect you?
8. Do you give the respect you request or that you want for yourself?
9. Are you a Giver or a Taker or both? Please explain.
10.What is your opinion on Giving and Taking?
43.Relational Time- Page 113 of 269
1. What are your True Intentions with me?
2. Do you show others how you care about them and if so how?
3. What is your purpose in a relationship?
4. Do you like to “Go Out”? If so what do you like doing?
5. What recreation do you enjoy?
6. Do you put the toilet seat down when you are finished?
7. Do you believe in “Forgive and Forget” and not throw the past back in a person’s face?
8. Do you think if a person continues to do “Wrong” by you that you should stay in that relationship?
44.Rock Bottom - NOTE: (Most people who hit a Rock Bottom are not focused and “Taking care of their business”-And it is OK to abandon a person who is hindering your progress)- Page 114 of 269
1. How would you treat me if I fell on “Rock Bottom in one, or any or all areas of my life?
2. Have you ever had a “Rock Bottom”? How do you feel about people who Bounce back?
3. Describe for me a time you felt that you hit “Rock Bottom”?
4. Is it ever OK to abandon a person who has hit their “Rock Bottom”?
5. Has someone ever “abandoned” you when you hit a Rock Bottom? Tell me more?
6. Have you ever “abandoned” someone when they hit a Rock Bottom? Tell me more?
7. What caused your Rock Bottom?
8. Did you learn anything from hitting your Rock Bottom, if so what was it?
45.Self-Esteem- Page 115 of 269
1. How is your Self-Esteem, really?
2. How do you feel or think about yourself?
3. How do you feel or think about me?
4. Is having a healthy Self-Esteem important to you?
5. Has anyone contributed to you having a low-self-esteem? Tell me more.
6. Do you worry about what other people think, really?
7. Do you give your power away to other people’s thoughts?
8. Do you try to please others?
9. What is more important – how others value you or how YOU value you?
10.Are you concerned with getting respect from others who clearly have a problem with their own self confidence?
11.How do you feel about a person staring at you?
12.If you have self-esteem issues what is it specifically that is causing you to have low self-esteem and feel self-conscious?
45.Self-Esteem- Page 116 of 269
13.To you, are friends a really important part in your life? How can you stay in a long-lasting relationship?
14.Can you say you have ever had at least one true good friend and do you believe in having friends?
15.How can you stay in a lasting friendship?
16.Do you GIVE of yourself? How?
17.Are you honest always to Others and yourself?
45.Self-Esteem- Page 117 of 269
18.Are you a friend who likes a person for who they are, or do you pretend to like them for who you think they are?
19.Are you a Pretender? Predator? Prey?
20.Are you trustworthy as you want your friend to be?
21.Do you talk about your feelings and thoughts and share them with your friend and listen to your friend?
22.Do you Respect your friends by showing the friend how much you value them?
23.Are you helpful and kind and sympathetic or empathetic?
24.Do you believe in a true friendship as a two-way effort?
25.What kind of person are you?
26.Are you going to change your life and take steps to find yourself?
27.Are you working on your life?
28.Have you found yourself?
29.“How can you feel more confident when talking to colleagues?”
30.“what is the cause of low self-esteem?”
45.Self-Esteem- Page 118 of 269
31.In your life have you ever really wanted to succeed?
32.How do you feel about hindering another person’s progress?
33.How do you feel about someone else trying to sabotage or hinder your progress?
34.Do Religious Beliefs affect your “Self-Esteem”?
35.Are you a decisive decision maker?
46.Separation/Divorce- Page 120 of 269
1. Are you and have you ever been married (legally, common law or non-legally)?
2. Are you and have you ever been Separated?
3. Are you and have you ever been legally Divorced?
4. Do you believe in marriage and what are your thoughts on marriage?
5. What are your thoughts about a happy marriage -vs- a toxic marriage?
6. Do you believe in a toxic marriage?
7. Do you believe in a happy healthy marriage?
8. Do you believe in legal Divorce? Explain.
9. Do you believe in legal Separation? Explain.
10.If you are Divorced (legally, common law or non-legally), why is this so?
11.Did they legally “Divorce” or” Separate” from you or did you legally “Divorce” or” Separate” from them? Please tell me what happened.
46.Separation/Divorce- Page 121 of 269
12.Were there children involved?
13.If you have been or are now “Divorced” or” Separated”, how many times has this happened?
14.Are you on a “Trial” separation?
15.Are you and your Spouse Living apart?
16.Are you and your Spouse in a Permanent legal separation?
17.Are you and your Spouse in Legal separation?
18.How long have you been separated?
19.Why did you all decide to separate?
20.Do you and your wife/husband still live together? And are still sexually active with one another and or others?
21.Are you and your wife/husband working towards reconciliation?
22.How do you all split parenting duties if you all have children?
46.Separation/Divorce- Page 122 of 269
23.Do you all have plans to divorce?
24.Have you all each agreed to see other people? Why? Tell me more, please.
25.Why did you and your wife/husband decide to proceed with a divorce?
26.Who initiated the divorce proceedings?
27.How Do you feel about the divorce proceedings and how are you all handling it (mediation, family court, etc.)?
28.How does your wife/husband feel about what’s going on?
29.How would you characterize the divorce proceedings (bitter, not bitter, very difficult, relatively painless, etc.)?
30.Is there a possibility that you and your wife/husband might try to reconcile your marriage at some point?
46.Separation/Divorce- Page 123 of 269
31.If you all have kids, how do you all divide parenting duties?
32.How long has it been since your divorce?
33.What were the reasons for your divorce?
34.How often do you and your Ex communicate with each other now?
35.How do you and your Ex split parenting duties? (Assuming kids are involved)
36.How Do you view marriage now?
37.Do you see yourself getting married again in the future? Why or why not?
38.Are there things you would do differently in your relationship if you got married again? Please explain.
47.Strengths- Page 124 of 269
1. What are your Strengths?
2. Do you feel like your Significant Other should be a strong person? In what ways, if so?
3. If your Significant other became weak (emotionally, mentally, psychologically or physically, etc.) how would you deal with this?
4. What are your strongest Academic areas such as Reading, Writing, Math, Science, or History, etc.?
5. What are examples of weakness disguised as strengths that you may have?
48.Stress- Page 125 of 269
1. Do you have identifiable external stressors?
2. What do you need to address differently than you have before?
3. Are any of your stressors tied to key relationships that have particular meaning for you? Personal or professional? Explain them specifically.
4. What is the meaning that they have to you?
5. What in your life is in danger?
6. What in your life is threatened?
7. What in your life is Scary? 8. Is there a person or persons tied to where the stress is coming from? Who?
9. What do you need to do to deal with that situation?
10. Is your stress coming from external forces mainly, or internal forces? Like pressure from inside? Voices and unrealistic demands from inside your own head? Conflicts from inside? Explain them. Where does that silly thinking come from?
11. How do you need to observe stressors and change it?
48.Stress- Page 126 of 269
12. What is the key fantasy that would make all your stress go away? Is it a hire? Is it a different kind of relationship than a hire? Is it some kind of help?
13. Do you wish to be rescued by someone strong and able, or supportive and nurturing?
14. What do you see on your schedule that makes your stress go up or is totally de-energizing as you look at it? Explain it. Why does it do that to you?
15. What can you change about how you think about stress? Can you get rid of it? Can you get help with it? How can you address it actively?
16. Who or what do you see on your schedule that is a downer or de-energizer in some way? Explain it. What can you do about it?
17. What is in your control? Can you eliminate it? Delegate it? Change it so it is a positive energy? Get rid of parts of it?
18. What do you feel responsible for that is out of your control?
19. Who do you feel affected by that is outside of your control? Explain those people.
48.Stress- Page 127 of 269
20. Who is filling your “Love” tank? After being with them do you feel full? Happier? Refreshed? Energized? Relaxed? Explain about them? When and what happens?
21. Who is the drains your Love Tank? The ones with whom the result is negative to you. Explain them? When and what happens?
22. Where are you operating outside of your strengths? Explain those times and places.
23. Who do have around you that you secretly wish would go away? Explain them.
24. What is lying "out there" that feels threatening? Foreboding? How? Is it outside your control? How? How are you interpreting its possible outcome or result? Explain it.
25. Are you getting the rest and relaxation you truly need, Really?
26. Where do you feel like you are falling short of your own expectations or the expectations of others? How?
48.Stress- Page 128 of 269
27. Are those expectations realistic or even true? Have you asked? Have you had a solution-oriented discussion with others?
28. Are you isolated and cut off from people or activities that fuel you? How much of the time? Why?
29. Do you feel controlled by others? Whom? Explain them. Why can’t you or aren’t you saying “no”?
30. Who do you resent? Why? How have they conned you into having to put up with it?
31. What hurts? In your heart? What can make you sad to think about or talk about? Who are you talking about it to? Why not? Are they helpful? Who could you trust?
32. What are you currently going through that triggers old pain or trauma or anxiety? What are you being reminded of?
33. How do you handle Stress?

34. How do you handle stressful stress-filled situations?
35. Have ever contributed to someone else’s stress or “Stressed Out” another person?
36. Do you have a coping mechanism for stress and if so what is it?

https://www.success.com/blog/23-questions-to-ask-yourself-when-youre-stressed-out

49.Toxic People- Page 130 of 269
1. Are you “All take, no give” in your relationships and life?
2. Do you leave people Feeling drained?
3. Can you be trusted and if so how will I know?
4. Do you thrive in a hostile atmosphere?
5. Are you occupied with imbalance?
6. Do you have constant judgment and belittling?
7. Are you persistently unreliable?
8. Are you loaded with negative energy?
9. Do you do a lot of “lack of communication”?
10.Do you show continuous disrespect or mutual respect?
11.If I cannot turn to you, is there a reason to be in the relationship?
12.Do you have ceaseless control issues?
13.Do you have never-ending drama?
14.Have you ever left someone with feelings of unworthiness?
15.Are you always undermining are reassuring?
16.Do you have smiles to make a person feel like everything is ok?
49.Toxic People- Page 131 of 269
17.Are you packed with uncertainty?
18.How do you feel about having jealousy or envy for others?
19.Do you feel like a person in a relationship should have the right to say “NO”?
20.Are you still stuck in the past?
21.How do you feel about acknowledging mine and another people’s values?
22.Are you laced with dishonesty?
23.Have you in the past and now do you cut corners or accept anything that is second rate?
24.Are you filled with criticism?
25.Do bring out the worst in people?
26.How do you feel about this phrase “I cannot do anything right”?
27.How do you feel about being around Toxic people?
28.How would you define a “Toxic Person”?
29.Do you have “Toxic” people in your family? If so, who are they?
30.Have you ever been in a Relationship with a “Toxic Person”?
31.Are you a “Toxic Person”?
32.How in the past have you and how do you now deal with a “Toxic Person(s)”?
50. Trust- Page 133 of 269
1. Tell me about your relationship track record?
2. What kind of women/men do you typically date?
3. Why and how did your last relationship end?
4. How much do you open up during conversations?
5. How do you conduct yourself online (Facebook, the computer, etc.)?
6. Is your online persona in line with your offline persona?
7. How well do you usually keep in touch with people?
8. How would you maintain adequate contact with me?
9. Do you respond- to texts, emails or letters, etc. in a timely fashion?
10.Do you tell your plans? Why or why not?
11.What are your true intentions and expectations for this relationship?
12.What does “Trust” mean to you?
13.How quickly should a person be able to know that they can trust you?
50. Trust- Page 134 of 269
14.What would make me know I can trust you?
15.How do you know when it is safe to “Trust” someone?
16.Who you do trust and or not trust? Why or why not?
17.Has someone ever betrayed your trust? How did you handle it?
18.Are you “Trustworthy”? What makes you “trustworthy”?
19.Have you ever betrayed a good friend’s “trust”? How did you deal with the situation?
51. Vehicles (Cars, Trucks, ETC)- Page 136 of 269
1. Do you have a vehicle? What kind is it or are they?
2. Have you ever had 1 or more vehicles? What happened to them?
3. Do you allow other people to eat in your vehicle and do you like to eat in other people’s vehicles?
4. Do you keep a clean vehicle?
5. Have you in the past and now do you use or take advantage of a person pretending to be in a Relationship just because they have a Vehicle?
6. Have you ever abandoned a Relationship once the vehicle was out of service?
52.What Do You Want?- Page 137-8 of 269
1. What do you want out of LIFE?
2. What do you want out of A RELATIONSHIP?
3. What do you want out of THE FUTURE?
4. What do you want out of THE PRESENT?
5. What are your hopes?
6. What are your dreams?
7. Do you want much for yourself?
8. Do you or have you ever “settled for 2nd best” in your life?
9. Do you ever ask for exactly what you want, or do you expect people to read your mind about your wants and become angry and frustrated when your wants and needs are not met?
10.How do you act when you can’t get what you want? Please give me an example?
11.Has anyone ever stopped you from getting what you want? How did you handle this and please share about the experience?
12.Where do you want to be this time next year?
13.Where to be in the next 5 Years?
14.Where to be in the next 10 Years?

Phase 2 -- QUESTIONS LIST

- Page 139 of 269

SCROLL DOWN ON PAGE ______

******** PLEASE SCROLL DOWN ********

1. Abuse History - Page 141 of 269
1. Are you abusive in Intimate Relationships?
2. Has anyone ever been abusive to you in an Intimate Relationship?
3. How do you feel about Physical abuse?
4. How do you feel about Mental abuse?
5. How do you feel about Emotional abuse?
6. How do you feel about Verbal abuse?
7. How do you feel about Financial abuse?
8. How do you feel about neglect or any other types of abuses?
9. Did your Mom, Dad or any Caregiver ever abuse you at any time? If so, Tell me more.
10. Do you suffer from (PTSD) Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?
11. Have you ever abused a child, children or animals? If so, tell me more.

2. Active Listening - Page 143 of 269
1. If your Significant Other has something very important to say but cheated on you, would you listen to them? Why or why not?
2. Do you listen to Non-verbal body language as well as verbal language?
3. Do you think a person can tell you they are cheating without saying it directly or verbally?

3. Affirmation 4.- Page 144 of 269
1. If your Significant Other had a Sex or any other addiction which arose later in your relationship, would you still Affirm them? If so, why? If not, why not?
2. If your Significant Other told you after 9 months or greater that they were having a child by someone else, would you affirm them and stick it out until the child is due and stay there after the child arrived? Why or why not?
3. How important is daily or weekly affirmation to you in an Intimate Relationship?
4. How often have you ever affirmed a past Significant Other?

4. Anxiety- Page 145 of 269
1. Do you currently suffer from Anxiety and how do you handle anxiety in an Intimate relationship?
2. Have you ever suffered from anxiety and please explain if so?
3. Do you know what the root causes of Anxiety may be?
4. What could or would make you have Anxiety?

5. Attraction 6.- Page 146 of 269
1. Let’s say we were in a deep loving relationship and a very handsome man (or woman) that you would’ve been attracted to in the past enters the room. What is your reaction or response?
2. What would you do if my sister or another family member flirted with you or came on to you?
3. Do you think that you should ever leave your Significant Other for someone else you have a “greater attraction” to?
4. How would you feel if your Significant Other left you for someone they found a “greater attraction” to? Have you done this before?
5. How do you handle someone being and showing attraction to your Significant Other?
6. Should your Significant Other be on the alert for someone else who may be attracted to you?

6. Autonomy- Page 148 of 269
1. How do you now and in the past handle it when your Significant Other wants to do things on their own?
2. What does autonomy mean to you?
3. Do you ever feel the need to control a person’s every move?

7. Basic Questions- Page 149 of 269
1. When was your last relationship and what was it like? Tell me about it, please?
2. What do you expect from an Intimate Relationship?
3. What do you “Bring to the Table” in a Relationship?
4. What are your relationship Expectations?
5. What are your relationship Needs?
6. What are your relationship Wants?
7. What are your relationship Desires?
8. Are you willing to give a Balanced amount of what you are expecting from your Significant Others?

8. Boundaries- Page 151 of 269
1. Do you ever create sacred time for yourself and bring out your journal and reflect on the areas of your health, finances, career, home, and relationships?
2. What causes you stress?
3. Do you honestly identify what you are truly feeling?
4. What are your needs or desires that aren’t being met?
5. What are you saying YES to and what are you saying NO to?
6. Are there behaviors you are tolerating from yourself or others that aren’t healthy? Is it time to raise your standards?
7. Do you have any conflicts or situations you have been coping with instead of resolving?
8. What needs to change?

9. Career- Page 152 of 269
1. What are your career goals?
2. What are your short-term 3-month goals?
3. What are your long term 1-2 years?
4. What are your goals within the next 5 years?
5. What are your goals within the next 10 years?

10.Cheating- Page 153 of 269
1. Have you ever cheated?
2. What is your attitude regarding cheating?
3. Why do you think some people cheat on their Significant Other?
4. Would you take a person back after they have cheated on you?
5. In the past, if you have cheated how long did that episode last?
6. Do you think that cheating can lead to Physical, Verbal, Mental or any other types of abuses on either the Significant Other, the cheat-ee or both?
7. Do you think that cheating can be used as a form of Control? Please explain and have you ever done this before. Do tell?
8. Do you think it is ok for a person to hurt their Significant Other by purposely cheating on them?

11. Childhood History- Page 154 of 269
1. Please tell me how you may have witnessed Intimacy with your parents as you were growing up?
2. Did you ever see a loving relationship between your parents or caregivers?
3. How were you treated growing up?
4. Are you affected by any childhood trauma that may involve intimacy?

12.Dating- Page 155 of 269
1. What lets you know that you are in an “Exclusive” relationship with a person? Or How do you let someone know that you want to be exclusively (only want to be with) that person such as a 100% of the time- One Woman Man or Vice Versa?
2. How long will you be in an exclusive relationship before you consider an engagement to be married?
3. How do you feel about marriage and commitment?
4. How do you really feel about children and or having children?
5. How do you truly feel about me?
6. What does the term Significant Other mean to you?
7. What does the term “side” chick or dude mean to you?
8. How long do you think that you should know a person before you consider yourself in a relationship?
9. What is your favorite color?
10.What are we?
11.What is your opinion or attitude about being single?
12.What is your attitude about being married?
13.How important is commitment to you in an exclusive relationship?

12.Dating- Page 156 of 269
14.What are your career goals?
15.Are you currently “shacking up” or living with a lover? If so for how long? Why do you not choose to commit legally to one another?
16.Are you currently dating anyone or is anyone currently dating you?
17.Are you married?
18.Have you ever been married?
19.If so, tell me about your past marriage and why did it end?
20.Are you and have you ever been Divorced?
21.How many Intimate Relationships have you been in?
22.How many marriages have you had?
23.How many divorces have you had?
24.Do you have any children?
25.How many children do you have? Claimed or unclaimed?
26.Have you ever participated in any abortions and how do you feel about abortions? How many were there?

13.Depression - - Page 158 of 269
1. Do you suffer from Depression?
2. Do you suffer from Bipolar Depression?
3. Have you ever had Depression?
4. What does Depression mean to you?
5. How long should a person be allowed to be depressed?
6. What may have caused Depression for you?
7. Have you ever contributed to someone else’s Depression? How? Explain?
8. Has someone contributed to your depression? Who? Explain.

14.Difficult Relatives - Page 159 of 269
1. Do you have any difficult relatives?
2. Who are your difficult relatives and please explain?
3. Are you considered a difficult relative?
4. What makes a relative difficult, to you?
5. How do you handle a difficult relative?

15.Dignity- Page 160 of 269
1. What is your definition of Dignity?
2. How do you deal with others when it comes to dignity?
3. If you were suspicious of your Significant Other giving affection and attention to another person, how would you handle that situation?
4. How do you feel when people treat you with dignity?

16.Empathy- Page 161 of 269
1. Do you have empathy for a broken (financially challenged) Significant Other?
2. Do you have empathy for a sick (health challenged) Significant Other?
3. Do you have empathy for a wounded (physically challenged) Significant Other?
4. Do you show empathy for your Significant Other? How?
5. How do you show empathy for your Significant Other?

17.Engagement- Page 162 of 269
1. How do you feel about marriage and commitment?
2. Have you ever been truly engaged? When? Tell me more.
3. Have you ever pretended to be engaged with a willing party? Tell me more.
4. Have many times have you truly been engaged? Tell me more.
5. How many times have you and a willing party pretended to be engaged? Tell me more.

18.Family Issues- Page 163 of 269
1. Do you and your ex or baby’s momma (daddy’s) get along?
2. On a scale of 1 to 10. (1 being the worst and 10 being great), how would you rate your relationship with your family?
3. Describe the past 3-5 relationships that you have been in?
4. Do you spend time with your children and if so how much time do you spend?
5. Do you want more children? Why or why not?
6. Would you say you have had a close reciprocal relationship with any of the following people?
*?Mother ___ *?Father____ *?Brothers/Sisters____ *?Sexual Partner/ Spouse____ *?Children____* Friends____ 0-Clearly NO 1-Clearly YES 2-“I don’t know” 3- Never was a family member -Reciprocal means “You would do anything to help them and they would do the same.”

18.Family Issues- Page 164 of 269
7. Has anyone ever abused you? Past 30 days Life Emotionally ____ ___ (Make you feel bad through harsh words) Physically ____ ___ (Caused you Physical harm) Sexually ____ ___ (Forced sexual advances/acts) 8. How many days in the past 30 days have had serious conflicts?
With your family? _____ With Other people? ______ 9. How troubled or bothered have you been in the past 30 days by: Family problems ______ Social Problems_______
10. What is your marital status? • Married ___ • Remarried____ • Widowed____ • Separated___ • Divorced___ • Never Married____
12. How long have you been in this marital status? ___Yrs. ___Mos.

18.Family Issues- Page 165 of 269
12. What is your usual living arrangements from the past 3 years?
With sexual partner and children * With sexual partner alone * With children alone * With parents * With family * With friends * Alone * Controlled environment * No stable arrangement
13. How long have you lived in these arrangements?___Yrs. ___Mos.
14. Are you satisfied with these arrangements? 0-No 1-Indifferent 2-Yes 15.How many CLOSE friends do you have?
16.In the past 30 days or in your life have you had significant times in which you have experienced serious problems getting along with your MOTHER? Tell Me More.

18.Family Issues- Page 166 of 269
17.In the past 30 days or in your life have you had significant times in which you have experienced serious problems getting along with your FATHER? Tell Me More.
18.In the past 30 days or in your life have you had significant times in which you have experienced serious problems getting along with your BROTHER OR SISTERS? Tell Me More.
19.In the past 30 days or in your life have you had significant times in which you have experienced serious problems getting along with your SEXUAL PARTNER OR SPOUSE? Tell Me More.
20.In the past 30 days or in your life have you had significant times in which you have experienced serious problems getting along with your CHILDREN? Tell Me More.
21.In the past 30 days or in your life have you had significant times in which you have experienced serious problems getting along with your OTHER SIGNIFICANT FAMILY? Tell Me More.

18.Family Issues- Page 167 of 269
22.In the past 30 days or in your life have you had significant times in which you have experienced serious problems getting along with your CLOSE FRIENDS? Tell Me More.
23.In the past 30 days or in your life have you had significant times in which you have experienced serious problems getting along with your NEIGHBORS? Tell Me More.
24.In the past 30 days or in your life have you had significant times in which you have experienced serious problems getting along with your CO-WORKERS? Tell Me More.
(Serious problems= meaning threatened the relationship) (Problems = to having exchange by phone or in person, etc.)
25.Has anyone ever abused you Emotionally? (Make you feel bad through harsh words)
26.Has anyone ever abused you Physically? (Caused you Physical harm)
27.Has anyone ever abused you Sexually? (Forced sexual advances/acts)

18.Family Issues- Page 168 of 269
28.In the past 30 days have you had serious conflicts with your family?
29.In the past 30 days have you had serious conflicts with other people?
30.In the past 30 days how troubled or bothered have you been by family problems?
31.In the past 30 days how troubled or bothered have you been by social problems?
32.How important to you is treatment or counseling for Family problems?
33.How important to you is treatment or counseling for Social problems?
34.Would you say you have had a close reciprocal relationship with any of the following people?*?????Mother ___ *?????Father____ * Brothers/Sisters____* Sexual Partner/ Spouse____ *Children____ * Friends____ 0-Clearly NO 1-Clearly YES 2-“I don’t know” 3- Never was a family member - Reciprocal means “You would do anything to help them and they would do the same.”

18.Family Issues- Page 169 of 269
35.Do you live with anyone who? Has a current alcohol problem? 0-No 1-Yes
36. With whom do you spend most of your free time? 1-Family 2-Friends 3-Alone 37.Are you satisfied with spending your free time this way? 0-No 1-Indifferent 2-Yes Uses non-prescribed drugs? 0-No 1-Yes

19.Food Issues- Page 171 of 269
1. Do you believe that your Significant Other should purchase all of the food for the household?
2. How would you feel if you were the only one in the household purchasing all of the food in the house?
3. How do you feel or what do you think about going “Out to Eat” and how often?
4. How do you feel or what do you think about “Tipping the waiter or waitress”?
5. Have you in the past and do you now ever flirt with your waiter or waitress especially in front of your Significant Other?

20.Finances - (Note: Joint Accounts always cause problems and chaos) - Page 172 of 269
1. What is your attitude regarding spending and saving money?
2. How do you handle your finances?
1. Are you going to create or not create a joint account? Why? Or why not? What are your thoughts?
2. Do you need each other’s permission to withdraw money from that joint account?
3. Do you put everything in a joint account or have a separate account for you just in case something wrong happens?
4. When earnings are combined, would we have enough money to satisfy our daily expenses? Do you have enough for things that come unexpectedly?
5. Has your salary increased in the past? Should you be making more?
6. Can you find a second job to help us pay our bills and save some more money?
7. What else can you do to make more money?
8. Are you in debt?
9. If so, what are you doing or going to do to make this debt get paid off?
10.Are you looking for me to help you pay your own debts?

21.Finances and Us - - Page 174 of 269
(NOTE: Joint accounts are not a good idea and cause a lot of problems for relationships)
1. What is your attitude regarding your Significant Other’s money?
2. How would you feel if your woman /man (Significant Other) made or had more money than you?
3. Do you think that a woman (your Significant Other) should financially take care of a man (or their loved one) or vice versa?
4. What is your attitude regarding your money?
5. Do you like to pamper your woman financially?
6. What is your definition of “generous”?
7. Are you generous? In what ways?
8. Are you stingy?
9. Are you thrifty and savvy?
10. Do you pay all your bills on time?
11. Do you think that your Significant Other should pay all of the bills?
12. Do you believe in having Joint accounts or Separate accounts?

22.Financial Questions - - Page 176 of 269
1. How is debt going to affect our chances of getting loans for our family such as home loans, car loans, and the like? -- Note: Proverbs 22:7 The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.
2. Are you looking for me to borrow money from our parents?
3. What and how much debt are we bringing into our relationship? Who is expected to pay it?
4. When you Retire where are you going to live? Are you going for a city-type living or a country living?
5. How much do you need during retirement?
6. How much do you have right now and how much do you need to save to attain your retirement goals?
7. When are you going to retire?
8. What are you going to do if you can’t meet your retirement goals or needs? Will you continue to work?
9. Will you rely on your kids for support?
10. What are you spending on? Are those needs or wants?

23.Finances and Money - - Page 178 of 269
1. Do you know how to save?
2. Was there ever something wrong with how you and your partner managed your money?
3. Were one or both of you not disciplined enough when it came to money?
4. How much did each of you contribute? Does one (need to) contribute more?
5. When unpredicted financial events occur involving people who you are responsible for, what is your involvement or responsibility?
6. When it comes to insurance, how much is designated for your partner and your kids? How about those other people you are responsible for? How much is designated for them?
7. Will you be responsible for their health insurance, education, everyday needs, etc.?
8. Will you be financially responsible to help your parents when time comes that they need help?
9. Will you bring your parents to live with you?
10. Are you with me for Life Insurance purposes?

24.Future, The - - Page 180 of 269
1. How do you feel about children?
2. What are your plans for our Relationship in the Future?
3. Where do you see us in 1 year?
4. Where do you see us in 5 years?
5. Where do you see us in 10 years?

25.Gay (Homo-Sexual) Issues-Sexual - - Page 181 of 269
1. Are you gay or bisexual?
2. Do you consider yourself to be Heterosexual?
3. Do you consider yourself to be Homosexual?
4. Do you consider yourself to be Bisexual?
5. Do you consider yourself to be Transgender?
6. Do you consider yourself to be Straight?
7. Can you relate to the LGBTQ, etc. community?

26.Generosity- - Page 182 of 269
1. Do you believe in giving to the poor?
2. Do you believe in giving to “Grown” people who refuse to work?
3. Do you “Take from the Rich and Give to the Poor”?
4. Do you take care of your business first before “Tithing” or “Giving”?
5. Do you take of your business first before giving to another person?
6. How do you define Generosity?
7. Would you give more to strangers than you would your Significant Other?

27.Goals - - Page 183 of 269
1. What are your Short Term 1-6 month plans and goals for our relationship?
2. What are your Long-Term plans and goals for our relationship?
3. What are your 1-year goals for our Relationship?
4. What are your 5 years or longer goals for our Relationship?

28.Housing - - Page 184 of 269
1. Do you own a house or any other form of property?
2. Have you ever owned a house or any other form of property?
3. Do you prefer to live in a house or apartment?
4. What is your preference of housing?
5. Have you and do you now live outside?
6. Have you and do you now live in a tent?
7. Have you and do you now live with someone else?
8. Have you ever lived in substandard housing? How did you feel and what did you think?

29.Illness - - Page 185 of 269
1. Do you currently have any illnesses?
2. Have you had any illnesses in the past week? What was it?
3. Have you had any illnesses in the past 30 days? What was it?
4. Have you had any illnesses in the past 60 days? What was it?
5. Have you had any illnesses in the past 90 days? What was it?
6. Have you had any illnesses in the past year? What was it?

30.Integrity - - Page 186 of 269
1. What does Integrity mean to you?
2. Do you have Integrity? Please describe it?
3. Tell me about a time in which you showed ethics and integrity?
4. Tell me about a time in which you DID NOT show ethics and integrity?

31.Interests - - Page 187 of 269
1. How do you keep a healthy and interesting relationship?
2. What are your Extra-Curricular Interests?
3. Have you ever been interested in going out to clubs while being in an Exclusive Relationship?
4. How would you feel about your Significant Other going out to clubs while being in an Exclusive Relationship?
5. Are you easy to get distracted with any other Interests of any kind and possibly neglect your Significant Other?

32.Intentions - Page 188 of 269
1. How do you feel and or what do you think about me?
2. What does it mean to you to have an Intention or Intentions?
3. What are your true Intentions with me?
4. Do you monitor your intentions when making choices and or dealing with people?

33.Intimacy - Page 189 of 269
1. What is your definition of “Intimacy”?
2. What are your thoughts about Intimacy?
3. Were you Intimate in your last Relationship? Tell me more.
4. Please describe to me how you are Intimate?
5. Do you use Intimacy or the “lack of” Intimacy as a control mechanism?
6. Can you please describe an Intimate moment you had with your past Significant Other?

34.It’s Complicated Relationships - Page 190 of 269
1. What do you think about “It’s Complicated” Relationships?
2. Why do you think people say that they are in an “It’s Complicated” Relationship?
3. Have you ever been in one or more “It’s Complicated” Relationships?
4. If you have been in one, what contributed to it becoming an “It’s Complicated” Relationship?

35.Marriage -- - Page 191 of 269
1. Do you believe in Marriage? Why or why not?
2. What are your thoughts on Marriage?
3. Are you currently married?
4. Have you ever been married?
5. How many times have you been married?
6. What were your true reasons for marrying?
7. Do you believe in Divorce? Why or why not?
8. How long should you know a person before marrying them?
9. Do you feel like it is lust if you are wanting to marry the person soon after only knowing them 6 months are less?
10.Do you believe in truly honoring your marriage vows? Why or why not?
11.Do you feel like or think that children can contribute to a happy or unhappy or destroyed marriage? Why or why not?
12.Should infidelity ruin a once happy marriage of 1-50 plus years? Why or why not?
35.Marriage - - Page 192 of 269
13.How do you view marriage?
14.Do you believe in Pre-marital counseling? in Pre-marital Sex?
15.Do you consider marriage to your Significant Other to be “An Old Ball and Chain”?
16.What are your true motives for getting married?
17.What were your true motives for getting married?
18.Should people marry for financial gain or for love or both? Please explain.
19.Was your marriage a marriage of convenience?
20.Was your marriage a Rebound relationship?
21.Did you get married to get back at someone?

36.Money - - Page 194 of 269
1. What is your take on money?
2. How do you feel about money?
3. Are you stingy or generous with money?
4. If a lazy member of your family needs some money would you give it to them? Why or why not?
5. Have you ever asked other people (related or non-related) for money? Please explain and give me some examples
6. Have you ever stolen money from your Significant Other? Why?
7. Has someone ever stolen money from you? Tell me more.
8. Is it important for you to be the only “Bread Winner”?
9. Is it important for your Significant Other to be the only “Bread Winner”?
10.Is it important for you both to be the “Bread Winners”?
11.Tell me about a time you “ran out of money”?
12.How di you feel about your Significant Other being the only “Bread Winner”?

37. Money Troubles - - Page 196 of 269
1. How would you feel if your woman /man (Significant Other) made or had more money than you?
2. Do you think that a woman (your Significant Other) should financially take care of a man (or their loved one) or vice versa?
3. What is your attitude regarding your Significant Other’s money?
4. What is your attitude regarding your money?
5. Have you ever had money troubles?
6. What is your definition of “Money Troubles”?
7. Can you tell me about a time you had “Money Troubles”?
8. Are you having “Money Troubles” now?

38.Money Issues-Wealth -vs- Poverty - Page 197 of 269
1. Have you ever filed “Bankruptcy”?
2. How is your Credit currently? Poor, Fair, Good, or Excellent? Can you prove it?
3. If you really loved a person who has poor credit, would this affect your relationship? Would you stay, leave or help?
4. How would you deal with that person?
5. What is your ideal income? Do you have a number (ex. $25,000 a year)?
6. What is Your Financial Luggage?
7. Did both your mother and father work? How did they manage income?
8. How did your mother and father communicate about money?
9. Do you have any economic disappointments?
10.Does your mother and father or anyone else pay any of your bills?
11.How do you trace your capital?
12.Is anyone subject to you financially?

38.Money Issues-Wealth -vs- Poverty - - Page 198 of 269
13.What spree would you never depart from?
14.What’s the one big experience you’re hoping to save for?
15. What do you imagine your life will look like in 10 years?

39.Motivation- Page 200 of 269
1. Does having fresh breath and a clean mouth motivate you?
2. Does working motivate you? Explain. Why or why not?
3. Does having Money motivate you? Explain.
4. Does a fine woman/man motivate you? Explain.
5. Would being “broke” motivate” you? Explain.
6. Are you motivated to take care of your Teeth? Why or why not?

40.Mutual Support- Page 201 of 269
1. How do you give Mutual Support to your Significant Other?
2. What makes or allows another person to be given the title Significant Other for you?
. If I was looking for a job how could, or would you be supportive or would you try to hinder my progress?
4. Do you feel like Financial Support is the only means of showing Mutual Support?
5. How do you feel about Emotional and Mental support?
6. Is it ever OK to only give emotional and mental support but not financial support? Vice Versa?

41.Open Relationships- Page 202 of 269
1. How do you define an “Open Relationship”?
2. Have you ever been in an “Open Relationship”? Tell me more.
3. If a person is financially “broke” but needs the finances of the Significant Other that they really don’t love, should they just “Use” the Significant Other and turn to having an “Open Relationship”? Explain.
4. Do you think that people should just split if they are not “In-Love” and one is having Financial Problems? Should they agree to an “Open Relationship”? Explain.
5. What would be your expectations for an “Open Relationship”?

42.People Living With You- Page 203 of 269
1. Do you currently live with anyone?
2. How do you feel about your Significant Other’s family coming to visit?
3. Should your Significant Other TELL or ASK you if their family member can come to have an extended visit or stay with you all?
4. How long should you let someone stay with you? Explain
5. If someone stays with you, will or would you have rules for them? Why or why not?
6. Have you ever kicked a person out of your car, office, house or apartment? If so Why or why not? How did things turn out?

43.Present, The- Page 204 of 269
1. Do you do “Smoke screen effects” appearing to be a good person or something or someone you are not? Why? Or why not?
2.Do you suffer from “Father Hunger”?
3.Do you suffer from “Mother Smothering”?
4.Do you try to “Control” other people? If so how and why?
5.Are you a Direct Person or an Indirect Person? Why?
6.Are you a rude person or have you ever been called rude? Why?
7.Are you Assertive, Passive, Passive-Aggressive, Aggressive, or Abrasive?
8.Do you believe in working on yourself in Every Area or feel like that is BS (Bull Crap)?
9. How is your life truly going for you at this moment?
10.If you had 3 wishes, where would you want to be right now?
11.Are you behind on any bills currently?
12.Do you meditate positively daily?
13.How are you truly handling any stress right now?
14.Are you currently taking any medications?

43.Present, The- Page 205 of 269
15.Where do you stay currently? With a spouse, alone, transitional home, hotel, etc.?
16.Do you presently get along with your family of origin?
17.Do you have good credit, now?
18.Are you a “Momma’s Boy”? 19.Are you a “Daddy’s Girl”?

44.Past Relationships- Page 207 of 269
1. Did you have children? If so, how many?
2. In the past have you paid child support or contribute in any way to your child/ren’s wellbeing?
3. Have you ever been married?
4. If so, tell me about your past marriage and why did it end?
5. Why didn’t you marry your Baby(ies) momma?
6. Tell me about your last 3-5 relationships?
7. Have you ever been negligent, emotionally, mentally, sexually, psychologically, financially, physically abusive in any way to anyone in your past?
8. How do you feel about your mother? (VIP Question)
9. How do you feel about your father? (VIP Question)
10. How do you feel about your family?
11. How do you feel about your siblings? (VIP Question = Very Important Priority)

45.Past, The- Page 209 of 269
1. How has your credit been in the past?
2. Where have you been living over the past 10 years? Tell me more.
3. Are you truly over any and all negative situations over the past 10-40 years?
4. Did you have a negative past over the past 1- 50 years plus? Tell me more?
5. How did you interact with your family in your past?
6. How did you treat your siblings in your past?
7. How did you treat others in your past? Please give me some examples and tell me more?

46.Psychiatric Status- Page 210 of 269
1. Name me some mental issues that may arise in this relationship?
2. Has anyone ever had to leave a relationship with you due to any Mental Health issues or problems that you may have?
3. Has any Mental Health issues caused a strain on any relationships in your past?
4. Do you feel like you are mentally healthy or stable enough to be in a healthy relationship?
5. Do you think a mentally unhealthy person can contribute to a toxic, unhealthy relationship?
6. Could sex affect your mental health?

47.Relational Time- Page 211 of 269
1. Does it matter to you when it comes to spending alone time with your Significant Other?
2. Would you rather take care of “business” first then have alone time?
3. What is your take on “Business before pleasure”?
4. Do you get upset if your Significant Other puts business first before Relational time?
5. Would you rather be broke and homeless and have relational time or attend to your business while your Significant Other may feel lonely and abandoned but you have all of your needs met? What is most important to you?
6. How would you deal with your Significant Other saying that they feel bored or lonely in the Relationship?

48.Resources- Page 212 of 269
1. Are you a Resourceful person? If so how?
2. Do you Depend on others for Resources?
3. Do you Depend on others for most of your Resources?
4. Do you think that your Significant Other should be the resourceful one instead of you?
5. Do you believe in the “Bare Minimum”, “Getting by”, whatever is only mandatory, or do you believe in excellence 95% of the time?
6. What does it mean to be resourceful?
7. Do you think that “taking advantage” of someone is considered to be Resourceful?
8. Have you ever been Resourceful in the past? Please give some examples and tell me more.

49.Romance- Page 213 of 269
1. What does “Romance” mean to you?
2. Are you Romantic?
3. Do you or have you ever used Romance as a way to be manipulative or cunning with ulterior motives other than pure Romance?
4. Do you believe in Romance? 5. If you do believe in Romance, how would you like your Significant Other to be Romantic?

50.Self-Focused- Page 214 of 269
1. What does being “Self focused” mean to you?
2. Are you “Self-focused” or Selfish in a negative way?
3. Do you think your Significant Other should be “Self Focused”?
4. Is there a such thing as a positive Selfish and a negative Selfish? Explain.
5. What makes a person Selfish in a negative way?
6. What way can a person be Selfish in a positive way?

51.Sex- Page 215 of 269
1. How do you feel about premarital sex?
2. What is the longest time that you ever went without sex?
3. When was the quickest time it took you to have sex with a person? When and what age did you first have any type of Sexual intercourse or activity?
4. Do you like sex? Tell me more.
5. What are your feelings about sex?
6. Do you consider sex to be something sacred between two people who truly love each other?
7. Have in the past and are you currently having sexual relations of any type with a family member (known) or (unknown) or any other persons?
8. Have often in the past have you had sex? Tell me more.
9. How often do you currently have sex like over in the past 90 days to the past year?

52.Sexual Questions- Page 217 of 269
1. Have you ever Raped or attempted to Rape someone? Explain.
2. Have you ever been raped or almost raped? Tell me more.
3. What are your thoughts about rape?
4. Do you believe in Masturbation?
5. Do you understand what Masturbation is?
6. How do you feel about Masturbation? Do you have religious beliefs or personal beliefs about Masturbation? Tell me more and how you came about with these beliefs?
7. Have you ever had anal, oral, or vaginal intercourse ever? How often?
8. Have you ever given or done anal, oral, or vaginal intercourse ever? How often?
9. Have you ever or are you now promiscuous?
10.What does being promiscuous mean to you?

52.Sexual Questions - Page 218 of 269
11.Have you ever been molested as a child?
12.How sexual are you?
13.Do you participate in violent sex acts like Sadomasochism S&M, BDSM or anything similar?
14.Do you consider yourself to be a “Stallion” in the bedroom?
15.Have you ever caused bruising in a vagina because your penis was too large, or you were too rough? Tell me more.
16.Has anyone ever had Sexual Intercourse with you in your anus? How often. Tell me more. Were they strangers, family members, one-night stands, etc.?

53.Sex-STD’s - Page 220 of 269
1. Have you ever had, and do you now have a (STD) Sexually Transmitted Disease? Tell me more if you had one or more and what is or was it?
2. Do you have an STD now? What is it or are they?
3. How do you feel about getting tested at the Health Department of Clinic and sharing your results with me? Why or why not?
4. How do you feel about your Significant Other inspecting your genitals to check for STD’s? or about home Rapid STD tests?
5. Do you think that “STD” can also stand for Spiritual Transmitted Diseases?

54.Sex History - Page 221 of 269
1. How do you feel about Pornography and in the past, have you and do you now watch and or participate in pornography?
2. Have you ever inserted your penis into a man’s anus or mouth and have you ever had a man insert his penis into your anus and or mouth?
3. Have you ever slept with someone outside of your race?
4. Is Sex important to you?
5. How early or what age did you begin self-masturbation?
6. How early or what age did you begin letting another person give you masturbation?
7. How many lovers have you had?
8. Did you know all of your lovers or sex partners?
9. Have you ever participated in any gay or bisexual acts?
10.What is the longest time that you ever went without sex?
11.When was the quickest time it took you to have sex with a person? How often had that occurred? Tell me more, please.

55.Sex Problems - Page 223 of 269
1. Have you ever had any Sexual problems or problems with orgasm issues? Tell me more.
2. How would you define a “Sexual Problem”? Explain.
3. Do you have erection problems?
4. How do feel about your genitals?
5. Do you feel distress during sex?

56.Strengths - Page 224 of 269
1. What are your Strengths?
2. How do you define a “Strength”?
3. How strong do you see yourself being?
4. How do you feel about other people’s strengths, especially your Significant Other’s Strengths?
5. Have you ever had power struggles because of another person being perceived as “Stronger” (emotionally, physically, mentally, etc.) than you? Tell me more and how you dealt with the situation?

57.Sustainability - Page 225 of 269
1. What does the word “Sustainability” mean to you?
2. How do you sustain yourself?
3. If you had to do something illegal to sustain yourself would you do it? Why or why not? And What would it be?
4. How in the past and do you now sustain your relationships? Please explain.
5. Do you use others or take advantage of other people to sustain yourself?

58.Traveling - Page 226 of 269
1. How do you feel about Traveling?
2. How do you feel about your Significant Other Traveling?
3. Do you like Traveling?
4. How do you travel daily?
5. Do you believe in or use public transportation?
6. Do you let strangers travel with you? Why or why not?
7. Which do you prefer, Public or Private transportation? Explain.

59.Trust - Page 227 of 269
1. What does “Trust” mean to you?
2. Should I “Trust” you? Why or why not?
3. Do you feel like you are a Trustworthy person? Explain.
4. Do you feel or think that you would have to convince me that I can and or should trust you?
5. Do other people trust you? Why or why not?
6. In the past has someone not trusted you? Why or why not?
7. If at one time you were not trusted, how did you feel about it?
8. Has anyone ever lost trust in you? Please explain?
9. How can a person regain trust with you if you have shown them that you could not be trusted?

60.Weaknesses - Page 228 of 269
1. What does having a “Weakness” mean to you?
2. What are your weaknesses?
3. Do you feel like you have any weaknesses?
4. What is your opinion on seeing weaknesses in another person?
5. How do you treat a person you feel has a weakness?

61.Weight Issues- - Page 229 of 269
1. Is weight an issue for you regarding your Significant Other?
2. How do you feel about a Significant Other who may have been slim in the beginning of your relationship but gained a significant amount of weight?
3. Are you sensitive about your Significant Other’s weight? Why or why not?
4. Should people be sensitive about their Significant Other’s weight?
5. Should you keep quiet if you see your Significant Other losing or gaining a significant amount of weight or just go on and get a life Insurance policy out?

62.Work/ Employment - Page 230 of 269
1. Do you work?
2. Where do you see yourself in 1, 5, and 10 years from now?
3. What type of job do you do and what is your occupation?
4. Do you believe in working hard or working smart?
5. What do you think about the statement “You think LONG you think WRONG”?
6. What Is your ideal career?
7. Are you truly happy doing the work you do?
8. What is the difference between the words JOB and CAREER?
9. Do you know what the 80/20 rule is? Do you believe in the 80/20 rule? It means: (Work 20% of the time and play 80% time)
10. Do you think that your Significant Other should have their own career?
11. How much education did you complete?
12. What technical training have you completed?
13. Do you have a profession, trade or skill?

62.  Work/Employment - Page 231 of 269
14. Do you have a valid Driver’s license?
15. Do you have a car or any other vehicle available for usage?
16. How long was your longest full-time job?
17. What was your last occupation?
18. Does someone contribute to your support in any way? Is this the majority of your support?
19. What was your employment pattern for the past 3 years?
20. How many days were you paid for working in the past 30 days? (including under the table)?
21. How many people depend on you for the majority of their food, shelter, etc.?
22. How many days have you experienced employment problems in the past 30 days?
23. How troubled or bothered have you been by these employment problems in the past 30 days?
24. How important to you now is counseling for these employment problems?

62.Work/ Employment - - Page 232 of 269
25. What is your usual occupation?
26. How much money did you receive from Employment in the past 30 days?
27. How much money did you receive from Unemployment Compensation in the past 30 days?
28. How much money did you receive from Welfare in the past 30 days?
29. How much money did you receive from Pension, benefits or Social Security in the past 30 days?
30. How much money did you receive from family or friends in the past 30 days?
31. How much money did you receive from Illegal means in the past 30 days?
32. What was your usual unemployment pattern in the past 3 years? * Full-time (35+ hours)? * Part-time (regular hours)? * Part-time (irregular hours)? * Student? * Military Service? * Retired/disability? * Unemployed? * In controlled environment

62.Work/ Employment - - Page 233 of 269
33. How many days were paid for working in the past 3 days?
34. What is your dream salary and job or career?
35. Would you rather work on a job or career? What is the difference?
36. How do you feel about working? 37. What is your take on or thoughts about spending, having and saving money?

63.Personal Self-Questions to ask Yourself - - Page 236 of 269
1. Does this relationship bring out the best in me and them?
2. Do I feel like the best version of myself, or a less-than-stellar version of myself?
3. Do I feel a lot of negative emotions in me?
4. Do I feel like my needs or desires are fulfilled?
5. Do I feel happy or upset the majority of the time?
6. Do I feel comfortable disclosing my feelings?
7. Do I feel supported?
8. Do I feel like I am having to sacrifice more than I should have for the relationship?
9. Does this relationship feel like a burden in my life?
10.Do we share the same passions and goals for our future?
11.Do we fight more than we are laughing?
12.Does this relationship feel like a chore or dreadful part of my life?

63.Personal Self-Questions to ask Yourself - Page 237 of 269
13.Do we make time for one another?
14.Do I feel like I constantly put myself on the back burner?
15.Do I really love them for themselves, or just for the person I want them to be and do I think they feel vice versa?
16.Will I regret ending the relationship today?
17.do I feel like they have added value to my life and vice versa?

Phase 2 Tell Me More About You” Phase
-is where you and the other person decide that you both like each other, you want to pursue the relationship more- however watch out for RED Flags

FUTURE QUESTIONS LIST

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“I Think I Like You and Want to Keep You in My Life”

Page 241 of 269 Page 242 of 269

Dr. Gunther states, “There are many things you could ask that would gain you the information you need, but there are ten potent and successful data gathering questions that successfully begin the process of really knowing who someone is. Because they are deeply intimate inquiries, it is also important that you approach your potential partner from authentic curiosity and a love of mutual exploration.”

Dr. Gunther also states, “If you both are interested in knowing what you can expect from each other in an intimate, long-term relationship, you should be readily willing to be just as open in return. Being willing to be as honest as you are able will give you the best chance of creating a heads-up as to what your chances of success are down the
line.
Dr. Gunther states the “Following are 10 questions that are often successful initiators of a strong beginning, along with some explanations and examples. As you go through them, explore what your own reactions and answers would be if you were to be on the other end of someone who is looking for the same kind of genuine intimacy.” 

Randi Gunther, Ph.D., Psychology Today. When Love Stumbles: How to Rediscover Love, Trust, and Fulfillment in your Relationship:  Rediscovering Love:Relationship Triangles: Conspiracies That Threaten Intimate; Love Is EasyRelationships are hard.; Is Fighting Destroying Your Love? - A Questionnaire;
Toxicity and Intimacy Cannot Co-Exist for Long

Phase 3 “I Think I Like You and Want to Keep You in My Life” Phase
-is an ongoing phase of questions to maintain your desired relationship.

Future, The - Page 243 of 269

1. “What are you like when you don’t get what you want?”
2. “If you disagree with your partner about something important, what tactics do you typically use to convince him or her to be on your side?”
3. “Are you open to new ways of looking at things even if they conflict with your own opinions?”
4. “When something is important to you, what techniques do you most
often use to get your partner to do what you want?”
5. “When you feel disconnected from your partner, what do you usually
do to get back together?”
6. “Are you honest with your partner about what you need in a relationship?”
7. “Are you trustworthy?
8. “Do you hold on to resentments?”
9. “How do you most typically express your love for someone?”
10. “Do you hold on to resentments?”

Phase 4 “The Exit Inner View” Phase

QUESTIONS LIST

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-The Relationship has ended and is over and you want to better prepare yourself for the next Relationship in the classroom of the School of Life.

4.  Exit InnerView Questions

•    Page 247 of 269 
 Step back and look at the big picture. 
 
ME, MYSelf and I 

1. How did you contribute to the problems of the relationship?
2. Do you tend to repeat the same mistakes or choose the same type of wrong person in relationship after relationship?
3. Think about how you react to stress and deal with conflict and insecurities. Could you act in a more constructive way?
4. Do you consider whether or not you accept other people the way they are, not the way they could or “should” be?
5. Examine your negative feelings as a starting point for a change. Are you in control of your feelings, or are they in control of you? 

---------------------------------

Personal Self-Questions  --- 

to ask  THEM -   Page 249-254   of 269 

1.Did this relationship bring out the best in you and or me? 
2. Did you feel like you were the best version of yourself, or a less-than-stellar version of yourself? 
3. Did you feel a lot of negative emotions in you in this relationship? 
4. Did you feel like your needs or desires were fulfilled? 
5. Did you feel happy or upset most of the time? 
6. Did you feel comfortable disclosing your feelings? 
7. Did you feel supported? 
8. Did you feel like you or I were having to sacrifice more than either of us should have for the relationship? 
9. Did this relationship feel like a burden in your life? 
10. Did we share the same passions and goals for our future? 
11. Did we fight more than we were laughing? 
12. Did this relationship feel like a chore or dreadful part of your life? 
13. Did we make time for one another? 
14. Did you feel like I constantly put you on the back burner? 
15. Did you really love me, or just for the person you wanted me to be? Did you feel like I loved you and accepted you just for you or did you feel like my love was fake? 
16. Do you regret ending the relationship today? 
17. Do you feel like I added value to your life and vice versa? 

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SUDOKU Inner View Questions

-  Page 255 of 269 
 

DOWN /ACROSS /All AROUND 
(Nothing shall Repeat) 
 
1. Caring  
2. Discreet 
3. Education  
4. Focused  
5. Fun 
6. Industrious  
7. Loving 
8. Respect  
9. War 
 
Caring ---1. How do you care or show that you Care for others? 
Discreet  --  2. How do you handle a Discreet situation and what does being discreet mean to you? 
Education  -- 3. How much education do you have and how do you feel about learning? 
Focused  --  4. Are a focused person or do you get easily distracted? 
Fun  -- 5. What do you for fun? Tell me about 10 of those things. 
Industrious  -- 6. How do you feel about being an Industrious person? Are you industrious and how do you work on improving yourself?   
Loving  --  7. How do you show yourself love? 
Respect  -  8. Do you have Respect for all people? How do you show respect for all people and give me some examples? 
War -  9. Are you a Lover or a Warrior or both? Tell me more.